Howdy gents,

I originally posted about this in one of the newbie subforums. I'm pretty new to this site, but I'm not exactly inexperienced, and this so I'm hoping I'll get some more insightful responses here.

Here's the problem.... For the past few months, most of the girls I've gotten on dates have had boyfriends, but they hadn't told me about it. This results in complicated situations, sometimes wasted effort.

I generally display extremely high value and attainability, although sometimes I amp up challenge when I think I'm coming off too nice (that's a tricky game to play). I'm naturally alpha but sometimes get vulnerable. I'm pretty good at handling most common compliance tests, but I've found that the ones offered by *inexperienced* women get under my skin, and I sometimes fail them.

I can usually get women I like who aren't telling me that they have boyfriends to meet me, and I've broken up a few relationships that way over the past few months... all entirely unintentionally. There are, of course, a few problems with not knowing a girl has a boyfriend:

1. You might unintentionally hurt some guy you don't know who probably doesn't deserve it.
2. You might get into a situation where a girl feels she has to shut you out of her life to save her relationship.
3. You might waste effort.

In my experience, girls who have boyfriends don't usually end up becoming my girlfriend even after I've broken them up... but that's generally because I'd rather be friends first, and girls who already have boyfriends don't like that.

I know from numerous approaches and interactions that asking girls if they have boyfriends turns off a lot of girls, even single girls. So it's not a question that I ask. But guys I discuss this kind of stuff with do get told by girls that they have boyfriends, even when they don't ask.... So my question is: how do you best avoid the above three problems without actually asking if a girl is single?

-JJ

Don't even ask them at all man.

Girls cheat on their boyfriends ALL the time. Even if a girl tells you that she has a boyfriend... who cares? Just find a way around it. If she's REALLY serious about her boyfriend, she will tell you back off from the get go.

And in regards to your first situation... about hurting another guys "feelings".... Look at it this way...

Say you are dating a girl and some guy gets her all horny and hot and bothered... do you really think he's going to give a fuck about YOUR feelings?