I'm gonna be a bit honest now. I'm a very timid fellow. Meeting new male friends isn't my problem. Its talking to ladies (I hate the women-sounds harsh when said out loud so I only use the term 'lady'). I can't seem to talk to them without stuttering or making a total tool of myself. Any tips?

Ok, I'm not a pro, I have somewhat similar probs, but I can overcome them.

Dont treat them like Godesses, thats your prob imo.

Bring them atleast to your level, not above you.

How would you suggest (or anyone) I go about that?

First off, practice, practice, practice. You do not need to talk to women you are interested in talk to everyone, but mostly people you do not know. Talk to women that are way too old for you, too young for you etc. Those experiences will help you when you go to talk to a women of similar age. You have to overcome that fear to be successful in life.

One thing that I mentioned before that might help you out is, before you approach look at the women and find 1 thing that you think is unattractive about her. For Example her ears could be a little to big for her head. Then when you approach concentrate on her "one flaw" and she will not seem nearly as attractive as she seems.

Before the approach Breathe deeply and smile. When you smile your body naturally releases chemicals which make you feel better.

BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY YOU NEED TO PRACTICE!!!

1. Boost your self-image. You know what you are good at, just think about your positive aspects. Everyone is good in something, so dont disqualify yourself as a lower being to a women.

2. Think about them as your equal, just like anyone else, their beauty may dazzle you, its natural and alot of people go through what you are going through. Just be natural and yourself. I think you come out tool becuase in your mind, you are trying very hard not to come out tool and/or you're thinking too much and being over cautious? Am I right on this one?

3. Let it flow naturally, look at your own male freinds, how they behave, what they do, what you will notice with guys who are totally relaxed with women are totally confident in themselves. i.e. They treat themselves equal if not more than the women they're talking to.

Thats my 2 or 3 cents heh.

Thats very useful thank you.

I'd agree - don't put girls on a pedestal. I'd say talk to them as you would talk to the guys (obviously, not too much, but you get what I mean!)

Sounds like you have a lot of respect for "ladies" which is good. But too much respect means you would find yourself a bit submissive and intimidated. I remember a quote from the 40 year old virgin - "I respect women - I respect them so much, I stay away from them!" So yest have respect - just don't over respect!!

If you approach a girl and she blows you out - it wasn't meant to be so move on - don't dwell on it - just learn from it and apply a different approach next time.

Eventually, you will find your feet and be comfortable but you are going to have to force yourself to approach them and deal with the rejections, but the more times you do it, the easier it will become.

Perhaps a blaze (blah-zay) approach would help. Go into the situation with a pessimistic mind (think "this is going to go bad, so WTF I'm going for it anyway - what's the worst that could happen? Oh, I get blown-out - who cares? That's been happening anyway!!") Taking that approach will at least take the apprehension out, because you already know what's going to happen.... Or at least you think you do! Anything else is a pleasant supprise, and so will boost your confidence and allow you to progess....

Like phrozenflame says - bring them to your level - they are no better or worse - just diffrent. You don't know them yet, so at least give them the chance to prove (or disprove) that they are worthy of your time!!

Hope that helps!

Good luck!

"G"

My advice is bring yourself into an environment where every girl is not a potential girlfriend. It has done absolute wonders for me that I started work recently and have been sat on a bank of desks surrounded by women- I have even tested new openers to use.

Previously, my typical interactions occurred when either trying to get/persuade a girl to be my girlfriend and when I went to the pub with my mates in a typical AFC 'let's get drunk and she'll do at the end of the evening' mentality.

The way I learnt to deal with this was by talking to girls as if they were friends that I had no intention of closing, rather than a potential suitor- it's funny but I can tell you that I have managed to K-Close girls simply by talking to them in this way, and not even used any routines.

I have used this reply a couple of times to these threads, so you may have already read it:

Here in the Netherlands, when you walk through the main street of a city where all the shops are, there are people (guys and girls) working for the newspaper/unicef/amnesty etc. and they stop people in the street in order to get them to buy a membership for that newspaper or become member of their organisation.
The girls that work there are hot most of the time (don't expect HB 10 but there will be some 7-9 around) because the hotter the girls, the more likely it is that the people in the street are interested in a membership.
And these girls they come and talk to YOU, and so what I do to get me in the mood for some approaching that evening, I go walking through these streets during the day and wait for those girls to come and talk to me. And you don't buy the fucking newspaper, you have to try to get them to talk about their lives, hobbies, 'Are you going out tonght?' etc.
Of course they will give you false IOI's but that doesn't matter, the conversation will go automaticly because they want to get their job done... So you don't even need to put effort into it!!
And when this is done I always feel more in the mood and prepared while talking to other girls that evening in the club!