A couple of days ago I was at my local Wegmans shopping for some ingredients to make a Spanakopita. What is that? Not important. What is important is that while I was bagging spinach this ravishingly, beautiful and classy looking girls strolls by in the next aisle. She had short black hair, perfectly slender waist, milky white skin, and an outfit like a flamenco dancer complete with a red rose in the hair. She must have been Spanish.

As she passed by me our gazes met for just a little longer than would be natural so I sad, in a composed manner, "I like the flower, it's a nice touch"

"Oh, why thank you" she said, but kept up the walking. That was ok, I knew i'd see her again once I got my vegetables. Soon enough, I saw her by the meat and dairy.

"Hey flower girl" I said,

ok, I know I'm asking for advice but I'd like to give a little revelation I had from this as well. When you demonstrate strength or higher value, you don't have to pretend like you are the center of the universe or you are some kind of sex god. All that is necessary is to not be a stranger, and people won't treat you like one. If you have the attitude that everyone is your friend, and every hot girl is your girlfriend, that frame will be very seductive. Cocky funny is definately not the way I roll.

She says hi back, I wait until i'm past her then stop so my back is facing to her. Then she hits me with a curve that almost knocks me over.

"You know, can I tell you something, there is just something really sexy about you."

Well, I'm shocked that such a pretty girl, the kind you only see maybe once a year. Is giving me a compliment like that. I didn't waste time. i started asking things about her. But then she throws out she's got a boyfriend, I neg her for it.

"whoa, I'm just asking you for coffee, you move too fast!"

But so, end result, she just gives me her facebook. I'm fairly sure she actually has a boyfriend and that what's holding her back is that and the fact that she's just met me and doesn't know much of me. I'm having difficulty turning this attraction into any kind of results.

We've thrown a few messages back and forth now. I told her some of my background and we're really quite similar.

****you don't have to read all the really long stuff but at the end she says she can't date me because I'm religious. I feel like if I get in an argument over religion and whatever it will just end up with somebody pissed at somebody. Also, if I say religion is not that important to me I'm compromising my values for her, which I refuse.


MeAugust 15 at 11:39pm Let's be discreet with our communications, we wouldn't want your boyfriend to be unhappy, would we? I'm just a random guy that happened across your profile.

I enjoyed meeting you today. I hope I can learn a little more about you these next couple of months. .

HB10 August 16 at 12:18am I very much enjoyed meeting you as well. Unfortunately, the boyfriend already knows about you. Sorry! He isn't upset, but I shall respect your wishes to be more discreet.

I very much enjoyed meeting you as well. I don't like people much, but you strike me as very intriguing. You speak Mandarin Chinese, one of the most difficult languages to learn, at 21 years of age. Self-taught. You also cook, and you compliment random women on the flowers in their hair.

You come across as a little bit of a geek, which I like. I am a huge video game nut, and I didn't always have the social skills I have now; in other words, I come from a pretty geeky background.

So, tell me more. .

MeAugust 16 at 12:48am Totally a woman after my heart, I'm quite the gamer, well used to be. I still can't resist going on youtube every now and then to watch a playthrough. But I've decided to postpone that stage of my life to a time when I'm not able to do much else, like retirement.

I don't complement random women on the flowers in their hair, I complemented you on the flower in your hair because it looked beautiful on you. I have to tell the truth. You're the first woman I've complemented like that.

I didn't entirely teach myself mandarin, I studied Japanese by myself in highschool and I fell in love with it for some strange reason I still haven't quite figured out. I learned it to an elementary level, then I switched to Chinese when I went to college. It was the hardest decision I ever made because I was attached to my Japanese language and I'd put a lot of time into it. But I decided, Chinese presented me with the most opportunities and I still don't regret it.

You'll find Chinese people to be quite warm and hospitable once you get to know them. They are much more open and generous than the typical American. I found a lot more opportunities to practice Chinese in the states as well, so I studied it in college but I also taught myself on the side and had a tutor who taught me sometimes. End result was I can speak Chinese pretty fluently, its definately not a romantic language though. Would you believe that two of the people I studied in Beijing with also were fluent in French. That language has such a nice ring to it.

Anyway, after I left you I finally find that filo dough, although its actually spelled phyllo dough. It was in the pastry crust section of the frozen foods aile. Who knew? I'm going to make spanikopita, its my favorite Greek dish, and Greek is my favorite food, making it my favorite thing to eat period and I want to figure out how they make it. If I succeed I'll save you a piece.

So I'll tell you all the basic stuff about me so you don't have to ask all the normal boring questions:



It's funny how the dorky people with no social skills actually seem to be the more perceptive ones once they get to be adults.

I'm interested in your geeky background, since I have one too. We have something to talk about that goes beyond what we had for breakfast yesterday. Tell me more about that? .

