I really need some help with this



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PostPosted: Fri Dec 05, 2008 2:58 pm 
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Over the past few weeks, there's a girl from a couple of my classes that I've gotten to know a little. I am having a very tough time figuring her out, and I don't know what the next thing to do is.

Besides her 8.5-9 looks, she's very respectful, she has a sense of humor, I can hold a conversation with her, and I can totally be myself around her. I see her in classes twice a week, and I feel we get along pretty well. Normally, I'd have done something by now (we did exchange numbers), but somehow she is able to catch me off-guard or can outwit me at times.

During class #1, we don't have a chance to talk as much, but we do wind up chatting for a few minutes. During class #2, most of the class knows one another, after class the two of us (plus a couple others) stay around to hang for a little bit. This past week though, I had a hunch something was amidst. She may be dealing out the tests!
Class #1 - This one was quite interesting. I usually sit near a guy I know from extra-cirriculars, he is friends with the girl I like too (he's known her longer). Overall I am not really concerned about him because it's highly unlikely they'd start dating - he may still have a gf, he's going abroad in 2 weeks, and she's not "easy" by any means. The girl came over to our area three times. The first one (I was talking to someone else), he said he'll make pasta at his suite and suggested she comes cuz they won't see each other for 9 months. It's ok that she said yes (again, I don't feel this is fatal for me), but this conversation was a little loud. The second time she comes by, she ends up talking the same guy AND another guy who is gay (not that there's anything wrong with that)...I get 2 words in; it's as if she was trying to ignore me. At this point I figure this one is done and it's not worth it. Of course, at the end of the class - when no one was right near me - she comes over, sits down, opens with a C+F type joke, and we talk for a few.
Class #2 Today after class, a few of us hung out and talked. The girl and I talk a lot in this class, much more than class #1. Anyways, we were talking tonight and the others were going to head to a bar nearby b/c they're 21. The problem...I am 20. :shock: She was laughing and was amused by my schemes to try and get into the bar. We know I don't have much of a chance of sneaking past the strict bouncers and she called me sweetheart (never heard her say that before). I don't know if that's a good or a bad thing.

Here are some "signs" I might be seeing: I get a little kino, she looks at me a lot and smiles (esp. in group conversation), and she laughs even when I tell a bad joke. She is also displaying some good body language, but I'm not great with that. I had asked her to coffee a little before Thanksgiving, but she had work and some projects to finish (yeah I know that's not good). I can't figure her out, and I have some questions:
-Finals are right around the corner (two more classes then finals), meaning there's really no time to do anything. I'd like to suggest to her we keep in touch and hang out once we're back after break...what's your advice?
-Is being called a sweetheart a good or a bad thing?
-There's not much in the way of good parties at my campus, but the bars are nice. Unfortunately, I can't get into bars for another half-a-year (can't get a fake). What's the best way around this?
-Any other thoughts or observations?


I really appreciate any help. I'd ask her out, but I can't ask her out to anything right now b/c break is coming up. I also can't read her especially well. Even if she says LJBF, this is the type of girl I'd rather have in my life as a friend than not at all.


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PostPosted: Sat Dec 06, 2008 6:35 am 
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Again, any help is apprecaited. I like trying to help out whenever I have a chance and the advice I get here is pretty good.

Today, I get a text from the girl because she needs some equipment we're using for class (I signed it out real early so I know I'd get it). I told her we don't need it tomorrow so its all hers. We talked a few times so we'd be on the same page with timing and such. My inner thought process was that after she gets me the camera back, I'd ask what she was up to that night. However, I get a late text saying she doesn't need it anymore but thanks anyway? No big deal...I told her it's no problem, then did a couple one-liners that are relevant to things we've discussed lately.


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 Post subject: Respones
PostPosted: Sat Dec 06, 2008 10:30 pm 
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Finals is the perfect time to work subtle game and get closer. Propose a study session together in some public place, on campus preferably. This way you are posing no threat whatsoever and she gets to accomplish the studying for these classes that you're collectively in. Be charming, witty and funny when you study together but try to stay on topic with the course material so as to remain nonthreatening.

