I met this girl last week, received many IOIs from her and got her number. She messages me the next day to hang out. I replied saying I am busy but can do dinner. She replies by thanking me and that we'll arrange something closer to the date.

I called her yesterday, and confirmed dinner with her for tomorrow. She seemed very keen on the phone and we arrange a time and place. She also asks me to message me my email to stay in touch. Around 15 minutes later she calls back sounding nervous and says she is really sorry but she has a boyfriend who she has been seeing for a month or so. She told me that she can't make it tomorrow because she is having dinner with him.

I was really surprised and taken aback by her comments. It made me lose state and energy just before I planned to go out that night. Another half hour later, she messages me again, this time with her email address and says that she hopes we can keep it touch.

I personally still feel the effects of what happened last night (I am a bit too emotional as a person). Inside, rationally, I feel that she is gone. However, I do want one more crack at her since I don't think she is in a serious relationship. I can take her as a friend, but I can't be stuffed.

What do you think its best I do? I was thinking of calling her in four days time for a coffee. I haven't replied to her message yet but I don't think I should add her to msn or email her.

Wow, well at least she was honest to tell you why she cancelled the date instead of a bullshit excuse.

A few things;

1.) Shes either really interested in you that she would consider a date with you when she has a boyfriend, OR shes really into her boyfriend and he was being distant to her and then asked her out on a date and she jumped at the idea and you got postponed.

2.) My rule esepcially early on is that if she really wants to see you and if she is interested she will do anything in her power to make the date and not flake. For example think of when you got a date with a new girl that you really like if something bad happend like u got in a car accdient on the way there u'd find a way to make it to that date.

3.) 1 month of dating a new guy doesn't = boyfrined so thats kinda wierd most girls and guys will date multiple people for a while until the few month mark and if after dating someone for a few months they really like them the other people sorta get phased out. How old are u guys high school / college?

4.) Don't let her get in your head, Just because a chick gave u her number start writting it off as she only has a 50% chance that she'll make the date so this way if you are batting 80% on day 2's then u are doing better then average. Also take it as a positive that you picked her up and don't put all ur eggs in 1 basket.

5.) Wait a week, if you still are interested call her and ask her to hang out. If she mentions the boyfriend u can either ignore it, drop a boyfreind destroyer, or say something like along the lines of Whoa, i'm just saying lets do coffee not sleep together, you move pretty fast.

Anyways, 99% of relationships end in break up if that fails and u wanna keep her on the back burner for when she gets bored with the BF then do the email thing and just remain detached, a challenge, and funny when ud o talk, and let her do most of the contacting and initating IMs via MSN/Email.

and thats my opinion on how to handle it.

Thanks.

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