Ok, here´s the situation:

There´s this girl I´ve been talking for a while via email, MSN and sometimes, personally. We ask ourselfs how we are doing, what we are doing and trivial stuff. I asked her out to a cup of coffe or something like that and she said she´s kinda busy right now due her monography, but she will after all is over. Not a good sign, eh?

Last monday she sent me an email telling me she was robbed and she was pretty scared about it. I don´t know her that well, so I tried to "be there for her" or "you can count on me". I think I overdid that, because I told her to call me (or I could call if she couldnt´t), gave my numbers so she could tell me about it, to relive that from herself.

After that, she sends me an e-mail, saying "Thanks, but I dont want to talk about... I talked about that with enough people. Why are you always so nice to me?!"

That last phrase ripped my "FRIEND ALARM ZONE", so in order to try to revert that saying "Well, you gotta go out with me to find out".

I know some of you will probably tell me "Dood, move on. There´s alot of fishes in the ocean.", but what would you make of this? What are the mistakes and what would you do or would have done in my position?

Thx alot!

Can I ask you a question?

Are you using PUA to conceal your identity? Are you not confident with who you are as a person? Is there someone who is telling you that you are not good enough? Or has your past experience alone led you to believe this?

Sorry to be so "opera" but I'm trying to figure something out, and I could use your help.

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Walk Hard

i think you came on a little too strong with the nice stuff, she has every reason to ask you "why?".

move on isnt what you want to hear, but....
if you dont you'll only have a harder time trying to change her mental image of the kind of guy you are(or want her to see you as)

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que sara sare, LET THAT SHIT RIDE

...it's very unconfident of you to talk like that and a very blurry SUPER polite answer from her
..it was too nice and casual to begin with, I'm not saying this can't work, but it's going to be dull slow and casual

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"StreetLight!! Stop seeing every problem in life like it's a chick you didn't hit on!"

IT IS CALLED READ SOMETHING!!!!!! Jesus, all these dudes whining on here about the same shit, and haven't invested ANY time in trying to actually learn the process of picking up women. How about you stop talking to this chick for about 6 months and gain some command over what the fuck the method is for talking to girls. Mmmmmmmkay? Then you might not come off like such a creeper.

Hey all, thx for replying. I´m trying to see my mistakes better so I can improve and try to learn the methods. I´ve been reading Mystery Method for some time now and some ideas are coming up in what I was doing wrong and such. The idea of putting this situation here was really to begin a discussion, to see what needs to be adjusted or so.

And Jack, my friend, I didn´t complain about anything : )

I know I am wrong, I just wanted some insight where. A pratical example of what I am reading in the books, get it?

But surely, I won't talk to the girl for a long time, she´s probably hitting the delete button in those social media programs right now.

Probably the "Forget and move on" advice seems the best right now, since I don´t have any game developed for now.

If you had actually read any of the mystery method you would of been able to answer your own question, because trust me, since I've read it, it is in the book.

True. I just got past the part he said "Good dog, here´s a bone". Oh well, shit happens.

Btw, u seem to be a player already. What method u like better?

Fuck, you guys are probably gonna curse me alot, but...

I was in the mall today with a friend of mine, going to lunch. So we were deciding where to eat, and I was checking my cellphone for a mensage that just arrived. Just was I strt reading the mensage, I hear someone calling my name.

When I look out to see who it is, it´s the same girl I sent the e-mail, the one I was telling you guys about it in this topic. So the comes up to me, gives me a a hug nd a cheeck kiss and introduce me to her mother. I could see turned red and had this big smile at the moment.

So I stayed pretty calm, introduced my friend, just talked to her mother (mainly), asking what were they doing in the mall and if they could suggest any place to eat. It was a fast chat because we were kinda in hurry and we could see her mother was too.

So we said goodbye, she hugs a cheek kisses me again and we set ways.

I might be wrong, but this probably means shit and I´m making butteflies in my head for nothing. What do u think?


(gotta hate to be an AFC).

Probably I already answered my question and should move on to the next target...

Sounds like she thinks you're gay, and as to what method I prefer? None. I have read a lot of everything, and all of it has it's applications. The main focus is being able to calibrate yourself socially, the vehicle doesn't matter.

OK dude because you are so nice to me I am going to reply to you. (if you are a virgin who can't get women then maybe my advice isn't for you. I am attractive and sexual. My advice gears more towards life, and less towards pickup)

A decent girl who has a good head on her shoulders doesn't want to be used for sex. If she puts you in the friend zone it doesn't mean that you are not worthy of her love. Sure she might not feel a romantic connection towards you, but you don't have to remove her from your life. You just have to learn not to fall for every girl that comes into your life. That's what YOU need to work on - your thoughts and imagination.

As far as seeing her mother at the Mall. Thats a great way to get in with a girl. But you are in the friend zone. Don't try to fight it. Don't ask not to be in the friend zone. Just experience life for what it is, and go with the flow. Be cool and live in the moment. Just allow your experience to be your experience. Don't try to control it. That will come off and won't allow you to be who you really are.

You have to be willing and OK with being in the friend zone. If you try to fight it off you are just thinking about staying out of the friend zone. And if all you are thinking about is staying out of the friend zone then you are not living in the moment. And relationships with women tend to gravitate around living in the moment and being comfortable with who you are, and trusting your environment without being a paranoid loser pickup-artist who controls every interaction because he doesn't feel comfortable with who he is.

Live in the moment brother. Stop fighting what you can't control. Be who you are, and women will gravitate to you with such a force you won't know what to do. After that happens you just continue living. Thats the guidance you need. You have to live your life fully and completely. Stop trying to maniuplate women to sleep with you. It will only lead you to place of infinite sex.

