The dude that banged your girlfriend sounds pretty savage. I read the text convo from your other thread. His verbal banter is piss poor. He probably reads on a fifth grade level. But GOTDAMN does homeboy have no problem showing intent. I know it stings but you should take some notes from this fool for when you try to bang new chicks. (You are single now...right? Right???)

For real though, I know these type of situations can be truly sickening. You are probably in a whirlwind of conflicting emotions. Violating the chick's privacy with the Facebook thing was a categorical bad move. These guys are right...it is never okay to invade someone else's privacy. That being said I'm not gonna lecture you on it. I think most of us here have become insecure at one point and slipped in our lives. But that is how you learn from it. You gotta respect the rules of a committed healthy relationship. That means you can't undermine your partner. When you looked at her chat messages you were going behind her back to see if she was going behind your back. That is committing the same sin.

Your gut will almost always alert you to possible red flags. If you sense a true threat in a relationship, then the best thing to do is to communicate with your chick about it. (Sounds a lil gay but I'm serious). You could have asked the chick point blank if she was sleeping with someone else. This may still be insecure, but at least it is honestly communicated. Of course she could lie to you, but that is something that you will never be able to control. Sucks to hear right? That is the truth though. You can only control your own actions. Trying to control any situation 100% is a fools errand. When you enter a relationship, you are taking a leap of faith that you will both value honesty and personal integrity. So the important thing is that you did what was right on your end.

As guys, we are always told to not show weakness or insecurity, and I think this is bullshit. It only makes guys MORE insecure and they end up pushing their insecurities underground where they still continue operating. If you can't communicate openly with your girl, then I would go as far as to say that you will always be on a crash course for failure.

As a personal value of mine, I have made a promise to myself that I will NEVER take back a cheater. No ifs ands or buts. Life is too short for that shit.

First i must say that we weren't OFFICIAL girlfriend-boyfriend. But the situation was clear that we were exclusive with eachother, we also had a relationship in the past so thats why i'm putting it in this section.

CLIFFS ON ME AND MY GIRLFRIEND
-Im the first guy she ever fell in love with
-We dated 1 year ago for 3 months, then i broke up with her because i had no feelings
-I never really was IN LOVE with her
-She chased me for 1.5 year trying to get me back, not doing anything with other guys
-Lately i have fallen in love with her surprisingly and we became exclusive again, but not official relationship if you know what i mean
-Nicest girl i've ever met
-Tells me im the most important person in her life
-Lived with me for 2 months when her family situation was icky

This is another topic i've made a couple days ago about a sexual tinted conversation she had with one of my ex-friends

viewtopic.php?f=128&t=192247

Now after this she sent me a red rose with a teddybear adn a note that said sorry, i asked her to come over and talk and wanted to forgive her mistake as it was "Only" those messages

The conversation went like this

Me: Ok before we talk i want you to know that i know a lot more about the situation than you think, i've talked with the guy you talked with and he told me everything, now, i want to hear the whole story from you and if i catch you lying then it is over between us

(I didnt talk with the guy at all i was just bluffing)

Now she told me everything, she had sex with him, here are some cliffs on what happened

-She went over to his house to pick up something she forgot there last time at a party
-He started making sexual advances, she told him to stop multiple times but he didn't stop, eventually she gave in
-They kissed, she gave him a blowjob but after every 3 seconds she stopped and was thinking to herself "omg what am i doing" the guy also commented on her saying she shouldn't stop all the time, the blowjob lasted 30 seconds or so
-She layed down and said omg what are we doing, he then tried to penetrate her in missionary basically, she kind of stopped him with her legs and feet so he coulnd't enter all the way, this lasted 30 seconds as ewll
-She then stood up and wanted to walk away but he grabbed her and told her to sit on him and that it will be over soon then, she did it and he fucked her in this position for 2 minutes or so, then he stopped because he had to cum but didnt want to come inside her or something
-She grabbed her stuff and went away after this


At first i've deleted her from everything but for some reason i kept coming back to her, i just love her so much and she's always been faithful in those 2 years that i've known her (except for this obviously lol)

How do i know this? I hacked her laptop and read every message on her facebook and looked up her internet search history for the past 2 years, i may sound psycho but whatever lol, im sure if she's cheated there would have been something there.. (Like the conversation with the guy .. )


She said she regrets it a ton and is super sorry and wants to do everything she possibly can to win back my trust and fix this, she wants to give me all her passwords , facebook etc. and i can read her phone anytime i want, i said i didn't want this but yeah

I've talked with her a lot of times over the past couple of days, these are the reasons she gave for why she did it


- I was the only guy she ever had sex with and she wanted to see how it would be with another boy, basically she wanted to experiment

- She has been chasing me for 1 year and i've always turned her down, she started thinking something was wrong with her because i kept turning her down, then when i started to like her again she thought it was just a phase and that that would go over soon again, thats why when she got the attention from the other guy she basically enjoyed it and one thing led to another

- What happened was a real "wake up call" for her, even when the sex was going on she realized that she didn't want it and thats also why the sex basically sucked and lasted a short time, she realised she wants to really be with me and doesn't want to experiment anymore and fuck around and flirt with other guys and shit

- She said she was scared because the guy came over as kind of aggressive, she gave in to his advances to just "get it over with"

Now obviously these are reasons she told me and who knows whats true and what isn't ..


The thing is i really love her eventho she did one of the worst things a person can ever do to one other.

And the fact she didn't do anything with another guy after our breakup 1.5 year ago also says something in my opinion,

Maybe this really was just a big mistake and a one time thing,


Moderator: Read the forum rules around illegal drug references


I know i am the only one who can decide what is right or wrong but i would love to hear opinions and advice on this, i am thinking about this almost 24/7 and i have no rest in my head.


Fun fact:

When i talked to her and she said she wanted to experiment i asked if she wanted to experiment with other things,

The word threesome came up and she wasn't against the idea but she wanted it to be a good friend of her

She has a best friend that is basically just as crazy (in a good way) like her and she might be down with it in the future.

Her best friend is a pretty girl, although not my type, but still, figured i'd post at least one positive thing that came out of this shit situation

Thanks in Advance