Okay, this is an issue that's a MAJOR sticking point for a lot of guys, and I haven't seen a thread on it, so here goes:

1. What do you do if people say you come across as creepy?

2. What is "creepy" behavior? It's pretty easy to spot "needy" behavior - supplication, too many compliments, offering free drinks, etc. But I notice girls call a LOT of stuff "creepy" that doesn't even look that unusual.

I mean, sure following her is creepy. But what about other things, like your approach, or with online sarging? Or in rapport? Is escalating too fast considered creepy?


3. Plus, what's the best thing to say if she call you creepy as a shit-test? I mean, I don't know ANY good answers to that one.

wow. thats bad man. I can't really say why she called you creepy, because i wasn't there but some of the reasons are as follows:-

you follow her,

you are always staring at her

you never approach but she catches you looking at her

you have no social value. basically nobody knows you. (it is surprising how many guys go through this. ppl dont know who they are. there was this guy in my seconday school who had been there for 4yrs before I realised he was actully in my year and non of my friends knew him too. so get some friends if this appeals to you.

oh and you are very i mean VERY inconfident.

These are some erasons that trigger the creep-raddar in women.

hope this answers your question

If a chick calls you creepy then

1. She is telling you to go away
2 It is a bitch shield
3. It is a shit test

Why don't you reply with "James bond kinda creepy or Brad Pitt kinda creepy"

reply with "Yah but I'm really really really rediculously good looking which makes up for it"

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EZ E

The previous 2 posts were good because they actually had some interesting suggestions what were well-thought out. However, it seems D_Haile took this as a green light to flame me.

D_Haile, just for your own information, this post was for the benefit of all the guys that have been called creepy and don't know what to do about it. It is NOT a referendum on MY game. So there was no need for the negative, personal tone of your post.
I am NOT talking about myself, this post isn't about me. If you noticed, I never mentioned a specific girl or a specific incident involving me. It's been a LONG time since anyone called ME creepy, however, I do notice that some girls I know refer to other guys as creepy, including some really chill guys that I know that are NOT perverts or stalkers but just shy around women.
Once again this is basic no-brainer stuff. I am asking about a guy's APPROACH. Obviously if he stares and never approaches he looks bad, but I'm talking about a guy who does APPROACH. In fact, I EXPLICITLY mentioned this in my initial post:
What makes girls creeped out about a guy's approach? because in all honesty eliminating "creepy" behavior is a lot harder for most guys than eliminating "nice guy" behavior.
Ouch. Didn't see that coming! Lol, I have lots of friends, it's not even MY issue, I'm just trying to help out my friends who are having trouble with this, because I overcame it the long, hard way without any information (I did not know about the PUA forums or the seduction community way back then). Hopefully some day I will write a book about PUA when I get really good, and I intend to put some advice in it about AVOIDING CREEPY BEHAVIOR, because I've seen that it's A LOT HARDER TO OVERCOME than "nice-guy" behavior.

I'm doing this for the benefit of all the bros out there, not to hear the same old "you suck, get a life" insults that all the closet AFC's on the net love to dish out while pretending to be PUAs.

BTW I'm in a big university with over 20,000 students, not in some small "secondary school" with 100 students where everybody knows everybody else except the outcast. If you're talking about some kid who sat in a dark corner all day and had no friends, that's someone who needs counseling HELP, not the PUA forums. I don't even have a dog in that fight. Social proof is fine, but I'm talking about COLD APPROACHES that don't depend on social circle game.

And in case anyone wondered, My friends that got called "creepy" also have social proof, they are in frats and clubs and all, and have lots of female friends... so lack of friends is NOT their problem - but EVERY time they approach a girl, they come across as "creepy" and I'm not there to witness it. I want to know what are the things girls see as "creepy" that are LESS OBVIOUS to us guys. So you didn't answer my question at all.

Once AGAIN, you are making a bunch of assumptions about me without even answering the basic question. Yet you yourself admit that your weren't there lol. I KNOW that "inconfident" guys (is that even a word?) can come across as creepy, but that doesn't say anything about a guy that has the confidence to approach but later on I hear the girl talking shit behind his back.

