Looking for a little help gentleman,

So here is the situation. I met this chick on-line that is gorgious. I'm talking a perfect 10. I was able to get her to bite from my email and eventtually we started texting. We did a lot of texting for the first two weeks, one phone call, and then I left on vacation for a week where phones don't work. While I was gone I sent her a little something at her work so she had a reason to think of me.

Once my vacation was over and I turned my phone on I came to realized it had worked. She had left Me a few VM's and a text. We started texting flirty. It was good. I used some of the stuff I got on here. (Thanks)

Two evenings later we went out to dinner, somewhere else for desert & a glass a whine then eventually back to her place. High levels of Kino and many kisses along the way. It was good.

A few days later she asked what I was doing Labor day weekend. She wanted to get away. I presented some ideas. Then she realized we could do one of them this weekend. We had decided to go out of town to a nearby location for a night. Well, Thursday she sent me a text saying bad news. She wasn't going to be able to go. I started to sense her being less interactive.

Friday, I text her something cute and eventually suggest she stop i to see me at my second job bartending. She says she might. During my shift she replies

Her: "Sorry sweatie @ -------! Hving dinner."

Me: "No worries! I figured u had plans. Still up for something tomorrow night? I think there is a wine tasting at the art museum. Just a thought."

HAVEN'T HEARD BACK... WTF?????

That was two nights ago.

I think she is in one of those "COMPLICATED" relationships. She had told me she has no boyfriend but I think there is something going on somewhere. I am Facebook friends with her and I had notice a few weeks before I had met her she had a status saying " I can't wait for my honey to get home!" Then when I was on vacation She changed her relationship status from single, to: in a relationship, and back to single.

THE QUESTION IS: WHAT DO I DO? I want to text her or facebook her or something because I would like to start the conversation back up. I mean we are in our 30's I know women are going to come with some baggage. What are your thoughts?

hmmm

this is a tough one sreupert...

first we should look at the positives, for one, you pulled a certified 10 from the internet, thats actually a lot harder than you might think, they get a million emails a day and its a wonder if they even get to read yours while they are just deleting messages by the hundreds for real...

Back to the heart of the matter tho, see we both know that the guy whom the women has more invested in is going to win if shes still got it for this guy then the only thing you can do is maybe ping her, text her like once a month, give her some time to do whatever because you've tried to talk to her shes flaked already and then was unresponsive so give her some time and then send her a text...

Dont ask her out, just say funny shit like "hey brat" or "i dont know if you heard or not, but aliens are coming to earth to take all the sexy people away...you're safe, but i just texted to say goodbye" or my personal fave "WANTED...chick...gorgeous, great cook, hot car, great in bed, kind and caring...I know none of this applies to you but if you know anyone give them my number"

Im interested in seeing the transcript of your emails to see how you pulled her from online tho post it or private message it to me

keep up the good work man

- d mid

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http://www.LearnSocialArts.com <------- New pick-up site

Oh and this was mistake here...she flaked on the trip, then you invited her to stop by your work (chasing her) she didnt and then you immediately invited her for wine tasting (chasing her again) and she didnt answer, remember man, hot chicks the 9's and 10's can have whatever they want, what they really want is a guy who is challenging, when she said she wasnt coming to your work you should have hit her with

"you're missing out dork, im the best bartender this side of the state, for real im like tom cruise in that movie cocktail, i flip bottles like whoa, see if i invite you out anymore!"


your frame has to be "I am the prize" not "she is the prize"

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http://www.LearnSocialArts.com <------- New pick-up site

It seems like from the way you write; that you like this woman for more than her good looks.. so any bad reaction will hit home harder im afraid to say..

There is a possibility that she has lost her phone or even broke it.. we have all had some new technology fail on us at one point or another..

I looks like the easiest way to get a ahold of her via Email.. heres what i suggest - by no means do you accually have to do it..
say something to the effect off:
"it saddens me to have not heard anything from you" (your the victim - shes guility)
"i had gone and organised something really special planned for us" (she missed out on romance)

However, you must make it clear that you are wanting to continue building a relationship and are interested in seeing her.

Bit like a push and pull technique adapted into a guilt trip for the target..

However! if she really does have emotional baggage and turns out to be an emotional cluster bomb - and you will find out if she does eventually... you might be dodging a bullet early..

Best of luck mate.

-Illusionist-

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"They were right when they said "just be yourself" they just never told you what "self" to be.." - Gunwitch

Gentleman, (answers to question at bottom of post)

I really do appreciate the insite! And do I have an update for you!!!

So after I was acting like an AFC and came to the forum for a little advice from my boys. I decided to give a friend a call and go do something social. My buddy was heading to an event Called "Zoo-a-la-carte" with 5 ladies and a couple dudes and I thought this would be a nice social event.

Well, after being there for about an hour I get a text! From her saying:

Her: "At Zoo a-la-carte, I think I saw you!"

So I reply with a short responce but nice and we talk back and forth a bit. Nothing comes up about flaking out. She had noticed I was with a few femails and had text me.

Her: "I saw you with a female; I guess my instincts were correct."

Me: "That I have friends! Yep! Why are you here with all girls?" (which she wasn't cause she didn't know but after she text me I did see her but thought I should just proceed with my day as is, & not showing her any special attention).

At this time she kinda accuses ME of being a player! (I am looking for a relationship so I don't want her to think I am but I also don't want to show DLV) This is what she replied with:

Her: "My niece and her bf. (My name), that's alright, I understnd if you had something going on b4 meeting me, however, bases are supposed to b based on honesty (whatever that means), I still like u the same sweetheart."

