How do I find myself?



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 Post subject: How do I find myself?
PostPosted: Mon Sep 22, 2008 3:48 am 
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New to MPUA Forum

Joined: Fri Sep 05, 2008 6:37 am
Posts: 16
Hi all.

I met my gf today and I got a feeling she is playing with me. I love this girl, but havn't told her. She said two guys are going to be sleeping at her apt. because they need to do some shit in our city until tuesday. haha. I really feel like shit right now. I'm in love and she is just playing me, this is so fucking pathetic. I feel defeated inside and I wish I could get the tears to come out so I could release the ache I feel in my heart. I'm not a pua, I have almost no friends, I'm a recovering wow addict, spent the last 6 years playing video games, socially awkward.
I don't know what to do, I have zero confidence right now.

See the thing is I'm the problem and I realise it, I just don't know where to start. I've read some gaming material and still reading, but without someone there to guide me on self improvement I get caught up and lose the path I'm supposed to travel.

I feel trapt inside, I'm only 20, I have one family member in this country and maybe one person I could call a friend. Does it get any worse?


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Sep 22, 2008 1:39 pm 
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New to MPUA Forum

Joined: Fri Sep 19, 2008 2:48 pm
Posts: 4
Cheer up buddy, i'm new to this like you and turning 20 soon, how long have u been reading this stuff? i'm no expert but i think i know what your goin through, the moment you say the words "i love you" or something to her is the moment when you open yourself up to rejection and you fear that outcome, i know the feeling, i've been reading up on game and probably in the past 2 months of goin out maybe 2 times a week, 75% of the time i just freeze and dont do anything that night or just get into a scared mindset that i ignore a girl that grinds past me and smiles for fear of rejection.

it fucken sucks man i know it but the other 25% of the times i go out if i just go out there and do it, try some of the material and strategies, it seriously does work and you will feel like fucking gold. if i can give any advice for you, just straight out ask this girl and confront her, one thing i always force in my head whenever i get a limiting belief is like "i cant talk to her" or something is to immediately challenge it with "do i wanna stay here and let this pass me by like a pussy or am i gonna fucken act and take charge of my life". if she tells you the worst possible outsome whatever that may be (and i hate to say it but its probably gonna b 10x better than the outcome you got pictured in your head, no decent person is gonna completely rip another person apart emotionally and expect you to just take it)

thats what you gotta do at this stage man, stop focusing on all the negatives and shortcomings and view what you can do, you got your whole life ahead of you, you can either watch it go by and complain or start changing.

its gd that your reading, for the past 3 months i've been reading (probably more than i need to) but i can guarentee you if you try out some of it you will get results. go out with the mindset of just talking to some girls, not to get numbers not to get them back into bed, just try open some sets to start off with, if you got no-one to go out with go out by urself, i was so pumped to go out and game one night that i went out bymyself to a club that i knew would b packed turns out i waited in line for a couple of hours but while in the like i was like "fuck it, theres 3 perfectly good looking chicks infront of me open them", i just bullshitted that i thought i knew one of them from a school near me and turns out she knew a guy that went to my school and it flowed from there, but i fucked up cause i diddnt engage the rest of her friends just focused on her and then they left the line b4 i could work up the balls to ask for the number.

well for my first post its fairly long but for fucks sake dont get stuck in a pit of self loathing, drag yourself out of it and trying new things that challenge you is a good way, dont get hung up on results and thinking everyone has to love you


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Sep 22, 2008 2:29 pm 
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New to MPUA Forum

Joined: Wed May 21, 2008 12:20 pm
Posts: 27
Location: Melbourne Australia
Schneller, welcome. I can empathize with what you say, I was with a girl for two and a half years and was a validation seeking, insecure person. It ended when she ripped me to pieces at a time of her choosing in order to go be with someone else. Not the best point in my 19 years on this earth.

We all come to this material and forums like these for different reasons. You sound like an intelligent person and that is a good place to be starting from. What this material cannot offer you is a quick fix to life's problems. What it can do is enhance your skills in the area of social interaction and self confidence particularly as it relates to women.
The first question to ask yourself is what do you want from this resource?

I would suggest looking up David DeAngelo's lecture on "Becoming a man" and on body language. Find what base needs you are trying to fill and work from there. Build yourself back up from zero if you have to. When you are feeling as you are now it's hard to remember all the times that you have been able to interact well with people. There is NO ONE I have ever encountered who couldn't relate to other people in some way. Remember the successes. Plus you have skills, don't be ashamed of playing WoW, I'm a Warhammer nut and self appointed art nerd. Embrace your idiosyncrasies.

In short I guess what I'm trying to say is this; All the people I admire and those I consider best with women have a whole life package that they have created through work. Rock stars, businessmen, artists whatever- they all made their life the way they wanted it to be and are happy living it. Build your perfect life and success with people will follow. PUA can help build it but it is not the only building block. Cheer up, as the cliche goes there are plenty of fish in the sea and as Nietzsche might say "dare to become who you are".

P.S If you are ever in Melbourne and want a game of WH40K drop us a line :D

_________________
"Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative" - Oscar Wilde


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Sep 22, 2008 2:39 pm 
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MPUA Forum Enthusiast

Joined: Tue Sep 02, 2008 12:15 pm
Posts: 30
If you want someone with the same goals as you. I'm assuming that being on this forum you are interested in going out sarging. Why not try and find someone on the forum to go out with. Give a shout out to people who might be living in your area. I have been wanting to get into the whole PUA thing for ages now, and it took me quite a while to find someone who is a friend of mine with similar goals. It's good to have people around you when you are going through tough times. The guys here are good people and I think it would be beneficial to get to know some of them personally. In fact I think I should get to know people here a bit better. Good luck with your endeavors.
Cheers,
Jay


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Sep 23, 2008 1:40 am 
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Joined: Fri Sep 05, 2008 6:37 am
Posts: 16
Thanks a lot for the kind words and your support and advice! I woke up a happy man! :D


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