After the final you have a great opener to talk to her (text, facebook, in person) by asking her how the exam went. Talk about the exam for a substantial period of time before switching the conversation onto more personal things.

Sweetheart really doesn't mean a whole lot in my mind. It shows that she's comfortable with you but thats about it.

If you want to hang out with this girl in a more social situation but can't make it out to the clubs throw a party at your house. Try and get a bunch of people over and make sure she comes. She'll be able to see you in a social environment where you will be able to work game.

That's my two cents, hope all works out.


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 Post subject: Re: Respones
PostPosted: Sat Dec 06, 2008 11:33 pm 
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Good tips there, but there are two little problems:
-No finals in the two classes we are in.
-As for throwing a party at my place...won't work. Next year I'll be living in a nice place on campus, but where I live right now is a little too small.

I see her two more times in the coming week, I'd like to atleast accomplish SOMETHING, whether it's letting her know about the keeping in touch and hanging out when we're back from break, or if really need be, putting it all on the line. To be honest,if she was to say LJBF, I'd rather keep her as a friend than not have her around at all, so I don't know how I'd go about that if I was unsuccessful.


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PostPosted: Sat Dec 06, 2008 11:50 pm 
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Hmm... create conversation by asking her what you should get your mom/sister/grandma/aunt for xmas. Act confused when she starts making recommendations. If you're both going to be in the city over the break try and turn the convo into a shopping date together. If you get it you're walking the fine line between her close friend and a potential mate. So make sure to act like the naive manly guy, not the guy whose pointing out what will look good on her.


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PostPosted: Sun Dec 07, 2008 12:22 am 
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Quote:
Hmm... create conversation by asking her what you should get your mom/sister/grandma/aunt for xmas. Act confused when she starts making recommendations. If you're both going to be in the city over the break try and turn the convo into a shopping date together. If you get it you're walking the fine line between her close friend and a potential mate. So make sure to act like the naive manly guy, not the guy whose pointing out what will look good on her.
I like the "asking for holiday gift tips" advice. I forgot to mention one other thing though...our hometowns are on opposite sides of the country. :shock:


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PostPosted: Sun Dec 07, 2008 12:55 am 
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If either of you are in town for another day or two after exams you could try the shopping then. Normally I wouldn't recommend so many things with 'if' but I'm not a big fan of working routines on girls that I enjoy being around that are in my classes. The downside is too big. Considering this is someone you want in your life make sure to be delicate with it.


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PostPosted: Sun Dec 07, 2008 7:24 am 
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Quote:
If either of you are in town for another day or two after exams you could try the shopping then. Normally I wouldn't recommend so many things with 'if' but I'm not a big fan of working routines on girls that I enjoy being around that are in my classes. The downside is too big. Considering this is someone you want in your life make sure to be delicate with it.
Yeah it's a tough situation. I'm leaving the day of my last final, so there won't really be any time afterwards to hang out or w/e. I don't think we share any classes in the spring. This means if I don't do anything, there's that chance they we'd start to drift away (so to speak). As you said though, she's real cool and she's a good influence.

I know I have to do something, I just don't know how to go about it.


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PostPosted: Sun Dec 07, 2008 9:35 pm 
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You know her name I'm assuming. By some light facebook posts and messages you can prevent her from drifting away. Now wouldn't be a great time for any dates just because of exams. She'll reject you and it may not be because she doesn't want to. I advise switching the presents talks to facebook messages. It allows you to continue the conversation and send it in a different direction. I'd keep up the facebook messages over the break, but if she stops replying back off before you start to creep her out. The one good thing about going to the same school is that there's tons of openers you can use and lots of chances to flirt with her. asking how exams went is another passive opener, just make sure you use these to get to more personal things. Also, try and send some interesting stories that happened to you over the break while you're away. Start a message saying "I figured you'd enjoy this..." then bullshit some crazy story.


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PostPosted: Sun Dec 07, 2008 9:36 pm 
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next time you're at a club in the new year. If you're getting some good signs from her. Say you've got a late x-mas present. Then pull the classic stick your hand out and close your eyes routine.


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