One thing I’m having problems with right now is Letting go of the outcome. It is hard to let go when my brain is hijacking me into thinking that there are not a lot of possibilities for me, even if there are. Maybe I’m just an information junkie that is learning more than acting or maybe I’m just having a bad month, I will never know. The only thing I know is that I need to keep going.
Since I don’t drink or smoke, I feel like I have a hard time having fun at college parties when I’m not talking to girls. They are the only reason why I come out. Talking to girls with my friends is the main activity and all the rest is just the rest. I’m not saying that I don’t have a good time with my friends, but to me there is not point going to a party with no girls in there.
Another thing I noticed is that I’m depending too much on the girl’s reactions. If the sets I’m opening aren’t giving anything I start to get more outcome dependent, more dependent on reactions. This is bad because it just means that deep down I’m still looking for validation. And this makes total sense for me. Until I started “gaming” I never actually had girls and all of the sudden I felt like a rock star, so maybe I’m still searching for my long waited and never necessary validation.
Right now I’m sitting here with some thoughts while I’m sick. It would be depressing if it weren’t so funny.

- Ricky H.

Sounds like you just answered your own question. You're still looking for validation.

You have to start with self-love. Take time to get to know and become comfortable with yourself. You can only fool so many people with fake confidence.

When you love yourself, it won't matter if you get girls or not, which will naturally make you more attractive.

Also, if you don't drink, maybe the party crowd isn't for you.

I quit drinking for a while and I talked to someone else who had quit drinking for support. They made me aware that you have two classes of friends:

--Real friends
--Drinking buddies

You may have a great time with drinking buddies, but when you want to hang when you're sober, they're nowhere to be found. These aren't your real friends.

Join some activities that don't revolve around drinking and make some friends that way. There may even be some cute girls in the group.

_________________
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So have success = pulling girls .... if you don't pull the girl that is rejection.

What to consider ^_^:
1) In clubs/parties/bars ... usually the girls are there to have fun. Girls can usually have sex with anyone ... so mine as well for them to have fun and then have sex with a guy later when the bar/party/club ends.
- Most bar/club dynamics ... 10:30pm - 1:30am ... girls are their to have fun, drink, dance, with their friends ... raising their buying temperature.
- From 1:30am to closing time ... they are amped up and horny pumped up by drinks, fun, and guys hitting on them ... so they are ready to go home with someone.
- Therefore, from the beginning of the party/club/bar ... they are not considering of pulling yet ... so they just have fun and have the environment amped them up.
* Shit you can set your alarm for 2 am ... wake up ... go downtown ... and pull a girl in your pajamas. I use to do this when I leave near downtown.

Therefore, knowing that girls are not ready to go home with you yet until closing time .... u have roughly around 2 hours to yourself. So just forget about pulling girls around 10:30pm to 1:30 am and just focus on yourself.
2) What do I mean to focus on yourself:
- Within 10:30pm to 1:30am ... try to build your level of intention, self amusement, in control, and flowing.
- Focus on yourself ... just fuck around with your buddies, dance, loosen up ... fuck around with girls .... Don't worry about pulling girls until it is time! This should relieve you of the pressure of the environment and just focus on your self.

3) To get rid of outcome dependency and validation seeking ... is to purposely fuck shit up. Normally, if you are outcome dependent or validating seeking ... u'll probably not be appealing to girls ... so if you are getting rejected by girls ... "purposely approach girls to get rejected ... in a fun and creative matter!" The only way for you to fix your mind is to take action. Motion creates emotions! By purposely approaching to get rejected ... in a fun a creative matter ... will paradoxically work and the interaction will go well because girls will sense that you don't give a fuck.... but, more importantly ... you are developing good emotions inside you not from the environment.
- I did this when my ego was to large when I had to much success and got lazy to follow my process .... So I started to use stupid openers like "banana, banana, banana" ... or yelling "Ewwwwwwww .... " and point at their hair or shoe .... or calling girls "dog" .... but in a fun and challenging matter ... and surprisingly the interaction would go well.

