I know there are other people out there with this problem...when it comes to having sex (especially with condoms) I find it very difficult to ejaculate. This can be both a blessing and a curse-I have built quite a solid reputation in bed but it can also be frustrating at times (when I just can't seem to squeeze one out).

Anyways this has happened recently with the current gf but also girls in the past...we will have sex for what seems like forever, I can tell she's getting sore/bored. She drops the line "is there anything I can do for you?"

Does this automatically translate to "Ill give you head"? This has ensued with women in the past but the current gf has never given me full service (aside from foreplay) so it caught me a little off guard. What is a good response as to achieving a BJ and not to offend if that's what she didn't mean?

Snickers,

your failure to ejaculate with a condom is common, so please do not take my comments personally.

The issue is not the condom, or the girl, it's what's happening in the mind. We can condition our minds to find anything sexually exciting (fetishisation), we can fetishise objects to the point that contact with those things makes preventing ejaculation impossible.

Unfortunately, popular culture has defetishised sex with condoms, so subconsciously you're thinking "I can't feel her pussy, and if I can't feel it I don't want to come". This, of course, is rubbish. Did you ever whack off into a sock, a towel or tissues when you were younger ? bet you had no problems coming then.

So here are my suggestions:

1) You need to discuss this issue openly with her. There is no greater obstacle to ejaculation then anxiety.

2) You need to discuss what you want/need out of sex & see if she's open to that (if she's not then move onto the next girl).

3) You could start to condition an association between the condom and whatever it is you find sexy.

and most of all, have lots of fun !

cheers,

Phil

Snickers, one aspect of god sex is to close at the correct time. Hopefully you can make your lady come and ideally, it would be nice to come together. But it does happen to all of us, even with the same partner, that today she is just not gonna come. So on our end, that's something we gotta figure out and rap things up. If she seems bored that because you're not closing in good time.

Anyways,,, find ways for you to finish off quicker so you can get the timing correct. Without getting too graphic, I've found asking my lady to reach down/around and grab, it, is a sure way to make things happen.

Good luck.