Taking girls home, but not being able to close them...



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PostPosted: Sun Aug 10, 2014 1:27 pm 
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Hej guys,

I'm new here, just got out of 4 year relationship and slowly trying to become a good PUA.

The last 2 weeks I was able to bring home 2 girls, both ok looking (nothing gorgeous) but anyway...

In both situations I was able to get the girl to my place, kiss and cuddle but not able to have sex with them.
They both brought up that they don't want to do one night stands and blabla... and so we end up just lying in bed falling asleep together...

I used the whole cocky/funny act to bring them home, which kinda worked for me. Then back home I initiated the kiss... I really give the impression that I just want a one night stand... I'm not interested in getting these girls thinking about serious stuff with me...

So, what do you guys think I'm doing wrong?
Is this just bad luck and did I encounter 2 girls who aren't just really not in the one night stand thing? But then why did they went home with me (it was obvious that i just wanted sex).
Or did I not do the right things to convince them in having sex with me? And is there a way in doing this without giving them the impression that I want something serious?


Any help is more then welcome.

Thx


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PostPosted: Sun Aug 10, 2014 1:51 pm 
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Welcome!

First things first, this isn't a field report, so I am moving this thread to the General Questions board.

Second, what you encountered is what we call "Last Minute Resistance" or LMR for short. LMR is a really common problem that a lot of guys run into because slut-shaming exists and so women have lots of reasons to not come off as "easy."

There are many ways to combat LMR, but I've found that it's better to prevent it head-on. After all, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure, right?

You can prevent LMR by preemptively feeding their objections right back at them BEFORE things get too hot and heavy. Take away their chance to say "I don't think we should have sex because it's too soon" by saying it yourself! Say something along those lines while you're making out or what have you. They'll feel more at ease because you will have lowered their Anti-Slut Defense (ASD). This will also often result in more sexual tension that causes the women to actually be more proactive and aggressive about sleeping with you.

Something you can also do even before you get to the bedroom is to say other things that will lower her ASD around you overall. For example, you can express sex-positive feminist views during conversation, or even subcommunicate and demonstrate that you're great at keeping secrets.

If you like this kind of advice, you'll also be interested in my new upcoming ebook, Attraction Arsenal. You'll find a link to it in my forum signature very soon!


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 12, 2014 1:33 am 
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I think the girls were more into each other than you. You might have brought home a pair of lesbians :shock:


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 12, 2014 8:16 am 
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that's so many details here can ruin your chance.

but i think the major one is they didnt see you as a hookup material. or else they already 'eat' you..

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PostPosted: Tue Sep 09, 2014 7:50 am 
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Joined: Sun Aug 10, 2014 1:08 pm
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Quote:
Welcome!

First things first, this isn't a field report, so I am moving this thread to the General Questions board.

Second, what you encountered is what we call "Last Minute Resistance" or LMR for short. LMR is a really common problem that a lot of guys run into because slut-shaming exists and so women have lots of reasons to not come off as "easy."

There are many ways to combat LMR, but I've found that it's better to prevent it head-on. After all, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure, right?

You can prevent LMR by preemptively feeding their objections right back at them BEFORE things get too hot and heavy. Take away their chance to say "I don't think we should have sex because it's too soon" by saying it yourself! Say something along those lines while you're making out or what have you. They'll feel more at ease because you will have lowered their Anti-Slut Defense (ASD). This will also often result in more sexual tension that causes the women to actually be more proactive and aggressive about sleeping with you.

Something you can also do even before you get to the bedroom is to say other things that will lower her ASD around you overall. For example, you can express sex-positive feminist views during conversation, or even subcommunicate and demonstrate that you're great at keeping secrets.

If you like this kind of advice, you'll also be interested in my new upcoming ebook, Attraction Arsenal. You'll find a link to it in my forum signature very soon!
Tnx for the excellent advice Chief, I did some read up on LMR and am already making progress. Just bought your E-book too, very curious what that will bring ;)


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 09, 2014 10:46 am 
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Quote:
I think the girls were more into each other than you. You might have brought home a pair of lesbians :shock:
I also thought that at first, until I realized he meant TWO girls on TWO DIFFERENT nights. I was already being like "daaaamn! Guy's just trying to get a little bit better at PUA, so he begins by bringing two girls home at once"!

Anyway, what Chief said. Those are all good preemptive methods to make sure LMR doesn't even come up, and that's for the best.

If fpr whatever reason you still get LMR , what you can try is the so called "freeze-out". If she says she doesn't want to do anything, just act completely undifferent. Just be like "alright, I understand". Go play with your cell phone. Check your emails. Don't be nasty to her, but genuinely don't care about it. Deflate the beautiful situation you had going on and she should want it back and continue escalating.

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PostPosted: Tue Sep 09, 2014 1:36 pm 
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They went home with you for sex, but you didn't secure them in the fact that you wouldn't consider them a whore if they slept with you on the first night.

When a girl gives me the anti slut defense I just talk to them about it.


They'll say.. " I don't want you to think I'm a whore" - I say " Are you going to see me as a whore if I sleep with you on the first night? ".. "so why would I see you as one".

Anything they give you just feed it right back to them. That'll establish the feel that you guys feel the same way about the situation. That works for me 9 times out of 10.

But what you have to do is ramp up on your sexuality. Sounds like there was a dead spot somewhere; maybe on the drive home? Keep them hot the entire time. Rub there legs when their in the passenger seat. Make them kiss you at every red light. Play in between their legs a bit. Just keep the sexual energy high so the dirty work is done before you get to your house.

Foreplay starts in the car.

Good to see you getting out there though man.

Much love.

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PostPosted: Tue Sep 09, 2014 7:21 pm 
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^ this. My first night stand was just like that. Just talk to her about why she feels that. Continue to light touch her while talking. Good luck!


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PostPosted: Wed Sep 10, 2014 2:33 pm 
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Thank you guys for your advice, what happened definitely makes sense to me now.
Quote:
Quote:
I think the girls were more into each other than you. You might have brought home a pair of lesbians :shock:
I also thought that at first, until I realized he meant TWO girls on TWO DIFFERENT nights. I was already being like "daaaamn! Guy's just trying to get a little bit better at PUA, so he begins by bringing two girls home at once"!
Haha, well definitely on my bucket list but I better have some serious A-game by then ;)


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