Let me say off the bat that I am not a PUA and am new the community. I'll be the first to admit that my game has a hole the size of the grand canyon that I have yet to figure out. Here's where I'm at - I can close very easily, I have good inner game, have no problem approaching and opening and my physical presentation is all in order. However, I have terrible mid game. I mean abysmally non-existent!

Example - just ten minutes ago I'm sitting in my workplace and this girl comes in to talk to me (apparently she a new intern of the landlord and needed to drop off some forms - about a HB7 on my own scale.) So I stand and talk to her, I've got strong body language, good eye contact, a dominant frame, deep voice etc. (projecting formal authority) and she's giving me plenty of IOI's - batting her eyelashes, giving flirty smiles, looking me up and down, good compliance but she's also got this shy, nervous thing happening - fidgeting, primping, stammering a bit while she talks, averting her eyes every few seconds. It's clear that she's attracted and interested but completely uncomfortable and I haven't a clue how to get past it. Now this wasn't a context where sarging was appropriate and that was not my intent, but this girl's reaction is a fairly common one which brings me to the next part of my problem. My areas of personal interests are so wildly different than your typical HB that I don't even try talking about them; ergo I don't know how to keep a conversation going (no mid-game). The sarge just stalls and I eject even while she's waiting for me to make her feel comfortable.

I know I could learn a bunch of canned routines (i.e. the Mystery Method) but that's just not my style - I feel delivering canned material equals supplicating women and doing so would undermine my firmly internalized frame (for the MM guys, this is an "it's true because I believe it to be true" thing and just has to be accepted.) Same goes for a lot of the rapport building techniques like matching, pacing and mirroring - too supplicating.

As I analyze my historic successes it seems that there has almost always been an intermediary person in the sarge (a wing if you will even though neither I or they ever considered or realized they were acting in that capacity) who built the comfort into the dynamic. The typical scenario is that I meet a girl in an exchange like the one described above, I hit the same road block and eject before things become awkward - most importantly though, she's still attracted at the end of our exchange. Then at a party or a bar or something, I see her again but she's with a friend or I'm with a friend who provides a more relaxed vibe and I'm able to immediately kino escalate and close. It works but it leaves me dependent on circumstances/individuals outside of myself to bust through the road block and this is unacceptable to me.

So there you have it guys - tell me how I build comfort in a nervous girl within the context of my frame and without relying on supplicating techniques or canned material?

I'm gunna keep this short and sweet my friend. Get a nervous girl to talk about herself, the positives - achievements, goals and ambitions, friends, hobbies, music etc. This will put her at ease as she's talking about positive aspects of her own lifestyle, things that she doesnt need to feel defensive about. Also I'd try talking about yourself more, take the excess heat of the conversation that she cant handle or that makes her nervous away from her.

A personal favourite is to do a routine or two that brings in a playful element into the interactione - eg guessing games, ESP, cold reading etc etc. A number between 1 and 4 is almost always 3, maybe the 5-lies-game (ask if you need that explaining as its especially perfect for setting up a date/ forfeit of a pint etc). Remember, smiling is the key in this, positive body language makes me better than most AFCs that arn't in the community.

Lemme know how it goes dude!!




GrifterUK!

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