Ok so One thing Ross Jeferies talks about it, connecting with a girls sexual and intimate feelings, by some how talking to her, about feelings, not her feelings, but just feelings in general but I have a hard time insinuating this in a conversation.

Just a quick question but, have you read any of his books?

I'm going to post an example to just give you an idea:

What's the feeling of realizing you're really attracted to
someone? My friend Kim was telling me that her roommate has
this best friend, Dawn. And when Dawn starts to notice that
growing attraction, it happens in a certain way.
Like first, as she looks at the guy, and starts to REALLY
PAY ATTENTION, she just becomes aware of certain things ...
like the rhythm of her breathing, and the beating of her
heart, and the outline of his face ... so as she becomes
aware of all these things, one particular feature of his
face just starts to rivet her attention, so she becomes
totally absorbed in the connection taking place ... and as
that's all happening, it's like the warmth of his voice,
the deep rich warmth of it, just starts to penetrate her
consciousness, and spread all through her body, and as her
heart beats faster and her breathing increases, that warmth
just heats up into a fire, a fire spreading through her
chest and down through her belly, a fire pounding and
pulsating all through her, down to where she really longs
to have it go, until that desire for him just BECOMES
UTTERLY OVERWHELMING, and she just SURRENDERS to it
completely.

_________________
I'm addicted to facing my fears.

just talk about life, things you dislike things u like, but try to stay positive. That way you can find things in common and dive in deeper conversations. When you talk to a girl just be yourself and stop thinking about all these rules and methods. If you just talk and act natural eventually you can dig deeper in their feelings