So ok, where do I start...

There is this girl. I still kinda like. And I proved it by getting frustrated at the wrong moment. I was out with a mate, everything was going fine. We knew she was out also. So we visited where she was hanging out. Stayed a bit there. I just couldnt get a good conversation going and was kinda stuck in the moment. Music was too loud anyway. The whole problem was that I had a very good evening. With more that normal female contact. Part by acting better in some ways, but also cause I knew some girls that knew other girls ect. There was enough room for improvement, but I was just happy to see myself doing so much better.

So ok we were where she was. But she wasnt giving me that much attention and I kinda sucked at not forcing it so I was stuck. I did moderate small kino's. There also was a moment I opened up by saying my days were looking so much brighter when I wake up. So we had a very closed hug, till she almost fell and let go. I asked if she was drunk, she denied. Also at one moment she stepped on my shoe. So I overreacted and told her it hurt. Seemed to work. And I actually let her kiss my shoe o/

But the underlaying story is. We met again @ some point when I was a bit more drunk. Some lowlife dudes kept dancing with her, which annoyed me I guess(stupid) My mate who has some natural skill but thinks a lot different than the community kept pushing me till the moment I couldnt force a dance with her cause I was anxious. So I kinda snapped and took it out on her. Not in a very bad way, but just being clear. Something like were not gonna talk anymore ect. So I distanced a couple steps. Few moments later she gave me her drink to let me take a zip. This seemed a working respond.I still kinda felt screwed by my own stupidness. So it didnt end well I guess. This wednesday we still gonna go out. Since I asked her if she still wanted. The problem is I didnt let my brighter side shine in this situation and percieved the wrong things. Her attention was not rly pointed at me, and that what it thought it would go like since we came for her. But the thruth is idd that I just cant assume things and have to be relaxed and confident.

But in the end I just had so much theory in my head and too little experiance to put the things in the right direction/order. I kinda thought I blew it. But I was frustrated enough at that moment to just say goodbye to her... And yes this is the outcoming of a oneitis. Which still pests me I guess. I still do want her, but not as badly. Only was I stuck in the moment with not enough logical mental functions.

So when we left the place I sms'ed her by the advice of my m8. That I was just being boring and I was sorry for that. So I went to bed. My head was turning again cause we smoked a joint( weed is my nr.1 enemy sometimes). So ok, I just had to call her again when I was on my bed. I called, said something. She told she was in a taxi or so. So I waited to call again. Than some minutes later she was in her house. I just told something like I was very sorry, we smoked weed(which she knows I do from time to time, and doesnt prefer me doing it cause I act differently) I just felt so sorry (for myself rite now actually). And ok she cut the call by saying she didnt want to wake her parents up and I told her I would text her. So I texted that we have to see this thru on wednesday in sober conditions.

The thing is. There is now too much content to make a healthy outcome out of it. As I know shes still in my head. Too much apperently. But when I see her sober and were alone I can make her have a good time for sure. Without being needy and just being teasy and funny. But this also is the point she has enough reasons to doubt my game and if im good enough for her. She didnt contact me since yesterday. So I was planning to just let it hang till wednesday and hope that she still calls me. If not were not gonna meet?

If we still do meet, how would you guys follow this up? She knows me for a half year now. Mostly on msn, in real life I didnt fuck that much up with her. She knows im in a changing proces. We had some nice open talks and I presented my values. But the question is, how do I deal with this... I just have to wait and see I guess? Keep it cool and tight. Nothing has to happen ofcourse. But in a healthy matter do I still have to continue this. She is smart, fair and has patiance toward my mistakes. But I also know she tends to be insecure and shes still like 18. I just dont know till what level im still possibly having a chance with her... Dont get me wrong, that evening gave me some uppertunities to move on. But I see her as a quality girl that would fill me in well enough.

So ok, end conclusion: Do I still go with her wednesday and if so, only when she contacts me? How shall I act on this evening? I can be open, funny ect. But I expect some further shit testing... And maybe there are things I should pay the upmost attention to?

If somebody has any questions on this story to make some things I forgot more clear. Please let me know....

You've made this really complex, just relax and go with it, run material as you feel necessary, make checks on the body laungauge and you'll be fine.

Dude, didn't you just make a very similar thread not too long ago?

You seem very angry with an addictive personality, and I think you have some major inner game issues, if not some bona fide psychological issues, that need to be worked out.

_________________
Lo' there do I see My Father.
Lo' there do I see the line of My People, back to the beginning.
Lo' they do call to me, they bid me take my place among them.
in the Halls of Valhalla, where the brave may live forever.

Well, im not an agressive person, alcohol is the agressor. But I do tend to have some issues yes:) Im working on it tho, but im not there at yet

Things are brightening up, so will situations like this too. I just have to keep working on it!

It's funny, I am in no way accusing you of this, but accusing the alcohol of being the aggressor is what an alcoholic does, just as you may claim that weed has this effect on you. If I knew this about myself then I would cut alcohol and weed out of my life, neither are worth the hassle.

If you continue you drink and smoke then you will constantly find yourself apologising for your actions.

- SC

Yes, your right. The agressor is the person that chooses what he does. Substance abuse is not something to hide behind. I just feel stupid the night was a blast and I had to get in this bad mood. I didnt go out for some time, but now I think I will do that more often just to work on my game and have some fun. Something surely shifted my mood, prolly was the lack of consistant inner game and some girl I knew passed us. I reached out to her but she reacted rly badly. I was wondering why... Since I didnt do anything wrong. Maybe it was the crappy music I despise. But ok in the end it is my mistake to act like that:) I accept that.

Hmm, somehow she broke my heart. But im happy to move on. Fuck her, oneitis cured I am!

Doesn't sound like it.

_________________
Lo' there do I see My Father.
Lo' there do I see the line of My People, back to the beginning.
Lo' they do call to me, they bid me take my place among them.
in the Halls of Valhalla, where the brave may live forever.

Well, the thruth is... I saw her kissing some dude, while she apperently was outside the same, taxi which I was in waiting. Pretty messed up... I texted her this and that. My intentions always were from the heart ect. I just have to cut the contact now. It hurts yes, will it happen again? No!