I simply wanted the EXPERIENCED guys on this forum to post a list of the LESS OBVIOUS "creepy" behaviors, little things that guys often don't notice themselves doing, that mess up their game. Not nerdy guys with no friends other than their inflatable pikachu. I'm talking guys that actually TRY and approach girls, they don't stalk or follow, but the girl is still paranoid that they are creepy. Is it their body language? Eye contact? Voice tonality? Being too pushy? What are the top TEN "creepy" mistakes that aspiring PUAs make?

And despite all your assumptions against me, D_Haile, you yourself don't exactly have a stellar track record of good, "non-creepy" advice on these forums. On my college game forum, I posted a VERY detailed, field-tested routine and asked all the guys here if they could also post their college routines in detail, and instead you just posted the following DESPERATE, CREEPY approach:
Lol, that's EXACTLY the kind of stuff that makes you mess it up! It makes girls think you're a creepy sex-offender and makes them want to slap you and run away. Not only that, but it wastes the time of guys like me who actually WANT to see some good college routines on this forum. If that's the best you can come up with, you have no credibility to be advising others on what's creepy, let alone insulting other members or assuming that they need to avoid OBVIOUS mistakes that they never made in the first place. This is a PUA forum, it is NOT a forum for WBAFCs who want to settle for becoming AFCs.


Just to make it clear, I have NO PROBLEM with constructive criticism, in fact I openly welcome it, but when someone's posts mutate into nothing but NEGATIVE comments that don't address any of my main points, and yet dares to say "I hope this helped" or "I hope this answered your question" I am NOT okay with that sort of behavior. I'm not PERSONALLY offended by such childish remarks, but I do see it as a waste of time and a NEGATIVE distraction from the main point of the thread.

If anyone has USEFUL information on "creepy" behavior or how to defeat "creepy" shit tests (i.e. the girl says "my friend says you're really creepy"), feel free to post. Because I have not seen any other threads that address this so far.

~HotIce.

Okay, so I wouldn't say you are creepy.... just angry. Chill out bro.

If she calls you a creep just say um.. wiked dude, thanks, i try, i wake up every morning and i put on my creepy mask, totally man.. *and give her a odd look* if she keeps talking just ask her friends if shes always like this? and give them the um.. shes immature look!


Don't take it...

Creepy is uncool, I never get such thing, what you should do is look at yourself, see if you can dress a bit better, hows your posture, hows your sub communication like touching with hands or gestures the way you speak? hows your voice tone.. one thing men do is give out creepy eyes, so wear sunglasses if you cant control your energy! If its night time, who cares.. if she asks why your wearing glasses, just say because shes giving you a tan, and you don’t want to be sunburned and lean back look away.. brush her off but accept her type of thing.. Somethings not congruent with what you guys are doing.. maybe your too anxious, learn to relax your body and stop putting yourselves in uncertain situations. Allot of people sarge and they freak out, you have to learn to manage that and have a certain preset body presence to you that can get you a basic result by which you can work up from.

I always have a preset, "hey I'm cool!! who you think your kidding babe? go cook me eggs!" look to me! especially if i get nervous, i relax.. a good post is my approach anxiety one i wrote on here.... give it a quick read

Links below. Very proud of both of these posts.

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Back, starting over as of 2012.

Honestly if she calls you creepy theres no point in trying to bail yourself out of that hole because your ships sunk. Ive never been called creepy but I would suggest a self image check watch your body language and work on direct eye contact. Then I would find the guy who you know that has the best relationships to talking to women and watch him and compare it to yourself. Although I guess that would be kind of creepy if those women caught you watching. ;p

This is a very good idea.

Though what I was more aiming at was "creepy" as a shit test.

The guys I'm working with keep hearing from girls that "you look really tense" and "it's kind of creeping me out". Now they may be indeed "tense" and their nervous vibe/wide open eyes/leaning-in posture may be to blame.

But I don't really go sarging with them that much (right now I'm busy with a few other things...) so I can't say for sure.

Now I've NEVER heard of girls using "you're creepy" as a shit test, but it could happen and my friends think it happened to them. So what's a good answer to a shit test like that? (assuming your posture and everything are smooth and not creepy).

