OK, this is like a major sticking point for me. These are several issues that I get stuck on repeatedly. Intuition tells me, that they have something in common.

I meet a girl and I either number close her (if in public) or kiss close her (if on parties). Then very often they just flake me.

Number closing or kiss closing does not seem forced. Everything goes smoothly, we are having fun. I take the number or kiss the girl (not once, but like half an hour of repetitive kissing + boob touching + nipple sucking fun).

Number closed girls with whom I had great conversations during our initial meeting, they seem not interested in any follow up, even if they seemed like they did (the gave me the real number / Facebook details and they didn't have to!). When I try to text them on their phone or on Facebook their replies seem forced and there is no initial spark that I sensed during our first meeting. Same things happen with girls whom I kiss closed.

I can't figure out what am I doing wrong. I can provide you with additional details, but I'm not sure which might be significant in this situation.

Everything seems in place. You fool around at a party, an event that takes place aside from real life, and you have trouble bringing girls into your real life.

You have attraction at the time but you lack connection. You give up your attraction when you start chasing them. Then you see them again at the party, and you're not the guy she messed around with at the last party, you're the creepy, desperate guy she messed around with at the last party.

The thing is, you don't have enough base reality of women surrounding you. Right now, making out with you at a party is rewarded with a number exchange and a chase. It really shouldn't matter unless you sleep with her or she sucks your dick. Making out is like no big deal. Sex is no big deal. A number is no big deal. Hanging out outside of a casual hook up IS a big deal. If they're interested, they'll come to you. If not, next party you'll run into the same girls and they'll be all head fucked because you're the guy who didn't call. Then they'll be chasing you.

Also, make outs are permission to fuck. GABAPYCO.

If a girl gets your dick hard, use it.

_________________
Attraction is a choice.
ITS YOUR CHOICE!
Spread Love
-Ders


www.facebook.com/spreadloveders

Thx for the reply. It seems like a nice observation. However there are two thinks that I am afraid of. If I won't suggest another meeting or if I don't stay in touch with me they might forget that I ever existed. I guess then that my weak point might be keeping the initial connection without being too desperate. This is something I don't know how to do. Don't get me wrong. Sometimes I get results. Just not as often as I would like you. Second thing is that it's not only about parties. I get most of my numbers during day game (chatting to a girl in a train or in the cafe) and sometimes I tell them about a place or an event and they are all like "yes, we should definitely go there together" and then there is the number deal. But then they seem to flake me. Maybe I seem to desperate in my texts? And as for the kiss closed girls, maybe they just feel ashamed after what happend, because I didn't text them something that I should after such night?

Okay, a couple questions for you....

1. Roughly how many girls has this happened with?

2. How are you going about getting these girls phone numbers? (what are you saying to them?)

3. When you are kissing a girl... why do you stop at kissing? What's your reason?

4. When you do text a girl, (I would recommend calling by the way) what is the conversation like? Is it like stupid, playful chit chat or are you texting her suggesting a meet up?

1. I guess it's more about the percentage of girls than the exact numbers of them. Due to plenty of things that I have to do during the week I'm not interested in large number of girls because I wouldn't have time to deal with them. What I am looking for is efficiency and I guess that mine efficiency sucks. What I am currently doing is chatting up to 2-3 girls per day in everyday situations, just to stay in form and be ready. I get around 1-2 numbers per week because I wouldn't have time to deal with more anyway. I understand that some of those numbers will lead me nowhere but it is not good when about 75% of them do. One might say that I should get more numbers then because "more numbers = more follow ups" even if my success rate is about 25%. But I need to time-optimise my game. And don't get me wrong, normally I would not whine about 25% success rate but the thing is that I we had really great connection with those girls during our initial meeting - and I mean both groups, those kiss-closed and those number closed.


Usually I haven't been thinking too much about my situation. When something didn't go as planned I just skipped to the next girl. But then I understood that I am loosing time like that and I need to work on my efficiency. And also I think that it is imprtant to understand where I am making mistakes, so maybe skipping the girl and moving to the next one might get me laid, but it won't teach me anything about my mistakes.

2. When getting a phone number I'm trying to make it in as natural and smooth way as possibe. When we are talking about some place and she is interested in it and we chat about it for some time I say something "Okay, I can take you there, let's exchange numbers" (note that I'm translating it to English, which is not my native language, so don't concentrate too much on specific words that I'm using here in my translation). Or when it is in public transport on train it can be something "It was nice talking to you, we should hook up one day". Are you suggesting that they might feel forced to give me the number? They could give me fake ones if they wanted. There are even some situations (few of them) when the girl is the one who suggests staying in touch (but not too many situations like that to come to any conclusions). So my guess (but I might be wrong) that at the point of number closing everything is fine. There must be something with my text game that sucks. I know that my biggest asset is that I can greatly improvise when during live meeting. So best chance for me to gain additional points is to meet her in person again. Usually when there is a second meeting then there usually is also the third. My problem is how to lead to the second one. Maybe I seem to desperate while trying to lead to the second meeting? Or maybe I seem too needy even when not mentioning any meetings? But I experiment with things. Sometimes I write the girl immediately after getting her number and sometimes I wait 1-2 days. I have not observed significant differences in results. I got both good and bad results. So my guess would be some issues with text game and/or seeming too needy but I might be wrong and maybe everything is fine with those two aspects and the issue is something else.

3. Usually after a nice build up when we start kissing it lasts for quite a long time. I mean even if we stop kissing, few minutes later it escalates and sometimes it is me and sometimes it is her who initiates more kissing. I try to escalate beyond kissing and usually get a lot of success with all this booby action etc. In some cases we follow up, eg. go to her's place and have sex, but those are not situations that I would like to concentrate right now, beacuse they are successful. The problem is that sometimes you just can't follow with sex at the same night (for various reasons: the girl needing to go somewhere else, me or her needing to wake up early,everything taking place in an environment where immediate sex is not possible and nor is changing the location, the girl having her period etc). But usually we do as much as possible in the conditions given. I guess that since we start kissing and doing all the other stuff except sex we are doing it as long as it is possible. Do you think that maybe I am overdoing it and I should leave her wanting more instead of giving her all this stuff?

4. I'm trying to start the conversation with a text that somehow relates to what happened during our first meeting. I think it works quite good. The first text is always great, but later the quality of conversation declines. So I always start this way becuse I observed that it brings me results. With other texts I'm trying to experiment. I'm trying to find a balance there. I don't want to ask her too many questions and engage her in long text conversatons (because noone want's to reply to such long messages) but I'm trying to go beyond meaningless bullshit and I am trying to somehow build some kind of connection, evolving from what we already established. Maybe I am doing this part wrong and it is not time for lengthy conversations. But on the other hand silly text about nothing bring me nowhere and the other ones at least sometimes give me results. And of course my hidden agenda is too lead to the second meeting as fast as possible because I understand that me being alon with a girl is my strongest point.