Hey guys, I'm new here.
To be honest I'm more of a flirt than an actual pickup artist for the following reasons:
1. I'm no good in picking up any girl I want AT ALL. I tend to get a few girls every now and then, usually when I'm the only one NOT hitting on the woman/girl and actually bother to listen what she has to say.
2. I'm not sure my intention is to become a hardcore pickup artist. Sure, I like the idea of picking up any women I want, but I know I enjoy a more solid relationship with one women, or a few, than sleeping with many women I don't know very well or care about.

My sticking point is this:
I've been on an online dating site for a while with a good photo that was current at the time. The combination of a horny me being in better shape than I thought making an after-shower selfie got me around 10-60 messages a day from girls and women of all ages that wanted me to fuck them. Sounds good, right? It certainly helped me understand better how women think (though this still translates difficult to using it in offline, REAL world).

The bad part is that girls NEVER! have the courage to actually meetup in real life. I've spend 100s of euros in credits building relations with some, trying 1 message hookups with others. It doesn't matter if the girl is a nymphomanic or a conservative shy girl or a young girl or an older woman.
They all send a clear letter, sometimes 10 of them, and as SOON!! as I reply, they turn into "adrenalin but nervous mode". They say they want to meet me, will look and try and find a good time for it, want it to be well, and will make sure it will be great etc etc.

Here's one typical example:

1. she sends a free flirt
2. she sends a message:
"Hey, I send you a flirt yesterday/earlier today, did you get it. But then I thought, off course he won't reply to a free flirt, so unpersonal. Besides, with a profile like that, you pobably get swarmed! Please tell me you have an open spot for me, I really want you to come stick your **** in me now! blahblah dirty talk, more often also with a "no guys have the guts to meetup and f**k me" part, ending with a girly please/hihi/etc.
3. Maybe she sends some more messages, tone doesn't matter. Sometimes she begs, sometimes she's angry, sometimes even thinks I'm a gigolo and offers money.
4. I send a message back:
"yep, got your mail, (sorry for the late reply) Sure I could do that. Your photo looks nice, had a look at your profile as well, detail 1 is nice too. (I'm very sexual and I'm not worried about the sex part.) You seem like good fun, so sure, why not. Let's have a good time.
You should know though that a lot of people here LOVE to meetup and do the naughty, but are actually to nervous to even just meetup. I spend 3 credits/messages max, and if I think you're too nervous as well I'll stop replying. so you need to put some effort in it. X
..... lately I ask for a location/email/phone/any other way to contact her without spending money
5. She sends a message like:
OMG yes sweety, and you're right and we're sure to have a great time but we need to know a bit better to be sure and yes me too and you won't regret it it wil be soo great and what do you plan to do to me in bed :) i will let you know really soon sweety XX"

Basically it doesn't seem to matter much what I send, as long as I'm not being a dumb needy dick or a dumb mean dick. Even if it's the exact opposite of what she wants. I can flatout tell a girl that I don't like her (without being mean about it) and they get hooked into this OMG-I-Wanna-Meet-But-I'm-WAAY-Too-Nervous-For-That.

I'm not a photomodel, on the good side of average looking (got out of shape somewhat), I act borderline rude around several of my parent's female friends because they freeze around me (sexual tension) and they make me feel uncomfortable. Still I have a lot more trouble approaching women on the street nowadays, that is if I like them, most of them I don't care about.

I lost my ex whom I loved very much due to my flirting and other women always wanting me, partly in her mind, partly real. Now is not the time for us to get back, maybe later.

Right now I have a lot of women in my inbox that want me to f*ck them, but who never actually dare to meet me. My ex is the last one I've had sex with and that was almost a year ago. This is driving me crazy!

I encountered some of those types before with online dating. Most girls get insecure for a meet up when they have pimples for instance or when they think you are too good looking for them. A few want to keep the frame of being in chase mode.

You'll have to probe and calibrate what type of girl who wants to get fucked by you. You can play it coy first saying things like, "It's my first time to get into something like this so I'm somewhat nervous. Can we talk for a few minutes on the phone first so I'll feel comfortable?"

From her voice tone on the phone, you can better gauge when she's feeling insecure or wants to be in chase mode. When she's insecure, assure her that she's goodlooking and very sexy for you. When she wants to chase, frame her as the sexual aggressor and frame yourself as the helpless prey.

Assure all girls too that you're more into good personality rather than looks and you don't care whether they are fat or thin and what's important to you is if both of you click and if sparks fly when you see each other face to face the first time.

Been there. Done that. Calibration is everything in cases like this.