That might sound good at first, but believe me. It doesn't bring satisfication. You can get the same thing for 50 bucks every night from a hooker. It is the same feeling.

Live your life and as your enviroment provides opportunities for you, you can act upon them. You can create opportunites as well, but do them for yourself. Be creative in what you want out of life. Don't worry about doing the "right" thing in order to get with the girl. It won't work. Do what you enjoy. And if you don't enjoy anything. Then start living your life. Not only for the pursuit of women, but also to grow and become a better, more cultured person.

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Walk Hard

holy fuck, I gotta say that was the best advice I ever got!

Tho I am not a virgin and I can get to women quite easy, the main purpose I started to study pick up art is that I want a better quality of women (and I´m not really talking only about beauty, but someone who has a strait head, not some needy lunatic). And really... I´ve been in the "infinite sex" part, and sex became something... trivial. The main idea of PUA, to me, is to be able to attract someone I really like, instead of settleing with someone I "kinda" think it's ok to be with (most of my GFs and cases were like that).

But the idea of living life, as you said, really hits the spot. To be very honest with you, I am actually living life recently. I´m doing stuff I actually like, starting courses on stuff I had curiosity, such as saloon dancing (and I´m not doing it for PUA, I´m actually enoying it).

I had a hard time at my childhood due my parents and some early violence on my life, so I became very scared of social interation. I even decided to start resorting to the "Don´t fuck with me sterotype" and start walking with gangs, doing stupid things, which ended up creating a worse social fobia and a harsh way of life.

Nowdays I´m much better and I can actually talk to plp without thinking "Those son of a bitches will try something on me soon.", tho I do feel very defensive.

Another big problem is that I am starting to really define my personality now.. I just have some traces that I am figuring out what to do. But I belive that, with time (and some therapy, hehe) I can get things in order.

I think the best part of your advice is "live your life". Go with it, be more easy-going. I really can't thank you enough for a simple, but very direct suggestion.

Thx alot, magnum.

I understand and want the same thing - a girl better than I have ever been. I want a girl who can bring me up. And I too, have turned to PUA to solve my problems. I am lucky enough to have a childhood female friend supporting me like a sister/mother because I have no advisors in my family.

I am desperate to pull a girl into my life that is “better” than me. I believe if this girl comes into my life she will magically solve my problems. She will fill my heart with love and acceptance. Unfortunately my belief is dead wrong, and it’s a fleeting hope. Like a shimmering star before it sets across a twilight sky. My idea is about as useful as chewing bubblegum in junior high.

Our best option is to accept who we are, as we are. Acceptance is something that takes a long time, and requires reassurance from trusted friends and advisors. All the while, continually working on improving character. College has helped me grow, and I can’t recommend it enough. I don’t know what your financial situation is, but I am going to a community college for 800 bucks a semester and it is the best thing I have ever done in my entire life.

Many people tell me to relax and my girl will just fall in my lap. I have no other choice but to follow that advice. Because I no longer need a higher quality women in my life. Sure it would be nice, but I don’t NEED it to be comfortable with who I am. Being comfortable and satisfied with your core, is the only way to achieve substance. Do not worry about becoming content and stopping your endeavors. Your motivation to accomplish your goals will only increase after you can accept who you are totally and completely. Love is total and complete acceptance, and you must possessive it in order to receive it.

Even on a deeper level now. During my childhood, sex and masturbation were sources of pleasure for me. My father was emotionally abusive. I became addicted to masturbation. I’m not saying masturbation is wrong, but I am saying I was addicted. My desire for SEX isn’t just natural hormones, but also emotional satisfaction. Because I understand my desires root, I can begin to distance myself from my need for sex. I can be OK with being in the friend zone– without losing my cool.

I don't know the future but I lost my best girl friend because of my unwillingness to stay in the friend zone. And now I regret it horribly. She was probably one of the best people anyone could have in their life. And because my mind is wired to believe that all women must want to sleep with me or I am unworthy – I fucked it up. The unworthiness is a deep seeded belief in my core that says I am not good enough. It says that I can't get a girl who is better than me because I am not worthy. Therefore if I do get with a women I would be settling, because how could any women possibly be with me – the unworthy pickup artist.

But if you alter your belief about yourself then you will view the women in your life differently. You wont put your thoughts into her head. You won’t need the bad ones, and you won’t even want them. Acceptance of your experience can allow you to be vulnerable around any women – without using lines. Having courage to face your experience and not try to manipulate it can be a daunting task. But no one said this was going to be easy.


Who I am has nothing to do with the amount or quality of women in my life. My growth, through goals has empowered me to be more than I was. Granted I started my journey just as you- by trying to get a better girl. Although, I have become more valuable without the help of a lover. I have friends that support me. It’s better to have friends to support me, than throw a friendship on the line for a relationship that might not work out. There is no need to start a relationship with a women who is “better” than you are. Relationships will happen on there own. Style never figured out the reason why he never got a girlfriend before PUA. I think it’s because he was never able to change his belief about himself. So he turned to PUA. Courage to be who he was is the only thing he was lacking plus a good attitude. I give this advice after years of becoming a better person. When I first started PUA I had nothing to be courageous about, or so I thought. But the reality is that I was successful and outgoing. But I never saw myself like that. I have always been who I am. But my attitude is what has changed the most. And this perspective has given me so much more than any women can ever give me. It all came from living my life in the pursuit of my dreams, and having the courage to follow them.

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Walk Hard