Hey everyone, firstly introductions... I was a frequent member of this board a few years back, but then got into a long term relationship, using the things I had learned here. I stuck around for about year into the relationship to try and give back to the community, but eventually ran out of time/interest.

Fast forward a few years and I am back to being single. Its tough getting back into things, not that you deliberately try to stop gaming, but you just get into some bad/lazy habits.

Something that always stuck with me that I learned, is when youre interested in a girl, show her, dont tell her. I think in the past we've all been guilty of professing out interest in a girl only to get a response back that wasnt what we hoped for.

Currently Im talking to a girl who I work with. Im dating other girls but I must admit, this one holds my interest best. Problem is, we're both busy. Some suggest to only talk to her as much as necessary to arrange a meet, but I find myself caught up in long, deep converasations with in amongst whatever else we are up to. I talk to her when I can at work but things have been busy there also. Should i try and cut back these conversations until a meet up can be arranged? (where I can put my idea of show dont tell into practice by escalating kino, etc.) Or would doing so be counterprductive? Leading me to continue to develop the connection via text.

tl;dr Is a passing busy (and clashing) schedule enough to warrant no contact?

Some of the following is because you weren't as detailed as I needed and somethings are out of place... You can disregard a lot of this if you are already dating her, but let me know and is she a friend outside of work too as of now cause you mentioned the whole via text... I'M CONFUSED lol

Hope this clears up a lot of your lazy/bad habits and uplifts you because it is a lot...
Yes, it does go like the saying that "Actions speak louder than words"

Telling a girl you like her or you love her... you DON'T
She'll know you like her when you show interest, she'll know your feelings when you move steps ahead into the relationship.
Also it makes for awkward times where someone will say how they feel and it wont get returned cause usually when that happens the relationship or whatever it was tends to be messed up.

I also don't know if you've been told, but the workplace is not a place to date and have sex unless you want to always see that person again if something goes wrong and if you don't mind the occasional sexual harassment lawsuits that may come your way. It's not like porn where you can fuck in the office and have no problems later on or better yet get a promotion lol

These long ass deep conversations you're talking about aren't doing anything if you aren't progressing and having any kind of meetup later so in reality these conversations ARE counterproductive and really just making her further away from you even though it seems soooo meaningful.
Also YES... save the talking for a long time during dates cause when you have a date what will there be to talk about? You also want to display someone who has a busy life, someone who creates attraction, someone who actually does things, and someone who shows that they are an important person even at work... you don't want to display a behavior where you have tons of time to kill ALL THE TIME and you're so happy that she's there to entertain someone who is as BORING as you are.

You have to find hobbies and things that you are passionate about, but also something that is going to boost your confidence and make women more drawn to you rather than doing something that makes you look like an idiot or freak or some desperate clown, also have you even talked to this girl outside of work?

Does she even know you as a friend?
Does she even know that you have a life outside of work?
Does she know anything about you?

You want to date this chick that you talk to for long periods of time AT WORK, but never have spent time together outside of that... you see where I'm going with this?

I also have a few last questions to make you think and I'll come back to see if you shared all of these answers, yes there will be tests afterwards lol

The questions are...

Do you have her number? and have you created any kind of attraction since talking to her?

Such as you know... flirting, kino or do you not even know how to do that?

Cause you ask about showing, but this is how you SHOW someone that you are interested, this is how you SHOW someone you are a confident person, that you know how to be social, that you aren't in your little box and... THAT YOU ARE FUN TO BE AROUND

Ok I know i got kinda sidetracked, but I just started back replying to these threads on this forum again lol These are also things that all go together so you can't really have one without the other.
IN THE END though... it's all about showing, actions and this is how you should go and do it so hopefully you can get back to some of the questions I asked and also just think about it to yourself of what you want to do, what is best that you probably should be doing and things you could be doing, but aren't

KEEP IN MIND THAT THESE PEOPLE ARE RIGHT... BEST PHONE GAME IS NO PHONE GAME SO QUIT WASTING TIME YOU COULD BE USING TO SHOW HER INSTEAD OF TALKING AWAY ESPECIALLY BECAUSE WOMEN LOVE MYSTERY AND I REALLY, REALLY HOPE YOU AREN'T GIVING OUT THE GOODS ON EVERYTHING ABOUT YOURSELF

Hope this helped... good luck man and REMEMBER the impressions you've made DO MATTER so if you have these long ass conversations and have created no real attraction except being labeled as a friend she talks to when she's bored then you may have just fucked yourself.

