Hi there! To analyze this problem of mine I have tell a bit of myself first. I am 31 and have made some bad choices in my previous life which have lead me to become somewhat of a underachiever and perhaps even a "looser" on paper. That being said I am working hard to change things around and achieve my goals in life, and meanwhile doing that I would appreciate some female company, dates, sex, why not even a girlfriend.

Not trying to brag, but I am a somewhat handsome man. I have often being told that I look like a model and one time a girl told me she thinks I am "too good looking for a relationship". I look somewhat exotic which has often lead to people thinking I am from abroad, Spain or Italy and I live in a country where there aren't too many of men from those countries or with those looks. I also look a lot younger than I actually am and have found out that for some reason I tend to do better with women aged 18-21 than say 26-30.

By looking into PUA- material and putting effort on clothing and strong body language I am able to make a strong attractive first impression. One example of this is when I walked into a bar, talked to this girl infront of the bar for a few mins and she actually waited for me to go the men's room and followed me there and kind of attacked me very passionately. Another example is that I sometimes visit my friends in another small city and last time I was there I met this girl in a bar who immediately recognised me and said I had talked to her a couple of minutes one year prior to that when she was my waitress. Just wanted to include these to illustrate that the fast attraction is there and not a problem usually.

The problems for me start once I get to know the girl a bit better or should I say they get to know me. It really does seem that I am unable to generate that attraction into love or into a relationship and every time I get really interested of someone they seem to loose their interest of me. I have been on dates where I have first spoke with them countless hours on the phone and things have progressed smoothly but after the date I don't even get an answer to my sms etc. It is also really common not to receive any words back when I try to contact a girl I met in a bar even though she was at the moment the one making the first move.

A year and a half ago I dated this one girl for a while, we had lots of sex and we were also talking a lot, sometimes stayed up the whole night until morning came. That continued for 2 weeks until she met someone else and forgot all about me in one night. Latest example of this is a girl I met last summer. She was from another country and working here for a couple of months. Catholic, 25y old virgin and a bit shy but very attractive. I dated her for a couple of weeks and she lost her virginity to me and things seemed going great. Then she had to travel to her homecountry and we stayed in touch on fb and by the phone for a couple of months before I travelled there to see her again. I don't know what happened but I stayed for a week and started to notice some indicators that she wasn't so much into me anymore and when I got back our contacts were decreasing rapidly as she was "really busy in work and studies" until she finally told me she has no "romantic feelings" towards me.

Also a big problem for me is that there are a lot of women who are sexually attractive to me but very few of them are actually intesting enough for a relationship and it just seems that they read my mind and I am unable to date them after that. How do you guys deal with this?

Based on this do you think the problem is my background or more the thing that it makes me feel it is a problem and therefore causes one? Or is the problem in my personality? I am trying not to appear too needy or strike with the romantic stuff but must admit that I might be a little "too kind" as in often treating the girl way better than she treats me. Is this what is killing the attraction or how should I think of this?

Gonna seem like i'm qualifying you but..

Do you have a lot going for you?

Or do you just watch a DVD then have sex *rinse and repeat* with every girl?

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USER HAS BEEN BANNED FOR REPEATEDLY IGNORING MOD WARNINGS AND MULTIPLE RULE VIOLATIONS

hmm, are u asking me if I am living an interesting life that someone would wish to be a part of or is that question referring to if I can keep up an intelligent conversation?

For the second part I would answer that I am at least of average IQ and curious of life itself and like to talk of lot of various subjects and that has not been a problem for me. But sadly the first part could contain problems. For a long time I suffered from depression and lived an uninteresting and lonely life for the most parts. Recovering from that and getting my life back together has been a long process. At the moment I do have friends and I am socially connected and studying for a good profession. Other than that I do not have any super interesting hobbies or stuff like that but I do not spend all my days just watching TV either and do random sports and other activities.

