My problem that's eating at me is, why is it easier to have sex than to have a relationship and connect on a deep level with a women far beyond sex. For me i can easily have sex but it's nearly impossible for me to really get to know women and for them to know who i really am far beyond just sparks the pua.. And eventually end up being with someone.. The whole smooth player vibe that women naturally read of me is ok, but I have far more substance than just being that, just sucks no one sees the other dimensions of me.

I kinda feel like i've hardwired that as my natural personality for soo long that women see me as a good time to dance with, make out, and sleep with, but not someone to actually get to know and date?
I do blame most of it on myself because I want that but subconsciously i don't let it happen. I put a wall up so women don't get to know me thus giving me a day or two of pleasure haha and possibly making me the loneliest man in the world.

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I made the mistake of being charming and handsome... I apologize

You pretty much answered your own question:
People in general are afraid/scared/whatever to open up to others and have that emotional connection with someone else. As I think in general people are sacred to get hurt emotionally if things don't work out.

I'd say you are afraid of yourself. Deep down inside their is something you are deeply ashamed of (and whatever it is, it probably isn't that big of a deal), and you are afraid that if any woman would get close enough to you, they would discover the real you and reject you for it.

Or childhood events have caused you to associate relationships with pain, and therefore you avoid intimacy because you believe it will either result in you inflicting or receiving emotional pain.

But then again I don't really know you, so I could be wrong about everything.

I agree, that is my first thought - you're afraid of what will happen.

The first phase of solving a problem is by realizing it. After that you have to confront it. If you ever had any problems with AA/ or any psychological setbacks like social anxiety etc. it is fairly the same.

The fear you feel is a lack of security or validation which leads to security. However, the only way of obtaining it is by trying just like with AA.

A tip I saw Adam Lyons giving on his thread a couple of days ago sounded like:

Try to do normal things with the girls you are interested in, like taking them out shopping, at a movie etc. It will probably make them think of you in a more relationship-oriented way.

I'm in the same boat and I agree with what the guys said above. Often times, its a fear of someone getting too close and you getting hurt. In my experience, its the result of seeing how shitty my folks marriage was. Its at the point where, as soon as I start getting serious, I subconsciously work to find faults to make me leave her, always resulting in a huge blowup, and leaving her worse for knowing me... Believe me, it sucks dude