Hello all! I am in need of some help, I will do my best to describe where I'm getting hung up as quickly as possible, if you need more detail please feel free to ask.

I date almost exclusively online, and I'm getting stuck on continuing attraction when we meet in person,.. I've never been much of a ladies man, but through practice I've come a long way.

I can easily move from emailing back and forth to getting a phone number,.. in fact most of the time I don't even need to ask for a number anymore. Women are clearly attracted to me at this point.

Talking on the phone is easy,.. I am a fun person, and always have fun and interesting things to talk about, I live an active adventurous life, plus I LOVE to tease,.. and I'm socially aware enough not to push things too far. This is a HUGE hit,.. and I usually don't even have to ask for a date,.. sometime during the first phone call she's usually asking when we get to meet. I typically make her wait (I like to make sure she's someone I want to meet first) but I tell her that I need to get to know her better to make sure she's not some psyco killer. This is fun too because then if she asks any weird questions I can accuse her of being a stalker. Women are very attracted to me at this point,.. lots of interest, and they are typically quite excited about the date.

The problem comes when we meet in person,..
First off I typically choose some Starbucks to meet at, usually after work, and I usually tell her I only have a half hour,... I like to keep first meetings short.
My pictures on the website are accurate to who I am - I'm in my early 30's could stand to loose 20 lbs, but I'm not way overweight,.. I'm 6 foot tall,. all in all pretty average looking. I'm not a fashion king, but I dress well enough, and my online pictures are pretty typical to what I wear to dates, so there are no surprises.

Dates always go well,.. but there is simply never any spark. There is interesting conversation,.. lively conversation,.. in many cases she was sad when I said I had to go saying she was really enjoying the conversation,.. but it seems there is no sexual attraction. The dates usually end with her giving me a hug,.. and that's it,.. I don't hear from her again, or if I do it's to say she wants to be my friend but she doesn't feel "chemistry".

Frankly I don't feel it either,.. that playful flirty vibe that we had on the phone and in emails is gone,..

This is the story for about the last 20 dates I've been here in CA. I met one girl here who I dated for a while, but before her the same story held true.

I think this lack of chemistry has to do with something I'm not doing, or not doing right,.. and I need your help to find out what it is. Do you have any ideas? Any questions for me?

Thanks for taking the time to read this!
Whiskey

I had this before on a first date with some girls I'd number closed.

What I learnt was to seed and nail down the 2nd date. Basically at some point through the convo I'd say that I was going shopping for something or the other and would welcome a female opinion. Normally they say yes and we'd fix the date there and then...

As for chemistry it's about kino escalation and also I found that moving to a higher energy environment worked quite well. Starbucks is nice to meet but it's relatively low energy. Plan your date a bit more than just Starbucks. Hop across the road to that other shop.

Playfully tease and neg. High-fives when necessary. While you're walking mention something about her hand i.e. ring or nail colour etc. I say this cos it's much easier to hold her hand when she shows it to you cos you're both walking.

I'm sure some of the experts on here can give you routines for kino escalation or where to read up!

Hopefully this helps mate. Remember...be comfortable in yourself and don't 'try too hard'

@Wiskey-"Talking on the phone is easy for me".

There lies your problem from your own quote.

I might be wrong here but...

You also stated that you exclusively do online- gaming.

There lies the problem again.

Some of u get so reliant on online gaming that when it comes to actually meet-up,we dont know how to interract.

I hate online gaming.

I've # closed a lot of Facebook.

But not 1 of those closes turned into a meet up.

So I work best in actual approaches which eliminates the anxiety to meet up.

Your fortee is virtual gaming.

You're so comfortable in that realm that when it comes to the meet up,you lose comfort.

So you'd need to find that balance by actually interracting more in person with ppl in general.

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I've had the same problem.

It's funny that you pull the phone comment out of my message,.. I actually don't like talking on the phone, and never do with friends, just use it to plan where we will meet up,.. but I just happen to be good at it with potential dates because I had to learn that skill to get to the next step which is the date.

So your saying I need to practice? Humph. Your right. I need to find someplace other than the internet to get some practice though, because when a girl who knows me decides I'm not worth her time after meeting it sucks much worse than the times I've been shot down at the grocery store.

It's funny that you bring up Keno Escalation too - Looking back I really didn't do that. I've bounced across the street to a interesting pet store with women that like pets, even had one girl go grocery shopping with me,.. but if I compare dates that have gone well, to ones that haven't there has always been allot more touching.

The playful teasing hasn't really happened in person either,.. It's just like,.. umm,.. that whole vibe is not there. I'm not creating that fun playful environment where we are teasing and playing with each other. What can I do to promote that? It's something that comes naturally to me, and I do regularly,.. and I have done all my life,.. but I typically know someone first I think.

Thanks for the help!
Whiskey