Alright, so I got myself into a sticky situation the other night. There's this girl I've been hitting on for awhile now and I've made out with her a couple of times and gotten her naked once. The problem is she's a bit of a basket case and so am I. After we started hooking up things kind of died down. She started saying she was coming over but then blowing me off, or saying we should hang out and then not replying to my texts. I know what the problem is too, I was being too passive with her. The other day she texted me saying something like we should officially play this week, and I replyd saying Sorry, I don't play with losers who never answer their phone. It seemed to work and I told her I was free on thursday and we should hang out. She ended up calling me the next day (St. Patricks day not thursday) and we were both pretty drunk. She said her and her girlfriend were hanging out so I decided to stop by. It was the first time I'd seen her in quite some time and things didn't go very well. Her interest level had obviously dropped and she was definitely being a bitch... but I was too so it doesn't matter.

First of all, I got over there and they had two other dudes over. Neither of them had any game, they were just sort of awkwardly lingering around. When I first got out there the girl met me in the hall and was giving me lots of eye contact/suggestive stares. She's hott but kind of screwy, she was also pretty trashed when all of this went down. She told me to come hang out with her and smoke a cigarette. She started playing footsy with me and touching my face excessively, it was getting pretty annoying. She told me I should kiss her feet and I said no, they're way too dirty. Her and her friend acted like they were leaving to get the other two boys to leave and then we ended up smoking a bowl. She had a new haircut and I didn't really like it that much but she was trying to get me to say I did. I don't have much experience with girls so I really start screwing stuff up when they're playing this many games. I told her it was alright but probably should have busted on her because she died it black, like some emo chick. Then she started talking about other guys and ended up calling one right in front of me. It was obvious she was interested in him and she started complaining about how he wasn't coming over and she said we should all go to elm street to see him. She started putting on makeup and said I have to make myself look pretty. I was pretty drunk and said something like good luck, it sort of pissed her off but I didn't really care. She started trying to get me to tell her she looked good and so did her friend... It felt like I was being tag teamed. At some point she also said I was being a pussbag because I didn't wanna go out with them... she even made a comment about how she likes strong assertive men, and likes it more when I'm sassy. Then she started saying I was trying to hook up with her because I had a thing for her brother??? I kept looking at her like she was crazy and brushing it off. The whole time though she was in my personal space touching my face and acting really flirty. She asked me why I wasn't going out and I told her that I actually go to my classes, because I normally bust on her for sucking at school. I eventually got out of there because it sounded like they were either going to the place where that guy was or trying to clear me out of there. She told me I should call her on thursday and I said IDK about that, maybe.

The whole situation had me in WAYYY over my head but I felt like I learned some valuable lessons. The problem is I need some advice on how to handle situations like these. How can I stop girls from tag teaming me and playing thoose kinds of games... what are you supposed to do when girls talk about other guys/call them etc. I didn't want to act deffensive but at the same time I felt like the only reason I was there was to stroke her ego. I'm pretty shy, but when I'm in the zone I've definitely got some game. She gets really crazy when she's drunk and normally things aren't this out of controll when I hang out with her. I guess I learned a lot about her though, like I shouldn't be investing anything into her. I would still like to bang her though, because I'm a good looking guy and I know I can step up to the plate when I've got a little more composure. It was st pattys day and I was pretty drunk and tired. I wasn't expecting that setup at all. So my question is this, should I try to call her about thursday or just brush it off and let her call me. I know I was screwing things up, I used to think this girl was pretty special but she sort of proved me wrong. It was an eye opening experience, but I don't think it means that I should write her off just yet. She's still really hot and pretty cool, there's fun to be had there. I've got some other options to fall back on too, I just wanna get some practice in. So help me out guys, what should I do? It's thursday morning and it sounded like she wants to hang out tonight.

Still need some help on this one but I have an update

About a week ago I ended up going over to her house again, this time things went better. I started calling her out for flaking and it made her want to hang out more. She seems like a pretty crazy girl, but I ended up sealing the deal. She told me she's attracted to me when I'm mean to her... however she was also saying I should be more nice to her, hang out with her more etc. I went over there pretty drunk and started making out with her as soon as her friend left and took things from there. It was my first time actually going all the way with a girl and I felt like I did a pretty good job. She was making a lot of noise and being pretty vocal about things.. but she also told me she did some coke at a party so who knows. I spent the night with her and left in the morning, she told me she had fun but I still felt like I could have done a better job.

I left town for the weekend and talked to her on facebook when I got back. The conversation was kindof cold and she said she was doing homework and had to get off the internet. I invited her to one of our parties this weekend and she never ended up coming. I haven't talked to her for about a week and it would be nice to get some more action... but she's either playing hard to get or losing interest.

She's really hot but hangs out with a lot of sketchy kids, she tells me stuff like she doesn't hook up with a bunch of guys but I'm pretty sure she does.

What's a good way to handle these kinds of situations? I need some help here... I'm pretty lost with this one.

Hey there Greyfox,

first off, congratss on losing the V-card.

I'm not a very experienced PUA, but I can tell, that your girl is giving you many mixed signals because she:

A. doesnt't have things together in her mind
B. combines this with using alcahol
C. combines tath with use of cocaine
D. combines these three with liking you and engaging in emotional/sexual contact.

