| Hey guys, so I’ve been dating my current gf since early February. She’s one of the good girl, very sexually reserved, and kind of boring type, but she has had a sky high interest level in me and I enjoy talking to her. We hung out once a week or so for the first couple of months, and the only bad thing was that she wasn’t comfortable doing anything but hand jobs. Whenever I tried to ask her why she didn’t want to give me a blowjob, she’d just say something like “I can’t express it in words.” Obviously this kind of frustrated me a little bit, as I was only trying to help make her more comfortable. I fingered her a couple of times, but that’s really it.
So a couple weeks ago at a party, this other girl was all over me, telling me how she and most girls think I’m “hot as fuck” and how she badly wants to hook up with me. This other girl is almost a complete of my girlfriend. She’s fun to be around and is very comfortable with sex. She kept trying to lean in and kiss me, and although I was very drunk, I was able to push her away. Later I find out from one of her friends that she’s a psycho and has been obsessing over me for a long time.
The following weekend on Friday I go to hangout with my gf. It was a nice date, we chilled by a lake for a while before getting going to get dinner. At the end of it, we started hooking up in my car and I tried to get her to give me a blowjob again. She did the same thing as usual, saying she “can’t express her reason in words” for why she doesn’t do it. Except this time, she added a little bit more on to it. She said “I’ll do it when I’m ready. Definitely not next week.” This made kind of mad. It seemed like she was just pushing it off indefinitely and not communicating to why she didn’t want to do it. If she told me I’m uncomfortable because _______, I would have been fine it because then I could have helped her work through it.
The next day, I’m out with a few friends and the other girl from the party again. Long story short, I end up drinking, and the other girl blows me in her car. It was very sexually satisfying, but I felt bad because I knew it’d really hurt my gf if she found out it happened. I tried to cover it up, but within a week it made it to my girlfriend.
She went through the whole “we need to talk,” so we met up at Starbucks. I denied anything about it to her because I didn’t want her to feel crushed from knowing her boyfriend cheated on her. She believed me, and we hung out afterwards. We got food, hooked up, and it was good.
However, someone later that night told her that I lied to her and that I did cheat on her. They also said that I was just “using her and stringing her along without any intention of bringing her to prom” (this part was not true). So we met again Saturday morning and I told her pretty much everything. Only thing was that I just said me and the other girl “hooked up” thinking that I was just confirming what she knew. We made up, and agreed to continue the relationship.
Later that day, I guess the same person told her I lied again and that the other girl actually blew me. She texted me angrily about how I kept lying and that she was confused whether or not I actually liked her. She said things like
- “Congratulations, you found someone who did what I wouldn’t do”
- “You ruined a really great thing”
- “Stop trying to manipulate me”
- “You keep saying that you regret hooking up with her, but how do you didn’t want to do it”
We talked a lot that night, and I spent a lot of time apologizing and telling her it wouldn’t happen again. I told her that I called the other girl in the morning said to back off.
We meet up the next morning to talk again. I started by saying if she wanted to break up, “I’d walk out the door, drive away, and this will be the last conversation we have in a long time.” She responded with “Wait but I never said I wanted to do that.” She talked about how it’d be hard for her to get over it and that she doesn’t want people to see her as the “crazy gf who stayed with her cheating ex boyfriend.” We just kind of had a normal conversation for a couple hours after that, not about anything relating to this whole situation. It was good, just like nothing happened.
As I was leaving, she said “Wait but we never came to a conclusion.” So I told I was going to assume that we were good to go, and that we would be able to work through this. She just said again how she doesn’t know if she can do that. I left because I had to meet a friend for lunch. In school the next day, my gf and her friend went to talk to/interrogate the other girl. The other girl apologized, said she felt really bad, and told them about how I told her to back off one the phone. My gf/her friend told her to stop telling people and to never do anything like this again.
So that’s kind of where we are at right now. I haven’t really seen or talked to her in school. Do you guys have any opinions on what I should do about this? I can’t tell if she’s going to break up with me or continue the relationship. I was going to text her tonight and set up for this weekend and move on like nothing happened, but I’m not sure how that would go.
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CHAT