HB10 August 16 at 1:41am Nooo, Johannes, nooo! You mustn't save me a piece, because I couldn't eat it. I'm gluten-intolerant, you see.

So, I shall satisfy your curiosity and tell you about my geeky background. I grew up on video games. I am a Legend of Zelda nut, and I am definitely an old school Nintendo girl.
I didn't have many friends in my younger years, mostly because I didn't know how to relate to people. In high school, I decided to put forth the effort to learn how to make friends. It's hard when you don't have anything to work with! It took me years, but things still aren't perfect...I speak too impulsively and honestly at times.

So my personal label of "geek" stems from my lack of innate social skills, my love of video games, and my intellect. You must know what it's like to be a "too smart" kid, yes?

The only language I speak is English. I would like to learn other languages, but I am not as motivated as you are. Time is also an issue, but I shouldn't complain; time is an issue for everyone, but that didn't stop you!

I have a black belt in Tae Kwon Do, though I haven't trained in years. I miss it. Oh, that reminds me of another geeky quality. As good as I am at beating the stuffing out of people, I was always the girl who missed the kickball in gym class. I couldn't play team sports to save my life!

Your turn again! You must also tell me where you get those muscles, please and thank you! .

Me August 16 at 5:34pm The muscles are a recent addition. I started doing p90x in Beijing with a bootleg copy I downloaded and it kinda clicked with me. I wanted to model there so that gave me some motivation to keep active. I also didn't eat a lot so that kept me in good shape. I mean i wasn't in horrible shape before either but its amazing what you can do in a few months if you put your mind to it. My pants don't fit anymore and when i wear a belt i have to go all the way the last notch which makes the waiste bunch up. And sometimes when i wear my bathing suit I end up showing more than I intended, haha.

I know how it can be when you're one way and you decide you want to change but people can't accept that. It's why I changed schools out of allendale. I always felt like my childhood never taught me what I needed to know. Send your kids to public school!

But back to you, since you are the target of my enfatuation. It's striking, I think, how similar you and I truly are. I think it's fate that brought us together.

I'll tell you a secret. I really thought you were an untouchable beauty when I saw you at first. The way you looked and moved exuded class. When you threw me a compliment I think my heart almost stopped.

You are like the ugly duckling that transformed into a beautiful swan. But its all those things that some might consider imperfections that I find most amazing. You were so blunt and unafraid and so talented as well. Beauty is common but what I found in you is hard to replicate.

It's regretful that you have a boyfriend. I would like to be the one that takes good care of you and sweeps you off your feet.

I hope fate brings us together again. .

HB10 August 16 at 6:42pm Oh, Johannes! You flatter me so easily. Strangely, I was surprised when I saw your eyes linger on me. I am used to such glances, but I rarely see guys like you giving them to me. Heck, I rarely see guys like you period. Then when we talked, you were so very interesting...

Untouchable beauty. Wow. You really are the charmer I pegged you as when we first met. It's not a bad thing, of course!

You exude an unmistakable level of maturity beyond your years, just so you know. I asked how old you were because the juxtaposition of your boyish looks and your mature presence confused me.

You wanna know how I know you and I would never work out, though? You're religious. .

Me August 16 at 7:05pm I'm not going to argue with you that directly, but why do you say that? You can't leave it there. .

HB10 August 16 at 7:09pm I'm a staunch atheist. I could never be with a religious person. .

Me August 16 at 7:13pm Fine then, go to hell. haha This could be a good or a bad thing but I find it easy to turn my religiousness on and off. I believe in God, and yet I doubt God exists, I know he doesn't. The whole idea makes no logical sense. .

Me August 16 at 7:19pm But maybe you're right about us if you can't see past something so trifling. .

Me August 16 at 7:21pm What do you look for in a guy? .

HB10 August 16 at 8:46pm Intelligence, humor, and kindness. [shrugs] The usual. He also has to agree with me on a few issues that are important to me. Religion is one of those issues. .

HB10 August 16 at 8:47pm Oh, I just saw the last message. If you don't believe in God, then why do you call yourself a Christian? .

Me August 16 at 9:12pm I think you're just making up excuses not to date me. .

Me August 16 at 9:14pm and I never said I don't believe in God .

Me August 16 at 10:20pm I doubt God's existence, read Soren Kierkegaard's statement

Faith is not a decision based on evidence that, say, certain beliefs about God are true or a certain person is worthy of love. No such evidence could ever be enough to pragmatically justify the kind of total commitment involved in true religious faith or romantic love. Faith involves making that commitment anyway. Kierkegaard thought that to have faith is at the same time to have doubt. So, for example, for one to truly have faith in God, one would also have to doubt one's beliefs about God; the doubt is the rational part of a person's thought involved in weighing evidence, without which the faith would have no real substance.

