Meeting a girl I met online tonight I would she's about a 9 out 10 attractiveness, very attractive and has a good job, Im really worried how I'm gonna impress this girl I still live at home with my parents due to my financial situation. I need to pull all the stops out tonight. Anyone got any advice? What kind of conversation starters should I use? Taking her out for drinks, I don't usually get a second date so my track record is bad. I'm approaching 30 and want to put in my best performance. How do I get her interested? Most girls who meet me get bored straight away.

I just want to make clear I never escalate as I'm too nervous. How do I go about doing it? I've read you need to start touching them but I'm not good at this I would be very obvious and ruin it. Any help how to escalate for a total beginner like me?

Accept you may not get this girl
Try something new like touching her
Try some new conversation topics
Try other new stuff
Go back online, set up other dates and do the same.
After a while you'll figure out how to have a date
When the next 9 or 10 comes along you'll be ready

My point is practice

Thanks for the advice, I think I just get nervous the thought of touching her and her rejecting me or storming off scares me.

How would I touch her in a bar? How do I get from just meeting her for the first time in a bar to touching her? You can tell I'm clueless. Doesn't the girl have to gives you signs of interest before I can kino?

Moose - there are about a thousand threads on escalation here. Try the search function.

Google "Vin DiCarlo's Escalation Ladder"

That's a coles notes version of what you should do and how you should do it.

I know this is after your date but it might be good advice for next time...if you don't usually get a second date is it because you always go for drinks on the first date? If you're having trouble with conversation starters then drinks at a bar will not help you as there are no outside factors that can give you topics to talk about, and can sometimes seem like a job interview when people are struggling to talk. Instead go on a date where you're not just sitting across from each other...go to a museum where the pressure is off the both of you and if there are quiet moments you can observe something around you without it being awkward. This can also open up plenty of topics as you can talk about the exhibits in front of you and is less pressurized than a simple one on one conversation. Or how about bowling or mini golf? Something fun and a bit different where you can even lead to touching without it being awkward. Once you've got the conversation going, then head to a bar and continue your natural escalation....

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The meaning of life is not simply to exist, to survive. But to move ahead, to go up, to conquer.... - Arnold Schwarzenegger

Well the conversation flowed fine and I thought we got on quite well. We were sitting across from each other so there wasn't much chance of escalation. After the drinks finished I walked her Half way home, although it felt a bit awkward as I don't think she wanted me to walk her.

I texted her when I got back saying I had a really good night and was sorry about walking her home. She said it was nice meeting me tonight and she was only worried because I walked her so far away it would mean I would have far to walk back. We ended up hugging at the end and I said to her if she would like to meet again and she said yes.

I'm a bit worried I didn't kiss her but it would have been awkward if I did and not the right moment. My question is how do I set up the second date? And what are good second date ideas? Bearing in mind I went for drinks first time. Bowling, cinema, dinner? What is a good idea?

I have to be honest this girl is perfect for me she is stunning, clever and really funny.

Thanks.

That's good that it went well for the first date mate!

Firstly don't apologise for things like walking her home, be confident in your actions you were looking out for her there's nothing wrong with that! Be careful not to come across as too needy as well.

For the second date I would really try something fun, something that gets you both laughing and in a good mood, perhaps go to a fair / carnival etc if possible? If not bowling should be good as well. You mentioned you struggle with escalating etc. Do simple things when you're both laughing just put your hand on her harm. You might want to whisper a joke to her or something when you do put your hand on her shoulder, just do these subtle things and you'll eventually feel more comfortable and be able to escalate more. Before you part look at her in eyes and say you had a great time, glance at her lips, smile and kiss her it's not a huge deal man it's natural!

Good luck!

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Tempus neminem manet - Time waits for no one

Thanks for the advice you don't think I've messed it up not kissing her? Yeah bowling might be a good shout. I was also thinking the Cinema as it might be easier to escalate there. I just get really nervous and screw it up. I really wante to kiss her but was so nervous and problem is if you kiss her and she rejects you on the first date it's awkward after that. If I do get a second date I would definitely try to kiss her and escalate more since we kind of known each other.

Is it ok to ask her for a second date straight away? I know she's on holiday this weekend and won't be back till mid week next week. So if I want to see her would have to ask her in advance.

No if you had messed it up she would have stopped speaking to you or wouldn't have seem interested to meet up again. I'd go with bowling so you can continue to improve your connection and feel more comfortable around each other, Cinema is generally more for when you're already comfortable with someone....as let's be honest you probably won't end up watching most of the movie . You need to be confident man remember she's on the date for the same reason you are she wants something, be confident that she's into you and wants to kiss you and go for it!

If you ask her in advance don't be needy just say 'let's catch up when you're back and you can tell me all about how much trouble you got in while you were away' then when she's back then ask her and set a time.

Good luck and report back how you go!

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Tempus neminem manet - Time waits for no one