so this is the problem. there is this girl im friends with, we are actually best friends. i've known her for about almost 2 years now, and i havn't had a stronger bond with a girl before because we are nearly on the phone 2-3+ hours a day and have much in common. When i got to know her, as the months went by we started having feelings for each other on and off. but something bad happened (drama), and we didnt talk for a while and we started talking again being very close to each other. however, she still has feelings for me and i obviously can't stop thinking about her..its ridiculous. however i would always try to back myself away from her not to go out with her even though she is number one in my head. the problem is she smokes and drinks and i quit that lifestyle and i just don't like it. but at one point i was fed up i went up to her grabbed her and kissed her, so that put a lot of mixed messages in her head but she loved it... then 2 days after my friends we're telling it's a bad idea etc because she smokes drinks blah blah. my issue is i tend to listen to others more if they tell me if something is better for me because i can't decide at times, so i messaged her on msn yes..MSN telling her things will not work and i want to be just friends. so we ended up being friends, but last night she called me and started getting angry at me as the conversation progressed, she is still madly in love with me... and yet again i can't stop thinking about her for the past forever. she is in my mind 24/7, and no matter what i do even if i tell my self i dont want to go out with her im constantly thinking about her... so i want to know which direction should i take? lets say i wanted to go out with her, how would i tell her because i "msged her on msn after kissing her telling her it wont work" and many times before on and off i wasn't sure, because i can't make up my mind at times. she told yesterday how she was mad i had to end it off on msn, but after her ranting she called me to tell me im srry for screaming so im sure she has a care in her because she still has deep feelings for me.

so towards that story, what option do you believe i should take? if i were to go out with her, how am i going to say it with all the times i've avoided it and make her know its for sure this time?

and as an other option, if its best for me to avoid her even though its hard but may be the best choice for me, how shall i do this and would i just take her anger she puts towards me because she still has feelings for me?

Girls love mind-games. Mixed messages create more attraction, so you're not actually helping.

The impression I get of that is that you want to have sex with her, but you don't want a LTR. You're close, but you have high standards and she doesn't meet them. Tell her - your lifestyles don't match and you want X, Y and Z..

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I'm a winner - I am going to win.

its not the standards or anything, i would love to go out with her. just the lifestyles as of now are bothering me... and yeah i suppose mind games are a big, but this girl is honestly deeply in love with me.