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Hello, I've been playin around with this website since I was like 15 and was really bad at talking to girls. Over the years I have learned more things and had a lot of fun. These are my sticking points not only with seduction but with life related to pickup.
1. Emotionally unavailable. Seeing girls as vaginas more than people for the most part. Years of objectifying girls through learning how to "pick them up" and watching them get fucked on the internet probably has done its toll.
2. Banging girls I shouldn't bang. that feels really nasty.
3. Being "Alpha" I don't really feel territorial over girls and if someone tries to hit on a girl I'm hooking up with or whatever I don't really mind and let it happen. Maybe that is a perspective, a gene trait, or who knows what. I don't really care if people talk shit when other people would go in fight mode.
4. Never being satisfied with any amount of girls I sleep with. There is no amount of women that makes me feel as though I have had enough.
5. Being somewhat shy sometimes and uncomfortable when I have no reason to be.
6. Going out to the bars or whatever and just getting way too faded. Self control is not the best.
7. Letting my desire to sleep with many woman get in the way of love.
8. Viewing really sexy girls as above me, when they really aint shit.
9. Still having trouble controlling my mentality. I read the power of now when I was like 15 which really was cool because I was really young and really felt the message of that book and it opened my eyes to how happy I could really be. It takes constant awareness.
Everybody has their own path and obstacles to jump, these are mine and wondering if anybody can relate.
This post might be dead, seeing as it is more than 3 months old now but anyway..
1. I too have been objectifying women a lot. Especially because when I was around 15-18 I had so many bad experiences, and couldn't get any girls because I wasn't the type to go out and attend parties, and as you might know, online dating for that particular age group is horrible, or at least it was back then..
I still objectify women, and still to this day think "I'd bang her brains out" whenever I see an attractive girl..
There's nothing wrong with it, as long as you still remember that you have to act respectful towards women and don't be a douchebag. However, I have had real connections with women, and 4 LTR's. So even though I objectify women, I am still able to become emotionally connected with them.
2. I too have done this.. At least two girls I shouldn't have banged.. First one was right after my first LTR and my self esteem was non-existant, so I was just happy that someone wanted to have sex with me.. Not my proudest moment. Second time was a similar story. I hadn't just gotten out of a LTR, but I was very down emotionally at that time, so again I did someone I shouldn't have. But fuck it really, it's in the past and you're here now. Don't look back unless you're looking at good memories.
3. I can be alpha, especially when around my family and in public situations where nobody knows me. I have a harder time being alpha at my work place and in certain people's company. But usually I found that being alpha is easy for me when I meet the girl the first time and set the frame. That frame carries on through the rest of the interactions with the girl.
There are some things that can help you being alpha, or develop the alpha mindset. First of all believe yourself to be attractive, and believe firmly that there are tons of girls out there (attractive ones too!) that would want to sleep with you, because they find you sexually attractive!
Believe that you can do what you want! Believe that others can learn from you, and find you interesting.
Also, you write that you really don't give a fuck if some dude moves in on your target? I'd say that's actually both good and bad. If you don't care because you think "Why would she wanna be with him over me anyway? Let him try all he wants" then I'd say you're still alpha, but if you think "Okay, I best move along, as she would obviously much rather want to be with him" then that's NOT alpha.
4. I'm 25 now and I still have this. I have slept with exactly 20 girls, and had a lot of success of late especially. But I too am not satisfied either. I get a kick everytime I bang a new chick, and it really lifts me up. If you're like me, this might be because of low self esteem issues, and you might need help battling that. I have tried talking to shrinks about it, but can't really get past it. I feel the best when I am laying a new girl every night.. The feeling I get when I get her completely naked in front of me, with no resistance is the biggest kick in my life, and I think a lot of guys out there feel the same. But it is not healthy if that is the only way we can feel good about our selves..
5. I'm also more introverted than extroverted. Sometimes I get these episodes too. But less and less as I get older I've noticed.
6. Never been the type to go out drinking too much really, so on that one I am not sure what to tell you here.
7. Could be that you've just not met the right girl yet, or you're not the relationship type. Some people really aren't. A lot of people find a spouse and have kids sure, but that's just not for everyone, and there's nothing wrong with not being that type of person. It's okay to be single as well.
8. Same here. The 9's and 10's often get away from me because I give them too much value right off the bat.. Practice practice practice. I've found it helps having several girls in play, and keeping in mind that there will always be other girls. And just because she's pretty, doesn't mean she's intelligent, a devil in bed, or even someone you'd actually really want to get to know once you've had your dick in her.. We men are programmed to react to beautiful women. With enough practice, you'll most likely have better results. Detach yourself from the outcome. Treat her like any other girl, no special status.
9. I suggest reading more books, and give it time. Maybe even read the same books several times, to really let it sink in. One of the great things about the mind is that if you repeat something enough, you will start believing it.
CHAT