how to fix bad first impression?



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PostPosted: Wed May 28, 2014 3:30 am 
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Joined: Fri Jul 29, 2011 3:51 am
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they say first impressions are everything. well, I had a bad one and I am wondering if I could fix it.

I have a virtual office and I go there every couple of days to pick up my mail. the girl that works as a front desk receptionist keeps changing because I guess the boss is an ass and nobody can survive.
recently, this new girl has started working there and for the past couple of weeks, every time I go I just tell her hi and go to the back to get my mail. Today I finally grew some balls and started talking to her, but the conversation was too boring. I asked these questions, in the same order: "what time do you get off work?" "what's your name?" "how do you spell your name?" "where are you from?" "where are your parents from?" when she told me where her parents are from, I said bye and left because I was too nervous. But it looked like I am a racist and I left because I found out her ethnicity.

The other thing is, a few weeks ago I told the girl who works in the back "the new girl is hot" and she said "she doesn't have a boyfriend, go talk to her." I know the girl who works in the back well enough to know that she doesn't keep secrets. I have a strong feeling she told her.

Another thing is, I am leaving this place in a couple of days so I guess if I am to do anything with this girl, it has to be the next couple of days.

Last thing, the office environment. I just find it hard to do anything. sometimes the boss is there and the girl is probably stressed, and you have clients coming in, and you have all the constant phone calls, It's too unpredictable.

given my story, what do you recommend that I do?

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PostPosted: Wed May 28, 2014 8:26 am 
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Joined: Thu Aug 09, 2012 9:06 am
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Location: Gothenburg, Sweden
Even if your initial conversation was boring, most of your issues (the bad impression you made) are probably ghosts in your head. There is nothing to repair, just do better next time you talk to her!

About that reputation you've spread, that you think the girl is hot, is great! It's not a mistake you've made, it's in fact what I would call good game, if you can follow it up correctly! As the receptionist hears about this, she will be more vigilant and curious. But if you don't show any special interest in her other than being nice and curious about her, she will start wondering whether the rumors are true. You need to keep talking to her to make sure she starts thinking about you (you need to be in her mind), but not showing any interest in the beginning. This will hopefully make her frustrated, because she still doesn't know whether the rumors are true, and she has to find out... And you have probably guessed it by now - she will start chasing you, at least a little.

As always with real time constraints, you can use it as an excuse to be more direct. Invite her to something fun, a party or something.


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PostPosted: Wed May 28, 2014 8:44 am 
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Joined: Mon May 12, 2014 9:17 pm
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I don't think you've made a bad impression either. I'd say share a laugh with her over something, then show some kind of non friendly interest tell her she's cute/looks nice, then ask her out. Whole thing should only take a few minutes.


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