from friend to smth more



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A Sticking Point or SP is an issue you CONSISTENTLY run into.

It is NOT a point where you get stuck with ONE SPECIFIC GIRL.

A Sticking Point is:
Quote:
I keep getting LMR whenever I bring girls back to my place. This has happened at least 10 times already! What am I doing wrong?
A Sticking Point is NOT:
Quote:
I got LMR with this one girl! What do I do?
IT IS AGAINST THIS BOARD'S RULES TO POST THREADS ABOUT JUST ONE GIRL
If you have not already gone out and practiced enough to have a real Sticking Point from meeting an ABUNDANCE of women, YOU DO NOT DESERVE TO POST HERE.



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 Post subject: from friend to smth more
PostPosted: Wed Sep 02, 2009 8:04 pm 
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hey,
Well it's the first post for me so don't judge mine english very much :D
the deal is like that:
I'm studying abroad, just started, and I met this realy HB.
She is from the same country like me.
Since we both choose the same study program we spend a lot of time together, BUT our group has only 2 chicks so you can imagine the situation.
Almost all time in the school we spend together, and after school it's just only the two of us going home together.
Since now our relationship was great, BUT as I can see if we keep up like that I'm gonna be just friend ( and that's sucks).
Right now I am with her funny, cocky, kind of open up to her.
What I want is transfer from just friend to couple.
the deal is, it's hard from funny,joking, become romantic and etc.
have anyone any idea what and how should I do? :?:


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:56 am 
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take that leap and ask her on a DATE. make it just the two of you!

after the date, if its nice GO FOR A WALK. itll be nice. have some conversation topics ready. KINO KINO KINO! TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH! dont be sleezy but hold hands, hugs, kisses.

a wise man once said, " One dance, one look, one kiss, that's all we get, Albert. Just... one shot, to make the difference between happily ever after, and oh? he's just some guy I went to some thing with once. "

hope this helps,
-dw3llz

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Sep 03, 2009 2:31 pm 
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Could be that you haven't set yourself up romantically, so asking her out on a date might seem out of the blue.

If it was me in this situation - been friends for a while and no obvious attraction signs from her, I would test the waters with some dialogue. Slip in some suggestive remarks or jokes into the conversation and see how she reacts. If she laughs and makes suggestive marks back, or later on, or even starts flirting by touching, then that's a cue to go ahead. If she just laughs and keeps things friendly, then either your approach/attitude needs work or she just isn't into you.


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:09 pm 
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yeahhh, KINO is soooo important!!!


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:25 pm 
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Quote:
take that leap and ask her on a DATE. make it just the two of you!

after the date, if its nice GO FOR A WALK. itll be nice. have some conversation topics ready. KINO KINO KINO! TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH! dont be sleezy but hold hands, hugs, kisses.

a wise man once said, " One dance, one look, one kiss, that's all we get, Albert. Just... one shot, to make the difference between happily ever after, and oh? he's just some guy I went to some thing with once. "

hope this helps,
-dw3llz
about the topic:
what kind of topics it should be?
something more personal - about our ex-girl/boyfriend?
or more straight - about us as a couple?
what kind of conversation it should be: in jokes form or total serious? :?

I know that kino is very important, but then I try it she isn't answering into it very well, sometimes she just recide like :o
now then I think, I should try tomorrow if possible to try more kino and look how she react into it
Quote:
Could be that you haven't set yourself up romantically, so asking her out on a date might seem out of the blue.

If it was me in this situation - been friends for a while and no obvious attraction signs from her, I would test the waters with some dialogue. Slip in some suggestive remarks or jokes into the conversation and see how she reacts. If she laughs and makes suggestive marks back, or later on, or even starts flirting by touching, then that's a cue to go ahead. If she just laughs and keeps things friendly, then either your approach/attitude needs work or she just isn't into you.
yep you're right, up till now it was communication like between friends so it would seem that way.
I'm trying tease her a little, trying to change the topics which could transform into flirting, but she takes it as a jokes - that's the problem..
It's just that she don't pick up these nags, If I start flirting more seriously don't you think that this might freak her out and it might be over?


