Last night I went out with a big group of friends and I had everyone laughing. I was feeling pretty good about myself, but I realized I wasn't really getting anywhere with any of the girls. I didn't make much of a connection, even though I was probably coming across as pretty confident. Has anyone else struggled with this? I don't want to be pegged as the funny guy. Any advice on how to tone it down, but still lead the conversation in interesting directions that the whole group will enjoy?

i have been told by a friend of mine that sometimes DHV-ing all the time can actually DLV you in a sense that you seem to be seeking too much attention. Rather, in my opinion, target your girl and speak to her on the side or move sets with her or branch off the group and DHV there.
You want to be the prize but at the same time you dont want to be tooooooo hard to get.

my opinion
enjoy

Being funny ALL the time can peg you as a guy that can't be in a serious relationship. Yes being funny is great, but a man knows when to be serious too. She probably sees you more as friend material because she can't consider you seriously as a boyfriend between all the laughing. There is not real emotional connection taking place when all you do is make jokes.

So every now and then get into topics about your past, and her past as well. Building rapport like that will encourage a deeper connection.

I try to use the attention I get from funny stories and such to keep them interested long enough to say some serious stuff. I make a cold reading, I observe something interesting in the room, I share an interesting fact.

Then at the end of the serious business where I show my intelligence, manners, classyness etc I finish off by, OMG that was deep, now we are all looking like the league of extraordinary psychologists or something. Finish off with a joke or such and keep going.

I try to take each set on a rollercoaster ride to show as many aspects of my personality as possible.

Ezo

its easy...

occasionally shut up and observe rather than lead.
ask some "deep"questions, or at least pinion questions...
tell her/him/them, ok.. your turn.... tell me something interesting...
remember stories your friends have told you, and occassionaly invite them to tell you again, or to tell a new group... your friends will love this.

good luck fella.

Good advice everyone! I think the problem is that I'm genuinely having fun and so is everyone else. In other words, I don't realize until it's too late that I haven't DHV'ed or emotionally connected with the girl/s.

oh and stay away from alcohol


it sounds like a barrel of nervous energy, maybe insecurity... all that energy and "attention" seeking is coming from somewhere..... find out what it is and work on that instead.

I dont wanna come across rude, we all have our crosses to bare, we all have our issues. maybe yours is converting nervous tension to over compensating.

Iwould tell you what mine is... but it would take too long.

good luck fella.

Isolate, isolate, isolate.

The humour is great for getting you in with the group, but women cannot live on humour alone. Choose your target, DHV, cold read, then make her laugh a little, kino, close.

I have the same problem sometimes too, and I'm working through it as well. I've found that isolation is the key.