I really need some stock material for when a girl or a guy is making jokes at my expense. I'm really sick of feeling defenseless and hoping people won't make sarcastic jokes about me. I need comebacks for such jokes related to me being gay, being a sketch/being sketchy, or going for little girls. Don't bother posting just methods of naturally doing this, I really need stock comebacks. Thanks

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Looking for wingman in Austin - get at me 435-272-2265

If your really into pick up it doesnt really matter what other people say about you being gay or sketchy, or even going for young girls . Talk is cheap . Do your thing man your gonna let stupid immature comments make you feel like shit Com On man

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When life gives you lemons find some coronas

But its a terrible DLV to stand there defenseless when a girl makes a sarcastic joke about you. Its a big DHV to be prepared with witty comebacks and I do not have the reaction time to come up with these on the spot. Hence why I asked for stock comebacks so any would be appreciated and please don't post a response unless you have some. Thanks

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Looking for wingman in Austin - get at me 435-272-2265

Having stock comebacks to such things is not going to do you much good. I bet your frame is not that strong, because these people are making jokes at your expense which would not happen or happen a lot less if you had a stronger frame. You do need to learn to think on your feet tho, which I am sure you realize. But while you work on that, when people make these jokes at your expense laugh with them. Being able to take a joke can do you a lot of good socially speaking. As a lot of people throw these jokes at you to test you really.

At large, I think you first need to find what to reframe you and everyone else to, those "rap battles" won't get you anywhere with a chick or create a social standard.


(I feel like I'm rewriting borat but thats what comes to my head).

you having sex with their mothers:
(you gay -> your mama must be a man then)

"that's what she said" [I HATE this but if you don't..]

take proud of bad stuff, then compare it to the other guy
"I was damn good at it but you were the master"


hit back with a smile, keep track of posture and tonality. these are the most important parts.



This is for a start and a band-aid only, work on inner game, play the social ladder better.


war is bad for business. keep in mind.

I read a bunch of threads last night, and of all the ones I skimmed over, this one popped into my head whilst in a moment of idle thought while driving to work, and I was thinking about what is really obvious to me from reading it. So I figure this one I have to come back and answer.

What is obvious to me is your frame of mind. You are so worried about having comebacks, that you aren't in the moment, you aren't picking up on the vibe that could let you see it as funny instead of it being a negative about you, and you are so angry about it you are getting very aggressive about what needs to be done.

Blocking any input except for what you think you need is not the answer. This is exactly the behavior that's keeping you where you are. The answer is something you don't know, and you won't hear it because you've just accepted your version of the reality and are blocking out everything else.

You don't NEED witty comebacks. You NEED a positive frame of mind. If you're just sitting there worrying about how bad something someone said makes you look, of course nothing to respond with will come to mind. And anything that DOES come out of your mouth is gonna be negative and aggressive sounding, even if you say it with a smile or a laugh, and it WILL kill the mood.

Some situations need a comeback, some don't even need one. The ones that do, don't necessarily even need one that good. The ones that don't are things that may seem negative to you in your negative frame of mind, but are actually not that bad, and in fact just harmless fun and banter.

And here's the clincher - there are NO canned responses that can save you. You can't even come close to being able to logically rehearse and retain 1% of the possible come backs that will help you in all the possible situations you could be in.

This is all about frame of mind. Only when you're relaxed will decent things to say come to mind. You don't have to be a world famous comedian. You just need to be happy and relaxed and out to have a good time.

Response to gay comments, (assuming the comment is from a guy)
"ahhh looks like someone needs a date" "I told you no already, don't make me reject you in front of your friends"

cracks about you liking little girls,
Laugh at them and say "Your just afraid I'm moving in on your territory" (if said by a guy"
If said by a girl look at her with a smirk and say, "no...i like big girls...just not THAT big." Make sure you nod in her direction as you say it.

I tend to have a quick wit and have put people in their place many times. It is an art, but I'm happy to hel if I can.

I compeltely agree with what was said about your frame up above. Remember that a DLV can also be a DHV if delivered in the correct way. you need to be able to laugh at yourself in order to have the proper frame. I do understand how you're feeling as I'm much the same way with my sticking points (ignore everything which will probably be more help to me than what i think). Anyway, the point is is that you don't defend yourself but you jump along with the conversation.
If someone gave me a gay comment I may pass it on as a false disqualifier if the time was right. You can also turn it around to the bloke and say something like "hey man, are you looking for someone too?! We could be a great couple!".
"guys are just ugly girls" (maybe Mystery?) Court them as you would a women. Be the bigger man and befriend them.
It may be that you're doing something wrong earlier in the set to lose value in this way but just take it on the chin. Keep calm and it will come through with practise.
I know it's not what you were after but hope this helps

Niceboy

Comebacks won't save you.
I think you have to sit down and re-evaluate yourself, and your beliefs. There is more, but I'm not going to go on if your not interested in hearing it. At the same time I have to point out that there is no hope for you, no matter how many lines you remember.

My 2 cents, pm me for more info.

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GORAN IS STRONG!

Ok, just because I like jokes...

Seriously why even bother. Thats the general feeling you gotta give them.

1. You are gay!
Yeah, I know, and its so annoying, I keep having sex with all these girls and I dont even like it. It makes me sick, SICK I tell you!

2. You are a loser.
Well, at least I dont wet my bed... wait, I do, but tell anyone.

3. You are going for little girls.
Better than going for small boys.

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"Humour. It is a difficult concept" -- Saavik

Wow, when did the Marvel Super Hero Squad join the forum?

kinda goin on what ezo said cause he has got it right there.

if your crap at combacks the easiest thing to do is just agree with wat ever they said and add a little something to it.

if you watch some comedians alot of the time when they get heckled they agree with whoever first then turn it all around.

ezo examples are a good start

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outsourcing my jokes since 1988