Just realized I'm really fuckin awkward



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PostPosted: Tue Sep 30, 2008 11:09 pm 
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That's really my main sticking point. It's just something about the way I talk to people or something like that, maybe the things I say... it just weirds them out. I just noticed this happening a lot when I meet new girls, even though I seem to follow all the rules perfectly. I can do fine with making them laugh and being friendly, but other than that, the only time a girl will show any interest in me at all is when she has met me through someone else, she has seem my Facebook first, or she is just as weird/awkward/artistic as I am. There were a couple of incidents today that made me realize that this is a serious problem.

My newbie question here is, what the hell can I do about this? How do you just...stop being awkward? I'm not even sure what it is I'm doing. I've even got to feeling comfortable about my own behavior, just somehow I started noticing that it weirds people out somehow. Part of it might be from my voice...it's really deep and sounds monotone and emotionless, which I imagine can be slightly creepy to people who aren't used to it.


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 30, 2008 11:18 pm 
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all I can recommend is to watch movies with people like brad pitt, observe how they act and see if it matches up to what you're doing. Or observe a friend that is good with girls, and see how he behaves. If you're not doing what they do, think about how you can be more like them and emulate them.


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 30, 2008 11:22 pm 
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dude, you cant expect advice if you dont even know what it is that makes you awkward.
the deep and mono-tone voice isn't all that bad. alphas have a deep, loud voice. just practice expressing yourself through your tone of your voice a bit.. maybe go for some acting or singing classes or something.

but seriously, its hard to give advice if you dont even know what makes you seem weird... so ask your friends about it or something.


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 01, 2008 12:38 am 
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keep still

lean back

either come up with something creative that suits your personality

-or-

keep using memorized sequences and routines but ground yourself. don't jump all over the place and change things. that might be what's wrong.

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Love, KATA124


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 01, 2008 1:17 am 
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Quote:
keep still

lean back

either come up with something creative that suits your personality

-or-

keep using memorized sequences and routines but ground yourself. don't jump all over the place and change things. that might be what's wrong.
That last bit could be part of the problem. I've read all these different resources about what to do and what to be, and I guess I've gotten to being kinda lost...as in, unsure of how to behave, what to feel and what demeanor to have. I think my unsureness could be starting to show. Also, I've had my friends complain to me before about how I'm so unemotional it's creepy. That could be part of it... I seem to have no emotional reactions to anything at all unless I fake them.


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 01, 2008 4:40 pm 
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Would you say that whatever it is that you are doing is showing neediness, try hard, desperation, lack of social behavior (weirdo), etc...?

If you can't identify what is it that your doing wrong try to see what is the effect it has on them, this way is easier to identify the problem that is causing it and then fix it. Look for how you are being perceived.

Or mb this isn't the problem at all and all you need is to build yourself a cool, outgoing and interesting life style. This will help you out and everything will start falling in to place by itself.

Travel, have goals and yearly resolutions, projects, try and learn new things, surfing, skydiving, music, movies, dance, jetski, motorcycle, hiking, camping, fashion, history and culture...etc

Be more connected with your emotions in all this activities. How did it feel? Read, read, and read some more. Pay attention at how writers describe every detail and do the same when you are out talking.

Pay attention to you body language and look for commonalities. Talk about childhood experiences. Did she like cereal in the morning growing up? Did she watch cartoons during breakfast before going to school? Create a connection.

Become a good storyteller and don't try to hard, be a true natural.

Don't do it for the chicks do it for the life style... that’s the secret


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 01, 2008 4:48 pm 
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That's really my main sticking point. It's just something about the way I talk to people or something like that, maybe the things I say

you already figured it out it seems, sounds to me its your vibe the way you come off which can be bad body language, subjects you talk about, facial expressions or voice tonality, or something i havent mentioned....wheres you eyes at?...you holding eye contact or you looking at there other pair of eyes the whole time, or just got a look in your eye saying i want you now.....

maybe have a girl friend of yours go watch you some time approach someone and have her tell you what she felt you did wrong....

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PostPosted: Fri Oct 03, 2008 12:11 am 
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Quote:
That's really my main sticking point. It's just something about the way I talk to people or something like that, maybe the things I say

you already figured it out it seems, sounds to me its your vibe the way you come off which can be bad body language, subjects you talk about, facial expressions or voice tonality, or something i havent mentioned....wheres you eyes at?...you holding eye contact or you looking at there other pair of eyes the whole time, or just got a look in your eye saying i want you now.....

maybe have a girl friend of yours go watch you some time approach someone and have her tell you what she felt you did wrong....
Yeah, that might be it. I tried some more approaches today, and even though my AA wasn't prominent, there was definitely something wrong. Even though the girls I talked to all smiled nicely, in all circumstances the girls looked very uncomfortable and the conversations went fuck nowhere and would end with "well I have to get to class now, nice meeting you." Also, when I enter a group of more than 2 girls, even if I already know one, they'll usually talk to me for a few seconds, then talk about some girls-only subject and freeze me out and I'll leave without them noticing. Either I'm creeping them out with my completely unemotional tonality and facial expressions (I have tourettes syndrome, so when my facial expressions change it's pretty much always involuntary) or I just bore the fuck out of them. I DO make eye contact with them though, and my body stays pretty still for the most part.

The female friend thing is a good idea though, I might try that out.


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