I'm chatting to this girl, we argue a bit when we first met but she gave me her FB. Barely know her but in one of the first few fb messages she says she's upset because she saw a status she wrote a year ago about her dad passing away and how hard it was... I didn't wanna be all like 'aww that's horrible you're really tough' and pamper her but how do you tease them about a dead parent? I just said something like 'that's shit' and changed the subject.

If it comes up again how do I deal with in a way that isn't:
(a) too AFC (trying really hard to cheer her up and pampering to her)
(b) too rude/dismissive where I ignore the question or tease her too much about it

I don't want to chat about this with a girl I just met, I just want to get off with her.

There's a bit more to it but that's the gist. Cheers as always

You do what you did. Tell her you are sorry then change the topic to something more cheerful.

But just to let you know trying hard to cheer her up is not afc. It's called caring about people in general.

I was just about to say the same things as zealot - cheering someone up is not being AFC, it's caring about people. However, it is a little bit too much to ask from a stranger (you) to care that much about one's personal issues.

As you probably know about pickup, it's all about making a good impression. You can't start complaining about all your problems the first thing you do. That is definitely not attractive and will make the girl loose interest in you. So let's turn the tables and point out the fact that this is exactly what she is doing to you. Now ask yourself, why on earth are you still interested in her?

Thanks guys. I think just getting off the topic worked. I see what you're saying about cheering up not necessarily being a bad thing, but she's already got a whole load of people commenting on her FB things saying how strong she is, how bad they feel for her, etc. Don't wanna join the pampering crowd. But if I can just keep away from the topic I don't see it being a prob

she hardly knows you and is telling you that...if she brings it up again shes a head case....with daddy issues.

do whatever you can to get into that, its gonna be quite a ride.