Hmm, Dvd and sex on the other hand rings a bell. Ofc not on firstdate and I try to occasionally mix in something else but still a lot of that I guess. I have to admit that sadly I do not get to that phase too often, but to come to think of that was what I did a lot with this foreign chick every evening after a day of sightseeing. In my last long relationship the girl was kind of a moviefreak so I guess the habit of watching a lot of movies together may have stuck with me.

On the other hand I dated this one chick for a while and pretty much did nothing else with her than watch movies and have sex and she actually would have wanted me into a serious relationship but I didn't like her personality.

Your problem is talking too much before having sex. Once you get her interest in the club, escalate towards a same-night lay. If logistics make this impossible, get her number and Day 2 her. The goal for Day 2 should be to build enough comfort for her to come home with you straight after the date.

Once you have generated attraction, you just need to get physical quickly, heavy eye contact and kiss. Escalate towards sex ASAP, before you talk your way out of her panties. You are clearly insecure about your "loser" status and you will be sub-communicating this to her in your 2-hour conversations. This is where you are fucking up. Stop qualifying. One of my best wings has no job and sleeps on his cousin's coach, yet when we go out, he consistently crushes because he doesn't give a fuck and makes girls buy him drinks all night.

Get good at sex. If you cannot make a woman orgasm several times every time you have sex with her, she is not going to fall in love with you.

When a girl says "You're too handsome to be boyfriend material", she means "I want you to fuck me right now / I want to be your fuck buddy". Stop missing opportunities bro!

Well it seems I am definitely missing huge amounts of chances. But I do not know if it the reason would be lack of escalation and physical contact. That may have been the case in the past, but I have consciously tried to get more physical fast. Maybe it is still around a little bit if the girl is a really pretty one.

My succes rate is still pretty much horrible. I would estimate that around 10% of the time I have kissed a girl on the dancefloor I have actually ended up sleeping with her. This might be actually due to the fact that I sometimes find a caveman in myself and just take a girl to the dancefloor and try to go for the kiss as soon as it seems approriate. So perhaps 50% of the time I just don't build enough rapport and other times I can build too much of it, so guess I should aim for the golden mid-way.

The part of subcommunicating about insecurity must be more of a case and I am not sure how to get around it. At times I avoid talking of that stuff and at times I can be really open about that.

Doing a lot of clubbing in the past 2 years I have noticed one thing that would have been really hard to digest for me before getting to know some pua- material and guys. That is the behaviour of the girls who are allready in a relationship and I feel like it would be easier to take one of those home at the first night rather than a single girl. Have you guys noticed the same?

It seems that only like 10% of the girls tell me right in the beginning that they are taken and not interested. Big majority is very talkative and just keeps the fact to themselves as long as possible and some even straight up lie about it and I am getting a lot of IOI's. I am having a hard time deciding whether I am doing something wrong in the approaching and manage to slightly push away the single girls and pull in the taken ones, or am I actually doing everything right and it just happens to be so that majority of the pretty women happen to be in a relationship. It is possible that I am just misinterprating common kindness but I doubt it to this extent and when I haven't been aware that they are actually taken things have gone pretty far. Based on this should I then make a conclusion that I am generally viewed as a guy whom to have a little fling with but not a guy to be considered for a serious relationship?

One common scenario that happens a lot is where I walk into a bar and see a guy who I know a little and haven't seen in long time and get introduced to his gf. There seems to be a rapid connection forming up much faster than with single girls and often once i've spoken with them they just start ignoring their bf who tries to interrupt and a lot of times the guy just ends up leaving us. I do not take things further because I try to pay respect for the relationship and am not keen on causing a lot of drama and breaking hearts. I just find it really wierd every time it happens and often find myself wasting time like this when I'm out, although it's not actually a bad thing to be viewed as a social guy for the rest of the bar. So might this actually mean that I somehow suck at some phase of the aproach and when a girl is allready in a relationship and not having her shields up she just doesn't see it coming and becomes attracted?