I've been doing some reading on Body Language on some sites. So, I just wanted to share with you guys and hope you'll like this thread!
I read on the sites that body language shows alot to another person. If you're insecure then you'll be slumped over, looking at the floor or avoiding eye contact, fidgety or whatever nervous ticks you have.
A confident and secure person will move slowly, hold good eye contact with the group or target, smile and laugh seeming positive, sit up straight and lean forward to show interest, make sure his body language is open and not closed by having his arms and legs open, while relaxing and chilling.
I've been working on my body language more and more. When I noticed I'm doing something that isn't good body language-I immediatley imagine the work stop inside my head and stop whatever I'm doing. It works well when I'm shaking my legs in class! When I do this I stop my legs immediately then open my legs more to show confidence. If I'm noticing that I'm starting to talk in a weak voice-I speak louder.
here are some of the 10 things to improve your body language:
1) Don't cross your legs or arms - why? This is because it will show the other person that you're not confident and uptight!
2) Have good eye contact (don't stare) - It's not a staring contest! Keep good eye contact with a soft look at everyone in the group or the target. It's okay to stare away periodically, just to avoid creeping them out.
3) Take some space up - Don't be afraid to take up some of your room. Lean back in your chair with legs open and arms on a table or bar or whatever. This will make you look more confident and alpha.
4) Be sure to relax your shoulders - Ever get uptight and noticed your shoulders either rising or leaning forward like Montgomery Burns pose? I'm sure some of you have. Sometimes it happens when I'm really into something or stressed out about something my shoulders will lean or whatever. Having relaxed shoulders will make you seem more in a positive mood and plus care-free!
5) Nod once in a while - It's good to nod when someone is talking to show them your interested and also show them you have understanding of what they're telling you. People love to be understood and the more a person feels understood-the more they'll want to talk to you!
6) Don't slough in your seat - Sit up straight and this will make sure you look confident and relaxed. However, don't sit up too straight where it will make you look like your tensed! However, you wanna be relaxed while your sitting up straight!
7) Smile and Laugh - This is very important to show the other person that you're able to take a joke or laugh at your own mistakes! Notice people that are serious that they don't laugh at anything, or they'll give a nervous laugh out. At work I noticed that sometimes with some people.
It's good to lean inward sometimes - However, when you do this to the extreme this will make you look needy and desperate. Leaning forward while talking with someone will show the person you're interested in talking with them or what they have to say.
9) Don't touch your face - Ever notice that people when nervous will often touch their face? It's a nervous tick and they sometimes can't control it-however in practice then you'll soon be able to control the nervous ticks. When you touch your face it shows that you're insecure about yourself and unsure what you're talking about or feeling at least!
10) Head up straight - Keep your head up straight and don't look down. Along time ago I use to look down when I would walk to somewhere. Why? I didn't have enough confidence in myself to look forward as I walked. Looking down only shows your insecure and weak. this isn't an attractive quality. I remember my last girlfriend told me I wasn't a real man-that I was weak and needy. It devastated me for a month.
11) Slow your pace abit - Don't walk to fast because it will make you look uptight! However, it's good to walk slower than normal because it will not only show you have confidence and are cool-however it will make you seem Alpha rather than Beta. If someone calls out your name-just slowly turn your head in their direction; don't snap your neck in their direction because it will make you look desperate and needy.
12) Don't be so fidgety - If you notice yourself shaking your legs, or tapping on the table with your hands. This is very bad because it shows you that your nervous and insecure about something. It also will distract the other person that's talking to you and make them annoyed.
13) Use hand gestures - I use this alot when I'm communicating with someone. They say most italians use their hands but I think people in general use their hands to non-verbally commincate something they wanna make a point on. This will allow you not to be so fidgety and use your hands for whatever.
14) Have your drink to your side - Having your drink to your chest will show that you're not confident and insecure; also guarded and distant. I do this when drinking a can of pop when I'm walking through my day SPAM. I noticed I'm doing it and I put it on my side; just so I can have better body language.
15) Align your spine better - Many people think that they're spine ends at their neck, however it doesn't because it ends at the back of the skull. Sitting up straight with their necks not sticking forward will make them seem more in control and confident.
16) Have good space - Make sure you're not invading someone's personal boundaries. It's better to stand beside the person to use kino rather than infront of them and close. This will only make it seem confrontational and invasive. Standing by the person's side or feet away from the person and head towards the person-will make them feel more at ease.
17) Mirroring - Mirroring is a NLP technique that builds up rapport with the other person. It makes them feel more connected and build up comfort. Unconsciously people will naturally do this when feeling a real good connection. This will show that you have a good understanding of the other person, however don't over do this by mimicing every body movement the other person does. If the girl puts her leg on her thigh, place your hand on your thigh. If the girl plays with her head or rubs the back of her neck, rub the back of your neck. This will also show subconsciously IOI's as well.
18) Keep a postive mood\attitude - This will help you be relaxed and more in control. It will also make you seem like you're a good person to be around. LIke they say positive attracts positive, negative attracts negative. If you want positive people in your life then make sure your BL is opened and you're relaxed and content.
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Edited by XFMAN
(Ace of Spades wrote:)
Great post Stealth. I've been reading your stuff for a while and as far as my perception goes, you're improving really fucking fast! Props up.
I'd add a few of my own here. 19) answers this question:
Quote:
Hey great read man. Short question. If you're standing up, where do you put your hands if you don't cross them or put them in your pocket.
Salsa dancers are taught to touch the tips of their index and middle fingers to their thumbs when their hands are by their side. Your pinkie and your ring fingers should touch the inside of your hand, although some people keep them only slightly bent. David DeAngelo is a great example of that.
20) When you touch someone's elbow, you show dominance - it's something a psychology student I was sarging mentioned once. It threw me off balance for a second, but she followed with 'Hang on, I never said I didn't like it!'
21) When two people shake hands, observe carefully whose hand is on top. Dominant people usually have the inside of their palm facing downwards.
22) When shaking someone's hand, shift your right shoulder backwards a little while moving the left one forwards. It sends the suble 'follow me' signal (it will make sense once you try it out). The first time I heard about that I thought 'BULLSHIT!!' but I noticed a few attractive guys doing it - and I've adapted it for myself.
23) Once you've locked in (after the 'talking over your shoulder' part), observe who your body is facing. If it's the target, I usually reorient immediately and face the obstacles, even when I'm talking to the target.
That's about it. Stealth, again - props up. You've earned a rep point Wink
Here are some of the good sites to go to:
http://www.becomeaplayer.com
http://www.seductionbase.com
http://www.puatraining.com
http://www.fastseduction.com
First part wrote by Stealth, second part wrote by Ace of Spades
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