One of my flat mates comes across as very creepy to girls sometimes, especially when he is drunk. The problem is he is all over them, leaning in to them, staring at them, invading their space, whispering in their ears, trying to kiss them/get them to go to his room. He's a pretty attractive guy so it works on some drunk girls, which I guess encourages his bad behavior.

To be less creepy you have to smile more, initiate chat over the shoulder, do some body rocking, show willingness to walk away (maybe false time constraint), make sure she is comfortable, lean away from her, and keep the conversation non-sexual until the time is right. Also go easy on the complements, and don't be afraid to look away from her or engage in brief kino escalation. (Don't hug her or hold her for too long.)

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Back, starting over as of 2012.

I wold say that being called creepy is generally a negative comment. In fact, it's probably the biggest indicator of "get away from me" without actually saying those words. Also...you might want to think of how she is saying it. If she's smiling while saying it or doing it in a way that could be interpreted as flirtacious...then this could be a shit test. Be aware though..

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To all the women I've talked to in at parties, bars, malls, airports. I wasn't just running game on you...you were different.

good point. So how do you respond to it if it's a shit test?

the only time that happened to me im 99% sure it was a joke...I said something to the effect of how she was pretty sketchy herself and we laughed a bit about the sketchyness of us being out at night among the creepy ally ways, made fun of all the sketchy aspects of ourselves, what we were wearing, etc.

Yeah.. creepy.

Simply put, creepy is a guy who inspires fear in a girl. And not direct, 'omg I'm going to die fear' as in immediate physical violence or whatever, but 'oh god i am being hunted for sinister purposes' fear. Fear of sexual violation. Fear of being eaten. (seriously, this is fundamental fear, read some child psychology..) Fear of being butchered in the dark, alone and away from the safety of the light and the warmth.

The definition itself is creepy, because that is what creepy is.

So while you may not look or act like a serial killer, while you may not trigger absolute panic driven irrational fear, you are doing something to push the start buttons for this behaviorial reaction. And yeah, its bad.

(BTW I am NOT implying that you do this personally, HotIce. I'm just responding to the thread.. I think you totally misunderstood D_Haile03, and kind of went off on him there in a rediculous way, but whatever.. Its a shame that English doesn't have more pronouns.)

So how do we push these buttons? Try to isolate any behavior that emmulates a hunter, a predator.

Are you stalking? Are you avoiding normal verbal communication, but keeping constant eye contact?

Are you breaking social rules and boundaries that end up placing you in a dominant, aggressive (even passive aggressive) position, and which tend to victimise the girl by ignoring her needs and boundaries? This could be with direct, personal questions, or with physical placement/interaction. Are you removing her from the decision making process completely, basically imposing your will on her?

Do you show body language or other visual cues that mark you as abnormal, and not in a funny way? Lack of smiling. Lack of interaction with other people in the environment. Strange manuerisms.

Are you clean, or do you look dirty, unkempt, and therefore outside of society and dangerous? (Most infamous predators in RL are actually well disguised, you always hear about how they "seemed like a total normal guy." They do this because they know they have to camoflage themselves in order to hunt successfully. Its like the game to them.)

So how to avoid being the creepy guy? First things first, smile and talk to people. Communicate. Move around. Be a part of society on that level. If other people accept you as part of society, then she will also accept you as more normal. Then take it another step.

Try to emmulate what others are doing. Fit in. If everybody is rollerskating, you probably shouldn't be sitting in a corner reading Mein Kampf. This also goes for physical appearances; dont look like a bum. Groom your fingernails, comb your hair, wash your clothes, and for god's sake, brush your teeth. You don't have to conform, but you don't want to look like a social misfit. Misfits illicit the danger response.

As for interacting with people: Don't ask questions that are too strange or wierd. Make sure there is a lead up to things you say, if its too out of the blue and its odd, it becomes scary. Whatever you do, do NOT ignore personal boundaries. Be polite, respect others limits. Be aware of your own personal space and don't infringe on other's, but at the same time, don't attempt to hide yourself. Limit your eye contact, and when you make it, smile! If they smile back, either take it at that and let it go, or approach them and say hello. Dont continue staring.

If you find yourself breaking these rules because you are too shy to interract normally, then I highly recommend you take action to combat your social problems. It's better to confront the problem, even if people laugh at you, than to have people fear you and talk badly about you while you are away.