Hi all, this is my first post and id really appreciate your thoughts.

I need to give you some brief background but ill keep it a short as possible.

Im 29 now and after reading The Game i have realised (perhaps i knew long ago) that ive let too many years pass me by living like a true AFC.

From the age of 13 to around 20 i had NO problem with women but following a serious car accident my social confidence slowly started to fade away, the reasons unknown.

Ive always found it hard to meet new people and my circle of friends is very small, you could say im a bit of a loner. In other ways though that has been a strength for me becuase i do what i want when i want. For instance, ive moved to various cities all over the UK by myself in order to advance my career and i have no qualms in leaving old friends behind if it means im doing whats right for me. But the more ive moved around the more ive become used to living alone and going out alone and i now find it harder than ever to meet new people.

As you all know, going out to meet women at clubs etc on your own is hard enough, but ive got to the stage where i just cant bring myself to introduce myself to a group of strangers (stupid i know), i just think that the group will think im being rude by interrupting them. (again, stupid i know) This has become a MAJOR sticking point for me........I mean..people tell me im handsome and i think im an interesting guy as when i do actually meet people i have no problem chatting and having something to say. Inside im very sure of myself but something is holding me back.

I have a great job, fantastic bunch of people at work, i train hard and i have lots of varied hobbies and interests so my inner game in that respect is just fine. Its just that my social life has literally gone down the toilet.

Two months ago i moved to another new city and so far ive met two new people but they both have families, kids etc so they cant/wont go out sarging.

What would you do in my shoes becuase im running out of ideas fast!!

Thanks for reading all of this

Man, sounds like I'm in a fairly similar situation, although I'm a few more months into it than you are. I definitely had my cocoon moments - but one of my best friends did the whole international move thing years ago, and his key piece of advice was simple: "MAKE THE EFFORT." That means that even if it's Friday, you're tired from work, and you're on your own, find a local bar/pub/club and get a drink. Or hit the park. Or go shopping. Just get around people and work on your PU game as well as your social game (the latter can make the former much easier with time) regardless of the consequences.

Anyhow, I feel that the key is to get yourself exposed to as many people as possible. You're right that a lot of people are going to have their own thing happening and won't care to open up, but you'll also be amazed by how many people will be impressed by your adventure (it doesn't hurt to work your "story" through your head to make sure it's short and interesting) and will give you the time of day. You automatically are going to be different than 90% of the guys a certain girl has been talking to. By becoming a "social slut" and making the effort to get out there as much as possible, you just improve your odds of hitting it off with people.

Over time, I've actually found a few fairly cool friends from work (and my work is not the coolest place), and they've helped me expand my circle a bit. Additionally, I've used the times when friends & family have come to visit as the opportunity to get out there and hit certain social spots I didn't want to try alone with a makeshift "crew'". One other thing you can try - although I didn't find it the greatest in my personal experience - is to find expat groups on the internet for your town who are going through much the same thing you are; here you're likely to find some potential running mates. Finally, even going solo, you can meet people - including girls. A lot of guys on this forum have really good tips for flying solo, and while I don't think it's the preferred way to go, it can work. If anything, I've found myself opening my standards and dropping way down on the HB meter compared to what I'd be used to back home...

Anyhow, this may have been a bit of a ramble, but I hope it gives some help/hope. I'm still feeling like a bit of a fish out of water, so I'm not trying to pretend that I've found the magic answer. However, I've got a small group of friends that I've been able to go out with, and I've even managed to get laid on a few occasions... Just get out there! On top of everything else, it will make sure you get the most out of your experience in a new city.

Thanks for the response and your right about working my travels into the conversation as an opener, ill try it.

I dont know about other people around my age on here, but nearly everone i know, including friends back home, are settled down with kids!!!!....sure makes it hard to go out on the pull when you aint ready to settle down yet...

I need to meet some people who are in a similar situation to myself...quick!

all those interesting things about yourself and hobbies and you arent in any groups that have to do with them?
Heh groups are great ways to meet people. Most all you have to do is say hi and show your passion and they will love you. Heck I'm the only white dude in the Vietnamese Student Association. Great places to find groups that deal with your hobbies are meetup.com, your local newspaper website, colleges, and if you can't find one... start one.

Its about taking initiative. I know it sucks and that you don't feel like going out. That's just why joining a group and actually participating in it will be so effective. You will socialize, learn new things, and be obligated to go by the other members. You are making meeting people a chore. I bet in the past meeting girls wasn't a chore it was great fun. Go out and have some fun man.

-Ty

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