or

4) Do the opposite behaviour of a needy chode who is validating seeking. So when you are validating seeking ... you want compliments or IOIs from girls ... to get IOIs from girls is to trying to impress them ... When you are trying to impress girls ... you go in your head and try to look for value to show them ... you don't allow any awkward silence ... you speak more than the girl .... these are the typical behaviour of a needy chode who is validating seeking and is highly outcome dependent ..... THEREFORE ... do the opposite. Don't try and don't impress ... allow for pauses and awkward silence ... speak slowly ... and keep it simple ... n' just concentrate on maintaining eye contact. Do this for your warm up as you approach set to set. The thing that will make this all work is focusing on making eye contact with the girl. You may at first try to convey value for the your first approaches ... but try to stop it and just focus on your eye contact with the girl! This is what naturals do ... and this warm up is what helps intermediate guys transition to advance. Once you get in the flow ... your interaction will be 70% girl qualifying themselves and saying how beautiful, gorgeous, you are the best guy here .... The reason why this works is because you are not going in your head trying to impress the girl ... you will be the first guy probably in her life to not try to impress a girl .... Hot girls will start to think you are special ... in a hot and attractive way ... not mentally handicapped :p ... hahhaa

When it is 1:30am to 2:00am or closing time ... you have been warming up and developing good emotions by now and the girls have been warmed up themselves [by drinks, dancing, guys hitting on them ] ... it is time for you to take decisive action ...
- As long you are the last dick standing! The girl will sleep with you ... so whatever it takes at the end ... find ways to be the last dick with her ... either walk her home or driver her home ... or whatever.
- I remember approaching this girl once she left the clubs ... I just said I would walk her home ... and once we got to her door ... she said, "Well ... you here now ... mine as well come up." .... tahahhaha

Enjoy ^_^!

Donston

Thanks guys, this helps a lot!

-Ricky H.

Find a hobbie dude. No one would like to hang out with the creep guy who only talks and pesters girls at parties. Be cool have something cool to talk about yourself and not only "game" girls

You should also speak to guys. Not saying to go to parties full of guys (sausage fests) however totally feel free to make friends and maybe they could introduce you to their hot ex or whatever- take all of your chances

HAHAHA i actually have lots of hobbies and i talk to guys in the parties, my point was that i don't like to party when is a sausage fest because there is no point!

The ability to self amuse is a muscle ... consider practicing this muscle whenever you can. So whenever there are girls ... you've trained this muscle so much that it becomes second nature. Plus not only will u know how to self amuse ... people will want to join your party ... This is how to be alpha, a leader of mean, being able to be the life of the party.

- All the skills/personality/behaviours I have explained above are like muscles ... the more you practice them ... the stronger it gets and it will come as second nature. So when there are girls ... you can easily and smoothly demonstrate this skill.

Another thing to consider ... Having a mind set of ... "it is no fun when there is no girls" ... is putting girls on a pedestal ... thinking like this will make you needy and fake. Thinking like this is building this muscle of putting girls on a pedestal! A man who has abundance will not do this :p ....

There is one insecurity that guys have when they are at a club/bar/venue ... This insecurity is called "There are more guys than girls" ... which ruins their mood and cause them approach anxiety and bad vibes ... you are training this insecurity O_O ...

Learn to self amuse even though you don't feel like it. A good PUA is someone who can generate good positive emotions at any time! This good positive emotions comes from within ... not from the environment (aka: girls)! If you can only be happy when there are girls ... when you approach them you will be coming in a frame of "Can I join your party?" ... when it should be the other way around ... Girls: "Can we join your party or can you please join our party?" ...

So ... what I do when I'm hanging out with my buddies ... We would find ways to play and challenge each other through mini olympic games ... Who can shoot this paper ball into that cup ... who can throw this foot ball between those trees ... we make music out of cups, tin cans, pots ... we hit rocks with broom sticks like we are playing baseball ... we find any thing and make a game out of it and challenge each other ... we are the loudest and we are having the most fun ... despite if there are girls or not ... so when there are girls ... we know how to self amuse and bring the party ... which attracts girls to our party because they want to have fun to.

Summary: Train this muscle of self amusement! Even though if your friends don't know how ... lead by example then ... challenge them ... I bet you u can do "insert game here" ...

ORRRR

You can do nothing, be bored, and let the environment dictate your life ...

... will you take the blue pill or the red pill O_O? tahahaha

"There are two types of people in the world ... People who complains or people who finds solutions ... Who do you want to be? And which one will the girl go home with?" ^_^

Hope that helped,

Donston

PS ... I don't drink or smoke or pop drugs ... but I party the hardest and I am the happiest out everyone :p! But, I get random dudes come to me asking for drugs ... then I say to them I am totally sober ... then they give me a look of disbelief ... tahhaha

Thanks again Donston! you are helping me a lot bro, now i just need to go and practice it!

-Ricky H.