Dude, I'm from a place were a lot of people are using alcohol and drugs. If they wanna talk to me fine, if they wanna drink with me, fine, if they wanna kiss with me fine, if they wanna fuck with me fine, fine fine. But if they wanna get into my life, or If I notice serious personality change or errate behaviour patterns, they are out!

If you think you can save her, go ahead and give it your best shot.

Honestly man, youre to good for this shit. You placed a very detailed post and it sounds to me that you did your share of pua well executed and with the right intentions. Feed on the experience you have now and go out hunting, if you let her become your one-itis and get into an LTR, you will get sucked into the downward spiral of drinking and drugs, that alas so many youngsters are in today.

Good luck!

Buccaneer

Thanks for the reply

I've been thinking alot lately and I need to cut down on the drugs myself. I feel like I used to do a lot of drugs because I had no game and was very unhappy with myself (never coke or stuff like that, just a LOT of pot and a little drinking too) now I feel like I'm screwing up my game because I can't stop going back to them. Anybody have any good thoughts on how drinking, smoking etc mess with your game? I have some friends that do better when they're drunk but I'm not so sure if it's a good idea... same with getting high. I'm still young, and trying to have fun, but I haven't been doing a very good job at it.

Anyway, back to the girl. I haven't heard anything from her, I don't know whats going on with her but It's kinda put a damper on my parade. I get really depressed sometimes and the whole situation hasn't helped. I've noticed myself becoming less social... espescially around girls. I can't seem to get my head out of the clouds. I don't want to get myself into a downward spiral, but it always ends up happening.

There's another girl I want to hang out with, actually two. I just can't bring myself to hit on them for some reason. I feel like the whole situation has sort of screwed up my game. The other girls are way nicer, I just don't feel like I deserve them.

One of them I went to school with when I used to be a loser. I started hanging out with a different crowd when I started college and now she's in my circle of friends. She's cute in her own way... amazing body though. She's extremely cool too, likes good movies, reads good books, studies philosophy... definitely my type of girl. I hooked up with her over spring break (2nd base) and she's been texting me lately, we even joked around about hooking up. I told her I was drunk and she took advantage of me and she reacted pretty well to that.... But whenever she comes over she ends up talking to my friends (the ones she grew up with) and I can never get a solid conversation going, and she's the type of girl you have to talk too.

The other girl seems like my best bet, I met her at one of our parties. She's really nice and it seems like we have a lot in common. She's real fun to talk to, but it's hard to escalate things with her. One of my roomates tried to get her number, and her reply was Greyfox has it if you need it. So I'm pretty sure she's into me. She wrote me a comment on facebook and told me to get ahold of her so we can hang out. Here's the problem. Another one of my roomates (not the one who asked for her number) is talking to her online all the time. He doesn't have much game, he just ends up talking nonstop. He's really loud and obnoxious and lately he's been acting like his number one goal is hooking up with a girl. He's even been making up non-existant sexual encounters to tell us about lol. But I'm afraid he's creeping her out, she didn't come to his birthday party and I don't wanna have her over to my place when he's there and he never leaves the house. He's also been a huge cockblock lately, me and my roomates are working on that one. Should I take her out to see a movie? I know it's against the player rules and all but I'm a film major and movies are my thing.

I know this post doesn't really go anywhere, I had some stuff I needed to vent. I've never been in a relationship before, I have a nasty habbit of distancing myself from everyone. I don't want to be some pickup artist, I just wanna be good with girls so I can keep myself happy. I feel like i've been on a losing streak my whole life with people and I really need to turn it around. I've been missing out on way too much fun and I only get one shot at being young... If anybody has any good advice for me, it would be greatly appreciated.

Sorry, it was really painful to read through all that text... But one thing caught my eye... You have been hitting on her for a while... You never pulled the trigger, thats the problem...

What do you mean I never pulled the trigger? Please explain.

I've been in that situation before, many times, I have quite a few druggie friends. I've been to more than my fair share of houseparties where hey surprise!!!...we're high as fuck. She gave you an awesome SOI-statement of interest by making the other two guys leave. If you would have played your cards right you probably could have stumbled upon a threesome. but be very careful around inebriated women. Incidental Rape is a crime whether you did it or not. an accusal can ruin your life.

One thing to remember when around women or just people like that is that you have to set the frame. Whether you're at her house or anywhere else. You set the frame you decide what goes on you call the shots. I understand you were thrown off by being in unfamiliar territory I guess but one thing you didn't have in that situation was frame control.

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"Fortune rewards those who are bold. She is a woman." -Macchiavelli

im not expert but I did notice that you didn't Give into her demands. The first chick who was acting all weird, seemed to want to bend you into something your not and from what your telling me you seemed fairly good at holding your ground and not being a little pussy about "making her happy"

not sure how to give you advice otherwise but congrats on that at least

Good post .. this should be added to the wiki

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The problem with adding drinking and drugs in the variable is that it changes a women's behavior. How you will game her when she is sober is different when she and you are drunk and high. Just like you feel different when your high and drunk, she if feeling it too. Her personality is affect and influenced by it. You basically have learned how to talk to sober girls but don't know how to handle "under the influence" (ironic isn't it?)

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The ONLY Pick-Up superguide created by the community, for the community.