And your question about a busy schedule should warrant no contact, one would hope so or that person isn't as busy as they are supposed to be. People have lives so it's natural to be gone a day or two unless you see the person in that schedule even then at times there might be a greeting and that's it... this is something you want to have happen so that you can make each time you see her more meaningful and to make her miss you and think of you more

But I do advise against the whole sex with co-workers.

Thank you, I appreciate your advice. Yeah we are friends outside of work, i have her number and we talk a bit. We are both currently studying and working part time on the side. Its just gotten to that time where all the assignments are due, plus I go to the gym to lift weights, go to another gym and do mma, ive picked up learning to pick locks recently, plus I also enjoy playing video games and reading books.I get what youre saying about leading a busy and attractive lifestyle, but while we may not have that much free time to hang out, a few minutes here and there to reply to a text isnt hard to come by. I feel it would take a concerted effort to really ignore my phone, and find excuses where I didnt have a few minutes to reply.

As for dating a coworker, Ive done it in the past with lots of success. I treat girls I date well, im always straight with who I am and what I want from them and so there never seems to be any hurt feelings or anything. Still, I have one foot out the door at that workplace anyway, as I am looking for full time work as I near the completion of my degree.

As for kino escalation, cocky funny humor etc. I may be a little rusty but Ive still got the basics down pat. There has been some kino at work, but only level one of the ladder as Id rather escalate further when we can manage to schedule a meet up.

This is all in your head. She's not going to analyze the whole situation and find out she's really getting ignored and if she's that obsessed with needing attention every second by just being a friend... she needs mental help.

A lot of people don't live looking at their phone. Some people will take a whole day to even get back to a message. Like you said you have a very busy schedule and I have to say doing all that is boosting your confidence up and congrats on all that too man.

But people who are at work are not staring at their phone. You have to get into habit to make sure that you're not always responding within minutes... at least leave 30 minutes or an hour before responding. You want to leave comments, not have big conversations over text. This is just what I have experienced, basically a lot of times nobody wants someone who is always messaging, always talking, always available (mainly cause you are bringing your Value and Worth down and raising theirs instead). Somehow I have friends that do have their phone on them all the time, but if they don't have it on vibrate or have the sounds on they wont get to my message for a whole day sometimes longer.

Just keep that in mind. You have to push yourself away from the mentality that you have about the phone. The phone can really bring down your game, but if used right can bring it up. You have to realize you aren't even in a relationship, neither of you HAVE TO respond or check in with each other lol

I'm glad you have the basics and remember there is way more to flirting than just being cocky, funny because you have to FLIRT and for some reason not many know how to do that. Hopefully you know what I'm talking about here, there's a lot to learn about all that and that could open doors for you.

Thanks for the reply, I appreciate it. I get what you mean, I have my phone on me all the time but theres no reason I need to check it every 10 minutes. Putting it on vibrate or whatever, or even off sounds like a good idea.

As for flirting I feel like I have a reasonable idea, but who couldnt use some pointers?

I'm always of the mindset that i am going to engage with a woman as deeply and fully as I can each and every time I see her so that she has no choice but to desire to see me again.

I feel the same way about asking a girl for her number upon approaching. why ask for her number just to text her to meet up with her if you're already there with her. Why not gain and give everything you can to the interaction in that moment. Whats the point of talking in person, to talk from a distance, just to talk in person all over again? Never made sense to me. Now if logistics made it so you couldn't thats different. But if the available time is there on either end push everything as far as it can go in the moment.

As far as telling and showing.. I do both. I tell you and I show you. I'm an creative intellectual and express myself often. I do it, but I show you as well, and with my confidence theres no way she won't be receptive. This how you have to think.

When you engage with her properly enough, you won't have to ask her out, she'll be asking you when she can see you again.

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