Last edited by xtremalas on Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:53 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Sep 03, 2009 5:53 pm 
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conversational topics: ANYTHING INTERESTING. dont bring up the past relationship, or your future one, let it play out. DHV if possible, just try to keep things exciting so she doesnt get bored.

if the conversation at all stops awkwardly, and its night time, take her hand (you should already be holding it on the walk!) stop the walk, look up at the stars, and say "thats my favorite constellation, the ____, back when i was young, my mother and I blah blah blah." gets her charmed.

gl
-dw3llz

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-dw3llz


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Sep 04, 2009 3:32 am 
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In my experience, "exact instructions" that people give you are just more data to put into your head and assist you in making a decision. Do not follow instructions letter for letter, because this stuff must come from you, not a script. It just doesn't work otherwise. But if you have a script, and you literally have nothing to say, you may as well go for broke and use it. But sometimes silence is better. That's just something you have to feel your way through.

So, she treats your flirts like jokes. You have to kind of work out whether this is innocent, or she is actually seeing what you're doing and intentionally brushing it off. Either way you need to change your approach.

In my experience, if you just simply turn up the dial, it's got a risk of being too forced, and generally could freak her out. My feeling about this situation is you have to change your tact. Instead of directly cracking on to her, you could take her out to a party and flirt with girls right in front of her, to see how she reacts. Of course you may not be able to set this situation up easily intentionally, but if opportunities like this arise, you need to be looking for them to take them.

Also you could talk in a way that can also cause this. If you look at The Office, every time the young guy talks about another girl, the receptionist girl gets very obviously awkward, because she's jealous.

So try something more indirect - you have to think for yourself about what else you could try though.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Sep 04, 2009 10:41 am 
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Excuse my lack of intelligence, i have looked a few times over the forum but cannot find it, what is KINO?

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Sep 04, 2009 2:39 pm 
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When in doubt, google search "PUA Acronyms" and you will find a few pages with a full list. Kino is colloquial for "Kinesthetic interaction", which means touching, pretty much. In this context it means flirting or comfort building by touching, anything from patting her on the shoulder to holding hands.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Sep 04, 2009 8:37 pm 
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Quote:
In my experience, "exact instructions" that people give you are just more data to put into your head and assist you in making a decision. Do not follow instructions letter for letter, because this stuff must come from you, not a script. It just doesn't work otherwise. But if you have a script, and you literally have nothing to say, you may as well go for broke and use it. But sometimes silence is better. That's just something you have to feel your way through.

So, she treats your flirts like jokes. You have to kind of work out whether this is innocent, or she is actually seeing what you're doing and intentionally brushing it off. Either way you need to change your approach.

In my experience, if you just simply turn up the dial, it's got a risk of being too forced, and generally could freak her out. My feeling about this situation is you have to change your tact. Instead of directly cracking on to her, you could take her out to a party and flirt with girls right in front of her, to see how she reacts. Of course you may not be able to set this situation up easily intentionally, but if opportunities like this arise, you need to be looking for them to take them.

Also you could talk in a way that can also cause this. If you look at The Office, every time the young guy talks about another girl, the receptionist girl gets very obviously awkward, because she's jealous.

So try something more indirect - you have to think for yourself about what else you could try though.
this post seriously get into my head.
I think I get everything you was saying and gonna try it out.
Besides talking with other girls do you think it would work if I start to pay more attention to other in the class ( including guys) than her? Since we the only ones from the same country I think it might cost her jealousy, BUT it also could hurt her emotions.. :roll:


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Sep 05, 2009 3:52 am 
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yes it would be a great idea to socialize! and i totally agree with not following exact instructions! but some lines are very useful so i like to share

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Sep 05, 2009 6:57 pm 
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Quote:
Besides talking with other girls do you think it would work if I start to pay more attention to other in the class ( including guys) than her? Since we the only ones from the same country I think it might cost her jealousy, BUT it also could hurt her emotions.. :roll:
You just have to try things and watch for her reactions. It may be instant or it may take a month, who knows. You kind of have to feel your way through it. But you should try, and learn from it.


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