Just being myself? Lame



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A Sticking Point or SP is an issue you CONSISTENTLY run into.

It is NOT a point where you get stuck with ONE SPECIFIC GIRL.

A Sticking Point is:
Quote:
I keep getting LMR whenever I bring girls back to my place. This has happened at least 10 times already! What am I doing wrong?
A Sticking Point is NOT:
Quote:
I got LMR with this one girl! What do I do?
IT IS AGAINST THIS BOARD'S RULES TO POST THREADS ABOUT JUST ONE GIRL
If you have not already gone out and practiced enough to have a real Sticking Point from meeting an ABUNDANCE of women, YOU DO NOT DESERVE TO POST HERE.



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 Post subject: Just being myself? Lame
PostPosted: Tue Dec 09, 2008 4:32 am 
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So, it's ChuMp.
I'm new to Game and all its principals. I've been out roughly 6 times in 4 weeks. Not great, I'll admit.

Every time I go out, I go with PU in mind but once I open a set Good Old Fashion Me comes in and takes over. I don't use DHV, negs, FTC, False disqualifiers, BaitHookReelRelease, and all that other mumbo-junk. Not surprisingly I have yet to close in any way besides a hug. Lame. But that's more then I would've gotten before the introduction of Game. Normally I wouldn't even open to begin with.

How would/did you guys pound all the info, routines and whatnot into your head so it just happens or at least happens smoothly for you?

_________________
"Looking back, I have this to regret, that too often when I loved, I did not say so. "
-David Grayson


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 09, 2008 5:16 am 
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Don't hate your normal self. I have a genuine belief that most people are cool, interesting, and fun to be around once you get them going.

When you hang out with your guy friends, I bet you have good social skills. Its your element of course. Its the real you right?

Everyone always tells guys to be themselves around girls, but when we try to do that it almost never seems to work. Why is that? Its because the person that is doing the approaches isn't the real you; its you with hang ups, fears, insecurities, nervousness, etc.

Think of the pickup game not as a strict formula that must be followed at all times, but rather as tools to help ease the real you out of his shell.

Ultimately, your natural personality will be your strongest asset. Thats what really matters in the end. All these techniques and concepts we are learning are mostly just to help us navigate through the tricky spots.


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 09, 2008 11:14 am 
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Be yourself and use the routines as a backup.


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 09, 2008 5:12 pm 
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Quote:
Be yourself and use the routines as a backup.
Ezoghoul, hope you dont take this the wrong way, but i think your being unclear (i know you know this, but the way you said it isnt clear).

When people outside of PU say be urself, they give you the wrong idea. You probably see yourself in the wrong way.

People in PU say be yourself they mean be the BEST PERSON YOU CAN BE. This means creating an active and attractive lifestyle. Doing everything the best you can.
Dont be yourself, if your not doing well yourself probably sucks. Why does it suck tho? because your not being the best person you can be. You have to make all these PU ideas (both outer game and also inner game such as alpha, confident etc) part of you. Not an act you put on.
What being yourself actually means is dont be fake, fake stinks so bad a girl can smell it a mile off. Therefore, how you act etc has to be like you, so that it doesnt seem "odd" when you do things. It should be natural, when you say something its normal behavior for you.

Madals

p.s. Look at my post in the lounge on inner game
"Madals and Fin talk PU - episode 1"


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 09, 2008 8:37 pm 
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To follow Madals post up I would say that a AFCs worst aid was listening to and believing his playground peers back when "kissing a girl was worse than kissing your granma!" :?
We learn from our peers and our parents, teachers etc through their examples of how to do things and behave, we were told be nice boys not bad boys, cos bad boys dont get sweets and Santa wont come with toys for us.
We sell our manhood for sweets and being nice boys, the tools you find on PU forums etc can help the real person leave those false beliefs and myths behind for grown up ways.
Give it time and like riding a bike eventually you can go along way without those training wheels of asking AFC questions, I hope so cos I havnt got time to keep reading and not winning those HB10`s :wink:
Practice pedaling until you can do it without having to THINK!
Inner Game FTW 8)

J1f


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 10, 2008 1:40 am 
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Quote:
When you hang out with your guy friends, I bet you have good social skills. Its your element of course. Its the real you right?
Well, I wish I had good social skills. I'm actually a walking awkward pause. But it's me. I have interesting stories (Bungy, New Zealand, Juan de Fuca Trail etc.) but my biggest hang up is telling them. I've been working on it for the past few months with few results.
Quote:
People in PU say be yourself they mean be the BEST PERSON YOU CAN BE.
Haha, well, I couldn't understand the rest or your post to be honest, but this I understood perfectly. Be my best self.
Quote:
Practice pedaling until you can do it without having to THINK!
Whether it be baby steps, biking or building a house, from what I've heard its all about going little by little and taking your sweet sweet time.

Sweet guys, really appreciate your input. I'm gonna keep pushin and take it little by little until it's just a part of who I am and I'm the best I can be.

_________________
"Looking back, I have this to regret, that too often when I loved, I did not say so. "
-David Grayson


Last edited by ChuMp on Wed Dec 10, 2008 10:57 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Wed Dec 10, 2008 1:48 pm 
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Quote:
Ezoghoul, hope you dont take this the wrong way, but i think your being unclear (i know you know this, but the way you said it isnt clear).
Hey... No worries man... Yeah, it seems a bit unclear. I just have the feeling that I am repeating myself but... new person new post... I know.

So to get back to where your question started. Why did I tell you to be yourself when everybody else tell you to be the alpha male. Because you know what you need to do. You know you need to open and game etc etc etc. You have already figured that part out.
What I try to do is to give you something I wish someone had told me when I started out. Do not lose track of who you are. You WILL need it later on.

For now, memorize the routines, repeat them if need be and above all have fun! Use the routines to get out there and get your social skills calibrated. In the end you will not even need your routines so try to figure out how to integrate your own personality into the gameplan. I am sure you have a million attractive characteristica just like most of us.

Be the best person you can be... Yes, sure but do not try to be someone you are not. Do not try to be Mystery or Style (definately do not try to be me ;) ), develop the sides of yourself that needs developing but do not lose your own personality. This is what I mean by be yourself.

What you really need is confidence.

Hope this cleared things up a bit...

Ezo


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 11, 2008 1:51 am 
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Quote:
...

Ultimately, your natural personality will be your strongest asset. Thats what really matters in the end. All these techniques and concepts we are learning are mostly just to help us navigate through the tricky spots.
When I first encountered sarging (~2001) it wasn't explained quite this way. This is most refreshing to read.

_________________
--Revel

Revel in the moments which are the most FUN.


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 11, 2008 12:16 pm 
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Joined: Tue Sep 11, 2007 9:07 am
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get "Rules of the Game" and do the 30 day challenge


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