Me again,

I was feeling Uber-Low today after overhearing a convo going on next to me between a decent chick (8??) and another who I wouldn't do but for some reason she thinks she's hot shit. Let's call her 6 (I don't like the whole HB tag if you don't actually find them hot). Yeah, so anyway I vaguely know these people but they don't know me.

The 6 says "god, look at this place, there's no decent guys here'. Wow, that hurts. I was sitting there thinking 'gosh I just tried to better myself and already it's as if I've done nothing, chicks still think I'm ugly'.

The 8 then starts talking about her 'awesome' boyfriend and pulls up his Facebook page. Naturally he's some douchebag that's at least 5 years older. This knocks me down even further, knowing that a) this chick is taken and b) I can see the sort of tools that get good looking chicks.

Lastly the 8 starts talking about her 30 yr old friend at work who she likes. We're 19. Screw this. How the hell do I compete when there's a stupid crazy age barrier? It's out of my control now, it's not what I'm doing, it's just instant disqualification based on my age.

It just seems like I don't fit with the sort of guy a girl wants, and no amount of 'game' or whatever will work as they already have this dumb criteria I can't match. I'm also in the bad position that I can't do the same these douches do because that would be illegal and wrong, since I really have only the scope of about a year (I really don't want to date schoolchildren, even though it's only about two years below. It's just wrong.)

Bah. Can you really 'trick' women into liking you? it seems people have no interest in me due to this stupid criteria. I mean, I notice a LOT of people here are older, so it could be possible that you just fit this criteria with younger women. I'm down in the dumps as I think it's pretty hopeless now.

Sorry for the rant, it seems to serve no purpose but I find it therapeutic to vent my frustration.

my friend.

i think i share/have shared your frustrations....


my personal experience says...

there seems to be an 'optimal' age difference in my opinion. something like 3-4 years seems ideal.

i came to this realisation when i was 15-16 and the insanely hot girls in my school year were only dating/blagging 17-18 year old boys. then as the years passed, that gap broadened slightly. when i became 18-19 i realised that it was now my turn to get the 16-17 year old girls and so on, then when i was 20-21 getting any girls from ages of around 17-18 became no problem.

I think its just a natural cycle, that you kinda have to wait your turn, and your glory will come!

my problem is coming out the other side. I'm now 24, and beginning to notice that im no longer in the ideal category for an 18/19 year old girl. Although i do beleive when ur into your 20s and even 30s the 'optimal' age gap, broadens quite significantly. I think i have just ascended into a new tier. I'm an 'old 24' as im very tall, mature looking, and completely shaven headed (therapy for going bald) so, i think i am more attractive to girls in their mid-20s now.

I think you need to identify your optimal age group, and adjust to suit. I've given up on teenage girls now, as i dont think they are bothered, and neither am i tbh.

But you're 19, you are very very close to getting into the zone, where you can clean-up with girls aged 16-19.

Good luck my friend!!!

The need for an age gap is ridiculous in my opinion. It's not that these older guys have something special that you don't. The way I look at it is that they are different, more mature, which is attractive. With that in mind, just act mature, be alpha and you will do fine. Believe me, just as many girls are dating guys their age as there are ones dating guys 5+ years older.

Can't let little details like that bog you down man Just keep working towards the goal. With motivation, the right materials, and some effort you can go anywhere.

Cheers

_________________
If you wait to do everything until you're sure it's right, you'll probably never do much of anything.

Fair enough!

I'm 29, nearly 30 and I seem to have the best luck with girls 20 or under. I don't actually go out of my way to do this (I don't exactly ask them their age when I meet them), it just seems to happen. Right now I'm seeing an 18 year old and a 19 year old. I have a friend who's turning 40 next year that's been in a relationship with a now 25 year old for 6 years. I don't think there's a set age gap thing, experience tells me you can be older and still get much younger girls.

If anything I'm at a disadvantage with older girls because they expect more. I'm an immigrant here and I don't have a lot of stuff, house, car, etc. so most girls around my age probably see me as immature. Most of the older girls (ie. 27+) are looking to settle with someone and have kids, and I think I don't project that well. So even if I'd like to date a 29 year old for some reason, I'm stuck with early 20s.

Probably that doesn't help you much, except so you know that it gets better in time.

Perhaps you should think about what attracts them to these older guys? Are you one of those stereotypical 19 year old guys? To me that's more likely to be an issue than what your age actually is. A stereotypical 19 year old might seem pretty sophisticated to a 16 year old in high school, but probably not to a 19 year old in college. Grooming, composure, etc. will help a lot. An older guy typically has more experience in life, and that usually portrays confidence, especially when dealing with someone younger. You can portray maturity in your demeanor, your style, etc.

Or even easier, you can just be a 19 year old and not worry about trying to get a serious relationship with a girl; girls out for fun usually don't worry about your age. That's what I'd do if I was 19.

Also I should add that I'm from Australia originally, and I remember girls there at that age. Most of them made me miserable too. Some Aussie girls will get a kick out of trying to emasculate you. They have a particular bitch shield, you've got to be sure of yourself.

Dude, I'm an old man at 20(the military ages the shit out of you) and I'm currently in Fuck buddy status with a 31 year old, and dating a 30 year old on n off. Age barriers DO EXIST to some degree(in my opinion) but only with certain types of women. The gal that wants to spend all her time in bars or clubs is most likely gonna go for the men who can at least purchase drinks/get into the place.As long as you're mature and can make women see that you'll be find.

You're just looking for an external factor to blame your failures on as opposed to taking responsibility for them on your own. Very few women in the world can properly elucidate exactly what it is they find attractive in a man, so "mature and self-confident" becomes conflated with "older" because older men tend to be more mature and self-confident. Understand, it is the BEHAVIOR, not the AGE, that they find attractive. They just don't know it yet.

But that really doesn't matter, because it's implicit in your post that you'd rather complain and feel sorry for yourself than actually put forth real effort or risk. This negative attitude permeates around you like a fucking cloud, dude. If I can sense it as a random person who doesn't even know you across the internet, imagine how the people who DO know you and see you in person must feel. Change that and you will see success.

By the way, I'm 22 and my girlfriend is going to be 27 in February. As the old techno song says, "age ain't nuthin' but a numba."

Your boy,
870

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"Do not blame, call out, alpha male, superman, or water sprinkle any hoes. And what will be, will be." -Hobbit

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Girls say that, but you can ignore age. No girl will be like, "how old are you? Go away then"
It really is the "maturity/confidence" blah blah blah that allegedly comes with it, and you just need to be able to calibrate. I'm hardly an amazing PUA but at 18 I was seeing a 25 yr old at one point, and I'm 21 now, and last girl I got with was 25 again. I think the youngest has only been one maybe 2 years below in the last couple years. No ones gonna ask your age, its just that what these girls you're talking about are looking for, happens to be the traits older guys tend to have. Doesn't mean you can't too.

Kinda the same way girls might like rich guys. Ent the cash, its the confidence it gives them, you can have the traits without the "rest" of it.