_________________
Approach. Open. Escalate. Isolate

Here are my two essential rules on texting that will save you tons of time and money:

general-questions/topic137931.html

Hey hellhound, thanks for replying.
I tried playing coy and several other things to make them feel comfortable many times.
I never get their phone numbery or email, let alone an address to meet up, so I never even hear their voice. The only thing I haven't done is acting needy, and it seems like a really bad idea for me to go down that road. Being needy is what kept me lonely for a long time. I tend to emphasize that I like their profile, not just their photo. OR that I don't like their profile at all, just that the photo made me reconsider.

I just followed your advice and tried a more coy approach with a woman who send me a 2nd message. A young single successful mom, who told me she just wants me as her toy/fuckbuddy and keep her own life. Fine by me. I translated our conversation and pasted it here:

===============================
She:
Hey, my name is Desire. By day a hardworking business woman, in the evening a loving mom to my wonderful little daughter. She is my main love, my work comes after that. So when you are with me, you will be 3rd place. You need to be able to handle that.

To be honest, to me you are nothing more than a male toy. I'll call you when my pussy gets wet and you visit me (I have a nice villa outside of your town) to stick your big dick as hard and far as possible inside me. If you also eat me out good I will let you sleep here as well, but you have to leave early, because my job comes before you.

May I use you for this lowlander? I think you can fuck me really good, right? xxx

Me:
You may. I work between 06:00 and 17:00. Yes I can handle that and as far as my qualities in bed... I've only had "good reviews" the last 6 years or so. So I'm not a bit worried about that. I would however like to talk to you over the phone first. I don't do this very often here and I would feel a lot more comfortable if I can hear your voice first before we actually meet, I hope that's okay for you. X

She:
Hello lowlander, good evening. Thank you for replying! Yes maybe I think I can understand that. But I've had weird/creepy experiences by exchanging contact information before. Please excuse me but I want to get to know you better first. Do you have a nice picture of yourself?

================
She's not the first woman to ask me for a picture, and I have a few that I sometimes send in response, which gets them even more estatic, but no more willing to actually have the nerve to meetup.

Now she says she's only interested in putting me in 3rd place, which I think she believes, but I doubt that's the case. I think all women, regardless of age, culture, sexual experience or lack thereof, want this one caring alphamale to fuck their brains out and protect them afterwards. You can often read it between the lines. The woman in this example is also able to type complete sentences as a reply, which tells me she's not as nervous as most other girls.
What's your view on this?

I tried a lot of different approaches, from being coy, to being aggressive, to telling girls I'm not interested and better luck with the next one, all with the same result, or rather, lack of it... Going aggressive gives the worst results; I usually need the next message or 2 to soften things up again. Being neutral/confident, like I'm doing this a lot (which I am...) gives me the best results as far as how comfortable they get in their messages, but still to scared to meetup.

I think I also focus on personality a lot, but I used to do more of that before. I don't get results anyway, and when a girl is interested, their personalities seem kinda the same anyway.

This example was from a (seemingly) confident woman, I also get a lot of messages from not-so-confident girls. And yet, this confident woman does what all the other ones do. She's probably lying about having that bad experience, girls make up any excuse to stay within the virtual realm, where they feel safe, and not give up contact info.

I'm more into the shy girls for relationship material, but the confident ones are great as friends and the occasional fuck buddy.

From this message/conversation, could you help me? Do you have any idea what I need to change in order for her, or other girls, to pass me details, and for the next step, to actually meet up and have sex?

This girl wants to play the sexual aggressor role. She wants to be in control and dominant. Send her a picture of you with a pet cat or puppy, or playing with your little niece or nephew-- a picture that shows your vulnerable side if girls find you very goodlooking as you say you are.

Those are some types of pictures girls I had met online and fucked saw from me. Those might work for you.

_________________
Approach. Open. Escalate. Isolate

Here are my two essential rules on texting that will save you tons of time and money:

general-questions/topic137931.html

Thank you, I'll try that. Makes sense.

I'm not actually good looking, just on the right side of average. And by now I'm also out of shape and exhausted from travelling and going from one crappy job to the next.
I'm sorry if I came across as arrogant. That's not what I want to be. For many years I thought I was butt-ugly because I hardly got attention, now I know that was not the case and it's the other way around. I don't mean to flaunt it.

No need to apologize. A lot of girls find me very goodlooking so those picture stuffs work for me. Not too sure though if it will work for average looking guys, hence, the disclaimer clauses.

_________________
Approach. Open. Escalate. Isolate

Here are my two essential rules on texting that will save you tons of time and money:

general-questions/topic137931.html