I've recently been listening to a highly acclaimed book most of you have probably heard of. Actually, I got the recommendation for this book while I was looking at PUA books on amazon. The book that I am talking about is "How to win friends and influence people" by Dale Carnegie.

The book points out social curtousies and genuine interest in others. However, it seems to contradict with some PUA teachings of being more assertive, and dominant. Perhaps it is just me and I could be over analyzing this situation. Could someone please give me more insight into this?

Depends what you're trying to do at the time.

The "softer" stuff you find in Carnegie is vital. It's the stuff that social intelligence is made of. The "harder" stuff you learn from the Community is not supposed to be used as often as you may think it should. You should know that you can get away with it, but be careful of overdoing it.

Dude, my mother's boyfriend read that book.

I think it's only fair to mention that he is the biggest beta male I have ever met. I'm not even kidding when I question whether he even owns a penis.

Hahahahhaaaa! ^^^^

i had a quick page through of that book and i really wasn't too happy with what i saw... the overwhelming impression that it gave me was that making friends relied on basically being a brown-noser and constantly seeking to make others happy, basically it's constantly seeking validation.

now, i know i cant really comment seeing as i havent read the book but i just had to point out quick that being good with women doesnt mean that you have to be an ass. there's nothing wrong with being more assertive and confident as long as you're not a dick about it, because then you go from the good guy who's good with women to the asshole that's good with women.

so how should I use what I learn in the book and implement it with PU? or are you guys suggesting that I should not use the advice given in that book?

A couple people I've meet who have read that book, and recommend it, have great personalities. They're the ones others are drawn to simply because of their genuine interest in others. However, this conclusion is based upon two examples.

Use it for vibing. People place way too much emphasis on breaking rapport. You need to be able to chill in rapport.

Dale Carnegie is a great proffessional reference, it does not relay back to this community because it works on different principles. If you are interested in social dynamics and stuff the books is not the way to go, Dale Carnegie Provides courses in many places and these are very, very good. They dont really make you a better pick up artist but they do generally help with proffessional aspects of your life and improve confidence. People who cannot even speak to people or infront of a group gain great confidence through the courses and i would highly recommend it to anyone who suffers with crippling AA.

The main thing the course does is develop your social skills, and helps you become more confident. It does not help you with any other aspect of pick up other than AA.

I've only read bits and pieces of the book because I already employ many of the principles it teaches and so it isn't at the top of my reading list. I am however planning on reading through the whole thing when I do have the time.

It's a great book and most of what it teaches does pertain to attracting the opposite sex as well as being an "alpha male". The stuff that you say is softer crap and isn't really assertive is actually working on important subconsious elements that directly affect how people perceive you. By being capable of influencing people without forcing your will on them and attempting to dominate them you actually show more strength and confidence.

I highly recommend this book. It gets my stamp of approval.

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"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye

Hmm i must have missed something, when i read the book it was a couple years back and i didnt know anything about this community at the time. I might have missed a lot that could apply to pick up.

I know the courses and the book helped me tremendously in my work environment.