hey guys,

its really a stupid point but i think i am missing out on a lot by not making an eye contact.

see the problem is i get conscious every time i make an eye contact with a girl and get a feeling that she is thinking "why is he staring at me like that" and the negative responses that come along with it..

she might not be thinking that but i cannot keep keep an eye contact for more than half a second without looking away.. i get a feeling that i am stalking and staring and i get conscious. although i'd say my confidence in other aspects is very good, i escalate quite good but if i get eye contact better, things will be much more easier...

what do you guys suggest should i do to remedy this sticky point

I had this problem too and before I began to consciously notice it I'm not sure if I ever made eye contact.

Good ways to remedy this is that if you are only having problems making eye contact with random girls - use intense eye contact on your friends, family members, men, kids, or seniors. I don't mean you have to make a conversation with all of them, with little kids, they don't really know social norms so they will stare at anyone intensely. Just stare back. Make eye contact with a dog if you have to (I did).

If you're in conversation with someone, make eye contact and take a mental note of their eye color.

Another method that I learned somewhere is when watching TV show or a video, stare at the person's eyes and note their eye color as well. I did this and it works wonders.

After a while, you notice how many people break eye contact with you first because your stare is so much more intense than theirs. I sometimes make a game with it when I talk to customers. You also notice how shy some people are because they can barely look you in the eyes.

_________________
"Nothing in this life quite compares to the sweet-terrifying exhilaration of making your move. When you just put it all on the line and go for it."
-Ted, How I Met Your Mother

Something I do to try and not come off stalker like is to do frequent checks with my eyes to see if they're looking at me and once I see them looking at me, I then hold the eye contact and smile.

Sweet Dither and Ay-Jay.

Thanks guys, here's the followup.

How do I come to know whether or not the person I'm speaking to feels that I am staring at him, ie, that is he/she gets the feeling that I'm stalking staring him?

Indirectly, what is the difference between stalking or staring and intense eye contact and seductive eye contact and, you must have heard, the bedroom eye contact. 3 types here, how does one differentiate from the other?

or you could always look at her eyebrows or the bridge of her nose. both those areas are close enough to the eyes to where it will appear like you are looking her in the eyes. lol

The purpose of eye contact is to attract her. You shouldn't stare at her, just pretend that you're looking around and whenever she looks at you, look at her and give her a nice smile. However, if you already know this person and you wanna make eye contact with him during the conversation, then just look at her right pupil, move to the left one and then look at her lips, and make sure that you're smiling.

Yea it can definitely be different or weird making constant eye contact. At first. But over time you can develop holding strong eye contact. You can pretty much hold it the whole time you are chatting. She will most likely begin to shift her eye contact away from you but subconsciously this is a lite form of domination. You are showing no fear when looking at her or anxiety. She doesn't scare you, you are an alpha male! Keep practicing and try it on woman you aren't gaming. Remember it is a form of domination, don't stare constantly at men. We take it as a sign of aggression.

A polite or business eye contact lasts about 5 seconds: about time it takes you to complete a sentence. fleeting eye contact (darting) is under 2 seconds (or a few words) and you dart somewhere in space. Intimate eye contact is constant eye contact which you should give only when you get into deeper rapport.

I found that practicing with friends and post-it notes helped A LOT!

Paste a few post-it notes with smileys on chairs or a couch in your room. Open your set and hold eye contact for duration of a sentence, or about 5 seconds, then shift gaze to the next target and keep talking. if you have a web cam you can record yourself: your presentation (body language, tonality, storytelling and eye contact) will be apparent and you can take it from there. (close the door or notify your family what you rare doing... otherwise they may get worried lol)

Hold eye contact with your friends for longer than comfortable. Go all in and stare them out - test the limit when eye contact becomes too creepy. They will let you know hehe. You will start noticing few things about your friends that you never did before just by holding eye contact for a bit longer. You will see them shifting their gaze or becoming a bit more uncomfortable. With more eye contact you communicate one of the Alpha traits and they can sense it.