I have tried coming up to girls that give me initial points of interest. But when i do i either can't go through with it or the conversation gets awkward. how can you cure your lack of confidence and anxiety when you make your initial approach?

It's like bungee jumping or something the first time will appear to be fear but you have to realize it is just adrenaline and relish that point. Look at it this way, other people pay hundreds of pounds to go up in planes and crap for an adrenaline rush you are just talking to a girl. Lucky you

Plus after a few approaches you won't feel fear it will be excitement

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Are there select steps to get a girl to be interested. I mean I am just confused on the steps and going through those steps to get the girl interested. Could you please clarify how precisely it should go? I appreciate it thank you

To help you cure your approach anxiety. Try going to the mall and walking around. Every girl you see who is within 5 years of your age. Smile and say "hi." You will be surprised how many girls will smile back. This will build your confidence for the next time you are at the bar.

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Date Coach Chris

"Would you like me to give you a formula for success? It’s quite simple, really. Double your rate of failure. You are thinking of failure as the enemy of success. But it isn’t at all. You can be discouraged by failure or you can learn from it, So go ahead and make mistakes. Make all you can. Because remember that’s where you will find success."
– Thomas J. Watson

Hi bro,

just read this quote, and found it to be quite cool. wanted to share and all that.

Peace!!

First of all if you want to know the steps you just need to read the forums here, they contain a lot of useful information. As far as your AA goes, this is how I view it.

You really do need to view this as a game, or a hobby. When you first start doing something you expect to make mistakes. But you use those mistakes to get better. The way you need to look at this is not that you tried to pick up a girl and you failed. You have to look at it as I am working toward being really good at this whole PU skill set, and the first step is opening. I'm going to go out tonight and work on my openers. You will find some sets open easily, some are difficult, some don't open at all. Some naturally lead to pleasant conversations, some will die out after your opener is finished. However, the point is that you are mastering the skill of opening!

When I first went out I crashed and burned all the time, but I never, NEVER had a bad night. I still crash and burn and love it. Because I look at it like I just described to you. I could go home after a night of only opening one set after trying 20 and be stoked because I would get on the phone or talk to a friend and break down and analyze what went on. I realized what was working and what didn't. I had mastered Opening, and it was awesome. Now I got to move on to the next step, work on that one, then the next, etc.

Don't look at it as being shut out by girls, rejected, etc. Look at it as practice, and making progress on the road toward mastering the art of PU. You learn from every single situation.

There is no magic routine that will make a girl fall in love with you. This is a skill set like any other that takes dedication and hard work to master, or even become proficient at. If you're willing to put the work in than read the forums, go out in field and crash, but stick with it. You'll learn more every time and your skills will go. Asking for the quick fix is pointless.

Getting back to your AA, what I'm saying is don't look at it in a way that makes you feel like you're losing something. If you feel like everything is a learning experience then even getting blown out of a Set is still a positive experience. If you realize that you have nothing to lose than you should have no AA. And seriously, what do you have to lose? You can not talk to girls all night and stare at them across the room wishing you had the balls... or you can go up to them and talk to them and see what happens. Even if you fail, you'll probably never see them again so what does it matter what they think? They just helped you up your game, even if they blew you out.

Get out there and practice man. No Fear. Just pull the trigger, it will all come together in time!

_________________
"As to the deceit perpetrated upon women, let it pass, for, when love is in the way, men and women as a general rule dupe each other."
-Giacomo Casanova

Ok.. I made a post about kicking AA a while ago in some part of the forum... Dont remember where but search and you will find.

In short.

It is a choice, either you are in or youre out.

You need to understand your priorities. What is more important to you, keeping in your comfort zone or getting rid of your AA?

If you prefer staying in comfort, then youre out. If you realize that it is worse to never learn, then you are in.

Make the choice.

Hey buddy, the guys above me have given you a lot of good advice of ridding your AA. However, I know that when I first started the main fear, for me, was not rejection DIRECTLY, but rejection because I had no steps to follow, it felt as if I had just been chucked in at the deep end. Although I suggest that is GOOD, as you overcome your fear of rejection (turns out it isn't that bad after all!).

Here are a few steps to have in mind when opening and conversing shortly after with the set:

1) 3 SECOND RULE. (There are some people over there, let's go say hi.)
2) Don't walk DIRECTLY at them, almost walk past then turn and say 'Hey guys!' , they'll look at you quizically in which you then spill out your opener. I suggest having two canned openers to use a main one and a reserve. Perhaps go for a situational one and if you don't have one by the time you've reached the set - use a canned one.
3) Give a time constraint
4) Do the opener
5) ROUTE the opener. (This means telling them why you asked, so you don't look like a weirdo or someone doing a survey. E.g. 'I'm asking because my friend is in this situation.'
6) Talk a little longer around the subject of your opener
7) When you feel the conversation is going to die, turn away as if you were leaving, maybe say I better be off or something, and then turn back and ask 'How do you guys all know each other?'
Get into a good conversation with them, still bodyrocking a little.
9) Tell a DHV story. At the climax of your story, leave them at a cliffhanger and lock-in. For example, if they are all sitting down, say you've been on your feet all day and must take a seat, then sit down and you should all be looking at you in anticipation of you finishing your story. Finish your story
10) Start gaming your target directly, do some routines etc. Start kino escalating.
11) Isolate your target, continue to kino-escalate and then K-CLOSE.

From there you can go for a #-close and arrange a day 2 later on or continue on with this girl and see if you can get a f-close out of it.

Hope that helps in some way
Hood.

This is why we've posted a thread called "Worthwhile Threads" at the top of this section. If you check out the second page, you will see a link to a thread that addresses all of your "approach anxiety" issues by yours truly.