My problem right now is making the conversation fun and spontaneous instead of just regular boring stuff. Like where are you from? What do you do and so on?

This goes for people i've just met. I've thought back about "old success" in recent time, from before i started reading up about pick up. And what i realized was that i usually get people attracted after knowing them for a while. For instance most of the girls that got attracted to me were either friends of friends, or in my class. This way there where always other people around helping to carry the conversation, and it was easier for me to lean back and just make the occasional joke or teasing remark. I guess this made me look good because the other people where trying harder to make conversation than me. I guess that made them lower value than me.

So when i meet people i don't know, i'm the one approaching and i need to at least hook them. But i'm struggling to make it fun and spontaneous. It usually seems very forced, some weird silences and so on. It becomes the usual "whats your name?, where are you from?, what do you do?" stuff, and that's bad!

I've also read that in the beginning you shouldn't ask that many questions, is that correct? 90% SPAM and 10% questions or something like that?

- So how do you make great conversations without asking that many questions?
- What are conversation topics that work well with women?
- How do you speak with people that you don't know?

Usually when you know somebody, you have common interests, friends and so on. And they usually just talk about whatever because they know you, and want to share stuff with you. And that usually makes good conversations. But how do you make conversations without this knowledge?

- How do you make conversations flow and not seem forced?
- How do you flip the switch and make them qualify themselves to you? Make them talk about themselves. Instead of you trying to make conversation, talking about yourself, qualifying yourself. Because everybody wants to talk about themselves.. People talking more than me would play to my strengths, since i am a good listener, and i am decent on controlling the frame even if i'm not talking the most.

DHV stories aren't really an option, thats not me nor will it ever be. That just seems fake to me. But having a naturally funny conversation is totally me, but i have no idea how to do it with people i don't know..

Some feedback and advice would be great, i know there are people with some great knowledge out there who can help me If you have any questions just ask..

Thanks

Anyone?

I also have this problem and would like to hear tips and advices from someone more experienced (me being a newbie )

When I talk to only a few people i feel that sometimes the conversations feel awkward, forced and boring. Other people can have very interesting and fun conversations and be that interesting guy.

I've tried to watch some stand-up comedy on youtube aswell as trying to joke around with my friends more. if there are any better advices or even exercises, I would love to hear them

Are you relaxed around the girl you are talking with? When you are nervous you will get thoughts like: 'what should I say'

I do feel a bit tense when talking to women. Sometimes when just walking down a street with them or at a cafe, there are moments of silence that makes me think "i should say something or else she gets bored". However, often is that i don't come up with something clever and interesting :/

Can someone please either:
Link somewhere that i can read about and learn about the subject?
Write something that can help me?

I really struggle with this guys, and i would really appreciate all the advice you might have. I have tried to work it out with experience, and even though i'm calmer when i talk to strangers, it still becomes a really boring. Read my opening post if for more information about my situation.

Nr2