So we text back and forth and I will admit that my game was not top notch but I did avoid showing DLV. In the end she had text me.

Her: "I left the Zoo 1hr ago. If you are not tied with other plans maybe we can see each other? Let me know hun "

Me: "Still here! Maybe? It depends when I get home. What were you thinking of?"

Her: "I can come over with ur fav. food - if you are hungry? Or if you prefer you can come over to my place. You call the shots!"

We decided to get together at my place. She showed up at 8:30ish with sushi and we ate it on my patio under candle light. We were a little flirty showing some kino. after dinner we talked in the living room for a bit with my roomate then he left us alone and things started to escalate. A nice cuddle session had started with small amount of kisses.

She started to heat up and asked if we could go to my room and of course I said "maybe, why? what do you want to do up there? " and kiddingly said "No sex, you are not going to be taking advantage of me!" and she said she would take it easy.

We made it up to the bedroom and slowly got back into the mood. Pawing, kissing, & slowly removing clothing. I again made it apparent that we were not having sex. She took this as a challenge and thought that she could gain controll by tempting me. It didn't work (for her) Her problem was I have used this tactic often and know if I hold out that they will end up going nuts. So we slowly unclothed each other untill we had been fully undressed. Some oral pleasures had been happening but still no sex.

She was dieing inside (and wanted some medicine). At this point she called me out and said: "You like to make your girls beg, don't you! I can do better than that!" At this point things got real hot. She had grabbed me and insirted me while being bent over the bed. I was there for about 2 minutes then pulled out moved us to a laying position and said "You are a sneaky one! So iresistable!! but I can resist"

Her reply: "really??"

I resisted for another 30 seconds and then it was on. a good passionate night. The sex lasted about an hour. She had mentioned only once before has she ever had sex that long and that she likes the tease. Then followed with: "you like a tease because you're a tease"

Then we cuddled for a bit and she was saying she had to leave because she had to work in the morning and wasn't originally planning on being naughty. Eventually she leaves, with a few kisses and a good feeling.

I went and caught up on Entourage and reflected about the night. Then before going to bed text her.

Me: Sweat dream baby! (Laim I know but from previous txts she likes that shit)

Her: Sweat dreams honey!

Now she has already text me a few times this morning and asked me to accompany her to an event tomorrow night.

Thanks all PUA's for your insight and reading material. I'm sure I will get much more use out of it.

If you would like to see how I started this please see my post: Stuck after a week of Texts. It is week but the truth.

you were milking the situation, and you were conforming to it.


" I thought you might " means i conform my power to you, i planned and expected failure.

" are you free tomorrow " is milking the situation, wanting to get with her.. she felt that and just cut you down, as shes learned not to respond to such behavior.

This teaches you with all women that you can't do the above again.

When a woman cancels on your plans simply don't send a sms back and go meet another woman. After a while she will call you or get in contact with you if you've really shown your worth as a man. Otherwise she won't.

I have women ringing me back which I havn't talked to for months....

example

"hey.. guess who this is"?

and when women say that its just like saying, "hi i miss you".!

Don't get angry or emotionally phased, remember women are based 80-90% purely on emotions and conforming to the social matrix. Keep your chin up and realize your worth.

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Back, starting over as of 2012.

Don't need me to tell you that you shouldn't have followed up with another meet up when she flaked. You were so lucky that she saw you at the dinner place - and so was she, she didn't realise you were so cool.

Now you are in a tricky place IMO - After a girl has sex for the first time, in my experience this is where she can fully get buyers remorse and back off on you, if she ever suspected you of being a player, which you said she did. You have to help her feel comfortable, without being an AFC. Something I haven't quite mastered myself yet. In the past I have mostly fallen either side. Too AFC or not comforting enough and she avoids me completely.

Yes, I know I was lucky running into her and that she saw me with friends! It did get heated!

Since we first had sex we have slowed down on the txts. Last night we went and hung out with some of her colleagues and I did this roller skating bit (and I can't skate). She invited me so I said yes. Why not?

Well, whenI hang out with a lady (any lady) and her friends I find that I enjoy talking with her friends/colleagues more than her. It's not that I don't enjoy talking with her but I do have this social aspect that enjoys meeting different people and getting to know them. Trust me though, I still give my lady adequet amount of attention. We had a great time and after we left the get together we went for a drink and pizza. I had mention that I would much rather be curled up next to her watching a movie and she said then lets go do it!

We went to my place, driving seperatly, she took a shower. got comfortable and put a movie in. At first we were just cuddling and slowly that turned into sex. Twice! before we finally went to bed.

This is where I run into a problem. I often have trouble getting past about three dates with woman. I ALWAYS find something wrong and don't return calls etc. This one I like but I question why? Is it because she is HOT, has a rocking bod, (5"5' 127lbs with C/D size breasts)take a look: http://meetingonthenet.blogspot.com/ , and fucks like a champ?

Now I think I need a little space! I don't want to turn her away but I need a little air for myself. She could probably use some too. We have plans this Saturday so I think I will make sure that is the next time we hang out.

Does anyone else ever get in this situation?

Regarding how you said you never get past 3 dates and stop talking to them - do you further on down the track start to wish you didn't get rid of them?

If so, I find that I can get complacent when I'm around someone too much and take them for granted. In recent times I feel that if I spend time alone and think back to the times when I was alone wishing for a girlfriend and what I'd do with her, I get better ideas from those fantasies than when I was in a complacent frame of mind. Then I have gone and tried some of those things and it turns out it was a lot of fun and brought things to a new level. A girl that I have known for years and we think we've done everything together, suddenly the whole dynamic can change because of my attitude change.