What's up fellas,

Met this girl at a party but my friends wanted to leave before I could get her number. The next day my friend calls and tells me that the girl I was talking to was attracted to me and wanted to talk.

Well eventually, I get her number (about 2-3 weeks later) and call her- no answer so I leave a voicemail. All I get is a text back the next day saying that she's outta town and will call me the next day..... She doesn't call me for a freaking week! It seems to be a theme with her- seems like if I don't text her- she wouldn't text me... and when she does it takes her an hour to do it.

Eventually we go out on a date... No kiss except for a peck on the cheek... (maybe I just need to be more aggressive- because I'm used to girls putting themselves in the position to make-out)

I've been with quite a few women- and it seems that she is showing many of the signs of a woman that is attracted to me- but also other signs that would lead me to think that she could care less.

Part of me wants to stick through it and see where it goes- the other part is telling me to cut my losses.

Input?

I seem to fall in this category a lot, girl says she likes me.. but will only text if I text/call her first.

If you really like her, maybe stick it through. I usually move on, becuase it feels like she's working the game on me.

BlaTalian,
You know what it sounds like here Dude? You haven't built enough value for yourself with this girl yet. She might like who you are but she's not ATTRACTED to it. Or, she might be attracted to you physically but you haven't got her mind attracted to you yet. Read up on highering your value and lowering hers. Get it to a level where you feel you're both at the same value. DHVs, disqualifiers, and negs! All kinds of negs! And once you build that higher value in her head, you have to maintain it! Remember this, and give it a go.

Fair?

Let me know if it helps. Feedback's always welcome.

-=JeDi=-

Exactly bro-

But what that means is that WE are doing something wrong- not them.

I believe that this used to happen because I played the nice guy role and made myself too accessible- but that is far from the case with this girl.

I really am at a loss for this one. Can't figure it out.

As hard as it will be- I think what I'm gonna have to do is not call her and see how long it takes for her to reach out for me- if it doesn't happen then the situation may be too damaged for me to repair.

The really jacked up part is that I have girls that are always asking to spend time with me- It's always the ones that I really want that I end up having problems with.... WTF!

Sounds like solid advice Jedi

I'm gonna give that a go- Although I do feel like I neg her all the time- I'm not disqualifying myself. I thought that Disqualifying was only used in pick-up sets- whereas I've already picked this chick up.

But yeah.. thanks dude I'm gonna read up on it- I think that I am missing entirely or really lacking in one of those departments that you mentioned.

By the way- you have any recommended reading/video/audio material for DHV tactics?

Hey BlaTalian,

Good to hear from you. Umm, the best place to look that i can think of would be Mystery on this one. He's an expert at negs that break a girl's ego in half while not being a dick or destroying her to the point she throws her drink in your face and goes home crying. "Your nose wiggles when you talk" for example. Don't make her hate you, but don't let her think she's the hottest thing on earth either. You wanna take her down a few pegs politely. You might be negging in a way that allows her to preserve her higher status over you. Mind of Mystery series might give you a few pointers, but there may be other members that can suggest more readings and resources, and may have more expertise in this area. My understanding is you take something small flaw of hers and point it out in a playful way. Even a compliment can be an insult if you use it right. Use it to get her thinking about her flaws when she's really being cocky. For example, "I love that scar on your poon! That's hot!" You use an IOD and cushion it with a joke or IOI. Cocky-funny!

Disqualifying can be used later in pickup to test where she's at too. Like a common one i use is, "I'd marry you tomorrow if you could only cook a nice plate of pasta." lol. I think you're thinking of them as in the intro to a set like, "If i wasn't gay, you'd so be mine." They can be used throughout to get her to earn your attention, compliments and advances. You want to constantly be making her chase and earn your compliments. All of it has to mean something.

Oh, and DHVs - you're a busy guy. "I can't talk long," call her and then tell her you gotta go. Invite her into your exciting world. Drop her a txt about something that just reminded you of her and don't reply when she asks what. Get a phonecall when you're out with her from one of your other girls, or anything that doesn't look like you're showing off about the other girls. Talk about open relationships and about some of the problems you're having finding the one. 4 main ones out there, use em creatively! Tons of research on this stuff that could help for sure!

Makes sense?

-=JeDi=-

Focus on attraction building, DHVs, negging, and kino escalation.

Attraction + Physical Comfort = Making out.

Yeah... It all makes sense- I'm gonna need to rethink a lot of things and evaluate what type of social value I've displayed to her so far... She want's me at her house this week so maybe things aren't as bad as they seem to be.

I'll let y'all know.

Thanks for all the advice.

Looks like I was totally misreading things.

In bed second date- I'm almost a little disappointed because it seems that most girls will have sex within the first couple of dates & I thought she may have been the type to not give it up like that... Oh well- no regrets.

Did you do anything differently?

Not really- I think that I just needed to spend some time alone with her.

The same night this all went down she sat on the opposite side of the couch from me (which I am unused to with girls) until I told her to come closer to me and that I won't bite unless she wanted me to- Me trying to show disinterest with my body language got me NOWHERE! So I resorted back to my old nature.... it moved on quickly from there.

Back to the old-
I think what is going on is that this girl isn't sprung off me like most of the girls I've dated or slept with- But the good thing is that I think that is exactly what is keeping my attraction focused on her.

The morning after, I conversed via text with her and she told me things like "She walked around with a smile on her face all day & the pain felt so good..." type stuff- but other than that I haven't gotten the texts or calls that I would expect from a girl I just slept with.

As hard as it is sometimes- In this stage (on a day by day basis) I won't ever text or call a girl that I'm interested in first unless it's for a good reason. (no random, trivial bullshit texts or calls) Therefore it's almost like a waiting game- how long should it take for a girl to want to.. just talk to you or hear from you? (I know.. I know.. there is no answer to that question.)

A couple of things that I'm sure of is that I know that the sex wasn't bad- we both had a lot of fun (I've slept with enough girls to recognize compatibility) and I know that she is still interested in me. (Just don't know how interested)

Maybe she doesn't have enough invested in me to feel an emotional attachment to me or maybe she doesn't consider me as high valued as I consider myself? (but then why would she have slept with me?)

What my intuition really tells me though is that- I'm being a bitch about the situation and overreacting. She probly is really attracted to me but too confident a woman to act sprung off me too soon. I should just kick back- relax and enjoy the fact that I'm sleeping with a hot chick that may not want an emotional relationship.

One other thing that I foresee being a potential problem is that she may develop some regrets about sleeping with me as soon as she did- I'm kinda waiting to see how that pans out.

If I can figure this out- I think my game will jump by leaps and bounds! By the way- I've had very similar issues in the past with strippers.

I'm sure one of you out there has some helpful insight...