Thank you for taking the time to read this. I have an issue with a toxic former friend of mine.... It all started with my last relationship, I was AFC-loser, oneitis... about 3 years ago.

Spent two years really fighting my inner-demons and changing my life, OWNING my unique identity, learning how to say no, how to walk away from toxic people, having a real sense of self-confidence and not a house of cards built upon self-lies.

There's a core of some people I've severely cut out of my life. Completely toxic. I'm having an issue with one especially and I would appreciate your insights....

This guy I've been friends with since junior high (I'm 29 now) I took to work for 8 years.... never paid shit for gas money (zero-gratitude). Well, the girl I dated was his ex, from 6 years before. He was living with someone he planned to marry, and I asked him if he was okay with it anyways because I felt it was the right thing to do. He said go for it. Well, oneitis-time bomb....

Fastforward to recently. End of February she's sending me a message on facebook. In the past, it would of had me being extremely kind/ emotionally supportive/etc.... had a line of excuses to why she didn't answer when I called a year prior that also explained why she didn't call back otherwise. I saw thru it. Told her I have nothing to offer her anymore. Within 2 days she dating my toxic friend.

She has BPD, I've endured enough of her games and anger to understand that. My toxic former friend, histrionic to the letter. When I was dating her, and driving him to work, he would often (2 days out of 3) talk about all the sex he used to have with her, and that bothered me.

Recently, out of no where as I hadn't heard from him in atleast 8 months, he wants me to hang out with him. You'd have to know him, but he's clearly trying to "taunt" me about it, like he got her and I didn't because he knows how broken I was after I dated her. I think it's because he feels threatened by me? When I told him I'm not speaking with his girlfriend his jaw almost hit the floor, he didn't know. He bullshitted about just me and him grabbing a drink sometime, but still hasn't gotten with me.

Either way, I have to see him at the end of work everyday now (he's on the next shift). When they first started dating, he completely ignored me everyday. Its been about 2 months, and now he comes and talks to me, or says hi everyday like I'm still his awesome friend. I don't enjoy being kind, or nice to him, because I have zero-respect for him or his actions.

Should I ignore him entirely? I don't want to give the impression I like him at all, I don't. Wouldn't hiding that be... "fake"? I don't want him to say shit to me. Or do I need to tell him bluntly that I don't respect him? Or just to leave me alone? I feel like he's always trying to "taunt" me while pretending that we are friends. What should I do?

You need to cut both of these wackos out of your life 100 percent, immediately. No contact whatsoever.

I would tell him that I have no respect for him because of his actions and that he could go and burn in hell. Then ignore him.

Hey mate I've had similar situations not to this extent. The best thing to do is not react in anger you see him simple nod when he says hi just don't iniate and if he calls or txts don't answer if he calls you on it in person just tell him you're busy with whatever aswesomeness you have going on in your life and turn around and walk away. Reacting in anger makes you look weak you're the bigger better man that's happy with yourself and you're not gonna let that loser bring you down. Be strong in the way you carry yourself. And don't let losers like that bother you. Sounds like some contact with him is inevitable be strong when it happens and just don't iniate it. Hope that helps good luck!!

yes. just that. don't waste your energies with someone who doesn't deserve it. also, you don't want to waste your lifetime explaining things to someone that probably isn't going to understand what you'll say.
just ignore completely and move on.

an update.... I haven't had to do ANYTHING

the day I wrote that, I completely ignored him. It was from about 50 feet away but he shouted my nickname a couple times, I never stopped working (my back was to him). Had zero-reaction.

Haven't seen him since, no idea why. He stopped coming in so early, or goes to his area around the other side where I wouldn't be in a position to see him.

This has brought me peace of mind, thank you so much for your comments

Hey man,

Be a man about this.

Don't take that immature ignore him route.

Just go up to him and let him know that you would appreciate it if you guys just stopped talking. Thank him for the friendship he did provide, and then let him know that its best that you guys go your separate ways. He'll respect you 100x more if you confront him as apposed to running away. Be a man, not a lil kid.

Peace & Love

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A big nod to this guy. He obviously knows his stuff. If nothing else, confronting him will make his respect you, and you'll be able to respect yourself.

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The ultimate lesson of psychoanalysis is that human life is never "just life": we are possessed by the strange drive to enjoy life in excess, attached to a surplus which derails the ordinary run of things.
-Slavoj Zizek

I understand the importance of confronting him as opposed to ignoring him. If I see him I will do it, your reasoning makes sense to me. If it's not confronted, and ignored, it can still become an issue at some point. Confronting this, ends it.

I like your gameplan here.... tell him its best we stop talking, thank him for our past friendship, and tell him I think its best if we go our separate ways in life.

Thank you for your guidance. My personal drive is this.... The actions I take MUST be the best solution for respecting myself. And to respect myself, I need to act in my best interests, without being malevolent with someone else's emotions/state of mind. That's been my main goal from the outset

I agree you should cut the ties

And when he doesn't let it go?

Dont listen to guys who insist on confrontation. You work together. Confrontation is what kids do, because they want to get the last word in. Ignoring isn't immature, it's intelligent.

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These hos ain't loyal

This. By confrontation we don't mean to rip his head off or shout. Just let him know where you stand. This will also give you closure and you won't give a fuck about it anymore. Otherwise if you ignore him you might end up not meeting him for a while but when you accidentally do it will be very awkward.
One more thing. Don't date a girl your friend/ex friend/dad etc. used to date. You know this by now anyway though