I have a problem. At some point in any conversation I like to find out more about the girl and perhaps ask "so what are you into?" Most girls give the general, "oh I like to hangout with friends, see movies, etc." and I suppose most would return the question. This is where the problem comes. I'm tremendously passionate about music and am currently taking lessons and a music academy (I suppose I'm kind of at intermediate level, not professional by any means) but I don't know if I should tell them that. Should I just say "oh yeah I like to hang out with friends, play a bit of basketball" or should I talk about my passion for music? I'm afraid if I do I'll sound pretentious. I suppose it's how you say it. Anyway I'm proud of the fact that I'm at the academy and have this passion, but I'm not sure if it's best to reveal that in a first time conversation. It's like I don't know how to deal with the topic. Is it even a good idea to ask girls what they like doing?

Thanks for all the support out there

Yeah it is ok to ask this, but i would say it more like 'so what are you really passionate about, whats your thing'. 'just that, what else?' or 'if you had to describe yourself by three things what would they be?'
Tell her more than the music thing, variety is key, mix it up alittle, but dont give everything about yourself away. I always pass on womens questions and not tell them things, and they (some) love it when i get all mysterious on them. They cant work out whether im a secret agent or a male escort.

_________________
To effectively communicate, we must realise that we are all different in the way we percieve the world and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others.

hey I appreciate your comment. Just got another question though. You suggested I ask something like "so what are you really passionate about, whats your thing" instead, but doesn't that kind of imply that I'm really passionate about something and want them to ask me about it? Doesn't it come off as like I'm trying to get a chance to talk about ME?

Also what if she's not passionate about anything? If she just likes movies and likes to hang out with friends, that'll just put her down, and it's not like I'm negging her, it's like a bad put down.

I could me completely wrong here, and am still learning, further posts appreciated.

Firstly, no i would'nt see it that way. Just try not to accross as bragging but its ok so tell her what your passionate about and what your ambitions are. Those where just two examples, but if she cant answer th Q. just make it alil easier like 'come on what do you really like doin?' And if she cant come up with much, yeh its abit like neggin herself and giving you higher vaule. Just make her comfortable & relax yourself, then the conversation should just flow. I take it this is a first date your talkin?

_________________
To effectively communicate, we must realise that we are all different in the way we percieve the world and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others.

Once shes finished and you have sucked the info out of her you were looking for to make bright conversation. Get her thinking, talking about something see really likes, then you will be able to carry on from there because she gave you a few subjects to talk about. 'omg its funny you should mention that...'. Then when or if it comes to your turn if it makes you feel any better 'right, now my turn, god, give me a second' then shoot. Just dont overdo it unless have her hooked. It doesn't even have to be true.

_________________
To effectively communicate, we must realise that we are all different in the way we percieve the world and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others.

Im on my mobile at v mo, so i can only write so much.

Here's a few crappy examples:

HB: i really like ice skating, one time i was skating in...
M: omg i've been there too
bam connection
M: did you go to/see...
HB: yeah
bam another connection

M: so hows your day been?
HB: i was driving down thingy bob street today and my car broke down, but a man...

3 things in there that give you chance to carry it on

Its doesn't really matter what you talk about as long as its good conversation. But keep it positive.

_________________
To effectively communicate, we must realise that we are all different in the way we percieve the world and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others.

If she isn't passionate about anything, forget her, she'll bore the shit out of you quickly anyway, who isn't passionate about anything? She might just be nervous, but if she says nothing just give her something like, o yea, that must be boring, etc. I hate when it comes up, what are you into and someone says "having fun". No shit! I am the exact opposite I love to be miserable?

i wouldn't say "come on what do you really like doin?" because it seems to needy of her response, i would rather relate something to myself to make her more comfortable, then rephrase the question

heres an example:

you: so what are you passionate about?
her: I don't know....
you: yeah cool, a person asked me something like this the other day, and i was like uhhhhhhhhh, but then i thought about it for a minute, and i remembered, i told him i love music. theres so many moods music can trigger in your mind, its almost unbelievable.
you: So what things do you find interesting and enjoy with a passion?
her: well...i like writing poetry
you: WOW! You have to tell me one of your poems! (after poem you reward her)

and so on..................

Well ofcourse its ok to ask these questions
but it should come in the right phase and thats the qualifying phase where you qualify the girl.

what I like to do it throw in a neg when asking this question , for example:

"so tell me when you were a kid did you dream of becoming what you are right now ? "

and here is when the neg comes :

" I bet you wanted to be like a school teacher or a nurse , you like the the type ..."

her:" what do you mean 'the type'?

me:" you see there is three type of people :
a- the A type
b- the B type
c- The C type

Now the C type makes a bad judgement in their life and never learn
the B type which I think you are makes a bad judgment and learns "


you stay quiet ....... she will diffinetly ask you whats the A type


and you say:" that the type I recon myself with the most , the one who never makes a bad judgement and learns from others "




I like this DHV spike its really amazing

Joker your example doesn't differ from mine much at all. Except you ask her what she is passionate about twice and throw in intrests.
I was suggesting just to change the question abit cus she might respond better without the word passionate and use another word.
Come on is just part of my vocab, said more like cam on. I wont change it for no woman. I dont expect people to go word for word with my examples, thats all they are an example.
Also its not always good to over analyse, just let the convo flow.

_________________
To effectively communicate, we must realise that we are all different in the way we percieve the world and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others.

good pointers guys, appreciate them.