Interesting huh? .

HB10 August 16 at 10:37pm Why on earth would I need an excuse to not date you when I am taken, my dear? .

Me August 16 at 10:39pm you're not looking for an excuse for me. It doesn't matter though because I will be in DC in a couple of days. .

HB10 August 16 at 11:01pm That you will. .

Me August 17 at 12:28am Why did you want to change yourself in highschool? .

HB10 August 17 at 12:32am Because I realized that I was unintentionally being rude to people. I just didn't know how to interact with people kindly. My jokes were too dry, and I gave no indication that I was joking, so people thought I was really mean. People still have problems knowing when I am joking and when I am not sometimes, but it's not crippling to my social interactions. .

Me August 17 at 12:35am So did you have no friends before? .

HB10 August 17 at 12:48am Not really, no.


So, I hope that's not too long. I basically don't know how to continue on from here, I feel like she's kinda trailing off and not asking me anything back. My goal is to get her number, for that I need first trust, secondly, a sense of intimacy.

Help is appreciated.

_________________
--Johannes

"My notion of a wife at 40 is that a man should be able to change her, like a bank note, for two twenties." Warren Beatty

Let me first start by thanking you, why?

Because you reminded myself of my natural game before i turned to PUA, the only thing i was lacking on the mainstream section was confidence, which made me forgot about my natural game and lead me toward CF + Tease, so thank you

I will now use some more of my older style

~~~~~~~~~~~

And i think you had her in a snakes grip until this religion issue, she has trailed off and it seems her attraction switch is hit to the big no no once religion is input onto her.

DAMN i do feel for you, you were doing so well... im sure you may be able to pull back, but she is VERY insistent on not dating religious people and you seem by that quote by 'soren kierkegaard' you are quite the religious one, its hard to work around an issue like this, but it can be done.. although probably not with someone so focused on not believing...

I personally do believe in something creating us, but to be honest thats as most as i can say, oh and there is probably something else after life...

The very best of luck!!

Personally, I think the religion thing is this high-brow, intellectual chick's version of a shit test and you need to have dealt with it accordingly. You see, she probably DOES have a boyfriend and you started to get her all hot and bothered ...so her ASD kicks in and out comes the shit test - her attempt to insert logic into an emotional situation and see if she can knock you off your rhythm - lest she loose control.

Unfortunately...

yeah, so my strategy after that was to throw that, "oh, you're just making up excuses" statement as a way to knock her off balance. I thought she would come out and defend herself, get emotional, and then I would change the subject and be back on top. Unfortunately, she just brings up the boyfriend issue again which brings me back to square one on this. She's smart...

To straight up: Your welcome, really hot girls in my life seem to always have horrible timing. Soren Kierkegaard is an awesome philosopher by the way, he's the only philosopher I know who wrote a book about PUA. The Seducer's Diary, I've found some useful stuff in there, most importantly being the use of mutual secrets to rapidly create a trust bond. The main character's name is Johannes, hence why I use the alias.

I'm just going to let it cool off for a couple of days, I guess. Then resume some kind of contact, too bad it's almsot not worth it becuse I was serious about me going to DC.

Since she seems kind of artistic maybe i should show her a few excerpts from this book I've been writing, not too much, just a taste(since I only have 8 pages or something anyway). Then maybe she'll want to know more, because it reveals me as a person and its interesting. It has to do with a young CIA officer during the fall of the Soviet Union.

That's all the bait I've got left, if she doesn't bite, I dunno.

_________________
--Johannes

"My notion of a wife at 40 is that a man should be able to change her, like a bank note, for two twenties." Warren Beatty

You have an interesting chick here. I really like this post and here's why. For twelve years I was an aspiring classical musician and in that time I met a lot of girls just like this - very high brow, very intellectual ...head way too deep in books and study to make friends. Despite her HB10 status, your girl is quite socially awkward. But not in a bad way. She's awkward in a way that people of superior intellect are inherently prone, meaning she's at the extreme end of a bell curve and therefore almost always feels lonely (even with the boyfriend). Remember that the best thing you have to offer this girl is social proof. She's interested in your intellect only because it allows you to speak a common language (an entry barrier, if you will). What she really wants from you is to make her feel popular. So do that! I say take dating off the table (it only activates her ASD) and stop talking about intellectual pursuits (you've already made that point). Instead, invite her to some upbeat social gathering. Tell her you're leaving soon and dating makes no sense anyway but that you find her fascinating, that you never meet smart girls like her and would like to be her friend I suppose you'd have to manufacture the social occasion but I'm guessing that's not a problem for you. Then work relentlessly on getting her into a fun, relaxed, increasingly flirtatious state. This is your goal - not closing. Work hard enough on her state and she'll close you. She's desperate to have this.

That's my take anyway...