Guys I need some serious advice and guidance from some masters of the game.

The situation

Met at about 6pm, I opened a HB8.5 as part of my day game and took her for a coffee.

She is leaving the country in five days to start a new life.

Did the cube but she was not too interested in the interpretation, she did not
even ask for me to tell her what it meant.

Did five questions on her which she loved and got her to pay for the coffee.
We went so diner, which I paid just to be fair.

Bounced to drinks at another place, played rock paper scissors to see who would pay for the drinks, I lost.

I tried to get back to her place but she was not interested. We n-closed - she asked me to phone my number from her phone). She asked me to call her to arrange coffee the next day. We parted company about midnight.

Day 2
Called to meet up, she wanted to meet at 2pm, I said that I was not free until 4pm so we met at 4pm.

Went for a walk around a gallery, then for a coffee which she bought for me.

Another walk along the river to a bar on a boat and a drink.

Walk in the park to another venue where we sat and talked for about 30-45mins.

Walked to a restaurant for diner. We split the bill there.

Walked to a coffee bar for some coffee.

Walk in the park where I tried to escalate. There was light kino earlier on both days. I now tried to escalate to the kiss but was not successful. By now my intentions were clear. My frame was now fairly sexual.

We walked and then sat down again and she gave me a hand massage, I stroked her hair, lightly massaged her face, tried to kiss again but no success.

We walked back to her hotel and had a night cap in the bar.

While we sat I offered to come up to her room and give a full body massage but she kept saying no.

We chatted and around midnight again she walked me to the bus stop and when i was in the bus waved bye bye to me.

Day 3
She emailed to say that she was free from 11.30 – 2.30pm.

We met up at 12.30pm and went for a coffee where she told me that she is seeing someone, as his mistress. Yes, she has been seeing a married man (of similar age to myself although I look a younger than I am) for the last 2 ½ years. They meet up on business trips because they are in the same business. He does not want her to see other men.

We walked around a bit then went for another coffee.

We parted company at 3.30pm because I had to get going.


Advice and Guidance please.

I am finding that I have feelings for this girl but I really do not want to, she smokes and I do not like smokers. When I look at her I melt inside. I managed to maintain some composure though. She has this innocence and vulnerability about her, (She is 23). She is very pretty and told me that she gets hit on a lot. I know there is absolutely no future between me and her yet my heart pines for her. I really did love spending time with her.

Am I experiencing AFC reversion syndrome?

Can someone explain this chick to me please, I am too close to think straight.

What is she after?

She said that she would rather have half of something than nothing at all. She has had a hard life, brother killed himself, parents died of cancer.

What can I do or should I do? I have feelings flowing through me like I did when I was a teenager..

Feel free to ask for more info for clarification.

We have agreed to email and when she is next in my city we might meet up.....

Advice and guidance please.

I have a feeling that my sticking point is building attraction or getting to the close. I was hoping to close this HB8.5 but she slept with this married man after our day 2 encounter. Not sure if I feel a pissed that I may have raised her BT only for this guy to f-close her.

Hey your game is solid - you did everything you could to create comfort and attraction - but the girl is moving to another country in five days to start a new life.

The activities you describe doing with her on day two - coffee, walk on the river, park, dinner, coffee again - those are activities you would do with a girlfriend, not things you would do with a one night hook-up, so you were running girlfriend game.

Since she is moving in five days, she cannot be your girlfriend. I know she told you about the mistress thing, but maybe she just didn't want to start something because she is moving.

Also, that stuff about her brother and parents dying does not make her a better person - it makes her a worse person. I bet she is not as innocent and vulnerable as you describe, she's probably callous and distant since so much bad has happened to her. Whatever her emotional state, she's coming from a different perspective than you are and that makes it harder to make a real connection.

I would not email unless you want to to have another friend. You are going to move into LGBF zone by emailing. Also, you didn't get what you wanted - a hook-up - why reward her with emails?

Thanks mate.

I did not realise that I was running girlfriend game....

I think that she is telling the truth about being a mistress. the way she was talking etc etc.

You are right that she is not as innocent and vulnerable as she makes out. That is just what I see in my mind. She has this innocent childlike look about her.

Concerning the bad things that have happened to her, I just have a weak spot for chicks who seem to have had it hard. I feel needed by them. My issue I know and it is something that I need to understand about myself.

If we email then lines of communication are open and when she comes to London there is always the chance of us hooking up. She definitly seemed to indicate that she wanted us to hook up. she could just be after someone to hook up with, not neccessarily ending in a f-close.

guys, I should add that during our initial interaction, mainly day 1 & day 2, she did most of the talking, about 75-80%. I just sat back, listened and steered the convo a little.

Am I falling into LJBF category?

She did mention on day 3 that she was not sure if she found me attractive at all.

OK I have just had a couple of emails from her saying, (edited of course)

" of course you left me....
........... now i am better... a little. ....

send me a copy of your diary.

Last evening I was not in my best condition.... I think it is even more difficult then the time I left ******. You didnt made it much easier.

......
But well, it seems i shouldnt write you at all, either I am not alone or my battery wont allow me relaxed typing. "


Is this girl having feelings for me?

Women are much more empathetic than we are so perhaps she was picking up on how I was feelings and mirroring those feelings.

advice and help please people.

many thanks in advance.

more of an update.

these last couple of days there has been some serious emotionally charged emailing going on between us. I feel that I am definitely pressing buttons.

However, what next? there is no way to keep up the intensity and she is not back in the country for at least about a month or so.

I really would welcome some support on this guys.

Many thanks.
Avon.

she's moving to another country...THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO!


seems to me like one-itis. one-itis is extremely afc. i'm not saying that to put you down, but you need to hear it. ok she was a nice girl. get over it. there's millions of nice, SEXY girls. you need to FTOW! and plus, you were faliing into ljbf because you didn't kiss close even though you tried. it's not your fault, there's just other factors out of your control. so that's done. i would actually suggest not talking to her at all. and just GO FTOW!

What is your reading age? Eskwire produced the best and most common answer you will get for this thread.

_________________
"That's how you become great, man. Hang your balls out there!"--Copy store clerk (Jerry Maguire)

What is your reading age? Eskwire produced the best and most common answer you will get for this thread.

_________________
"That's how you become great, man. Hang your balls out there!"--Copy store clerk (Jerry Maguire)

OK thanks for this guys. As painful as it is to hear, it is bloody well true.

I am exhibiting oneitus, there is not doubt about that.

She emails me incessantly now, she even suggested "ending this". ending what, we did not do anything for f sake...

I think that I will what I can to continue the emails, hey gives me a chance to practice my writting skills.....

In the meantime I will continue gaming and GFTOW.

Thanks again guys for the candid and frank comments, this is very helpful.

Avon.

I am in a hurry so kinda skim read your post, couple of points, you may have over invested in this girl, (put her on a pedestal because of your effort not her worth).

Also slipping back to afc happens every so often I think it is a natural part of learning you slip back forget things, go forward realize there is a reason you forgot those things. Tis all natural and all fine