Hi people,

I need advice on ejecting or walking away while on a day 2 or date. I realised last night after a fairly torturous dull longwinded date with an unresponsive girl that I have not been qualifying girls to see if they meet my standards and criteria, and I have not been walking away when it's clear that things are headed nowhere.

One thing I can think of is to always have very short day 2s, limit it to 15 minutes and be be ultra strict about it. NO exceptions. If it goes good then extend or plan another one. If it goes bad then not much time lost.

Any experiences or advice in this area.

Excuse yourself to the mens room. Set an alarm on your phone to go off in X min. When it goes off, get an annoyed look and your face.

*Alarm goes off*
You:" -sigh- Theres something going on at the office, I have to go."

LEAVE quickly, remember your boss/supervisor/little brother/blah blah blah just rang ya/texted so its time to GO.

Lol, I learned this from my friends wife.

Kind of sneaky.An option to consider. A variation of that is to actually plan ahead and get a friend to call at a designated time towards the end of the scheduled date. Could work as social proofing or an emergency exit.

I think for myself I have to either;

set a short time limit for the day 2 as said before

relish the uncomfortable silences and wait for them to fill the voids and if they don't politely say it's not working and go, if they do then I think it can be a big IOI. I am thinking of letting the silence go on as long as possible until they crack. I'm thinking in terms of a couple of minutes. I think women should be able to hold a decent conversation for a few minutes.

another option is to leave and make them aware that they haven't contributed to 'keeping it alive'.

I think part of the problem lies earlier and I've let these dull ones through my filter. I'll have to screen them before even meeting.

Yeah, you could arrange for a friend to call, but people sometimes forget stuff. If you have a blackberry/iphone/droid there are APPS that simulate a person calling.

I wouldn't just abruptly leave, I like to leave doors cracked open, a shitty day 2 can always turn into a good pivot or wing woman later.

Hey, skypirate1965. Still in Switzerland?

Maybe it's true that there's more you could do beforehand to qualify girls, but don't be too hard on yourself. Sometimes we know for sure right away that a girl is wrong for us, but usually early judgment falls into a gray zone, and so a Day 2 gives us a better glimpse. That said, I agree that it's a good idea to keep a time limit on Day 2's. I've been doing that pretty consistently for a while now, and I'm really pleased with the approach. As you said, if things are going well, you can always extend or make plans for another time. If not, you've got a closed-ended time frame. Another option, which I've also tried to good effect, is to make back-to-back plans with two different girls; that way, you have twice as good a chance of having a fun day/evening. I usually make the earlier plans with the one I'm less interested in, so that I have a built-in time constraint for myself and so that, even if the first Day 2 isn't much fun, I've had a little warm-up before my second one.

In general, though, I think that life is too short to spend more than a little time with someone who's boring. If the girl is contributing little or nothing to the conversation, make your apologies but do what you have to do to get the hell out of there.

Hi Ciornia,

thanks for your mail. Yes I'm still in Switzerland. I think I'll give it til 2011 and if things are still bad then I'll move back to England. The longer I'm here, the more I'm convinced that the locals and ex pats who've been here for years are braindead sheep. I won't go into a mega-moan about the country except to say that it's more dull than you'd think.

The alarm thing is a good idea too. I think a combination of screening at source by making my online profile specify a few things, setting a short timespan for a meet and letting them try to fill any gaps will be the way forward.

Setting multiple meets/dates on a day is a good idea also. For me I've had evenings where I've had 2 or 3 dates. Can do your head in though!