After having a few "dates" with girls, I have finally figured out my biggest problems when it comes to women, my sticking points.

The first is that I am way too serious of a person. I rarely crack jokes and I am definitely afraid to tease a girl. When people say, "treat her like your bratty little sister.", it means nothing to me as I don't have a sister and can't relate to the metaphor. I really do not know how to treat her or how to make teasing her or playing with her seem effortless.

My second problem is that I am always outcome dependent. My head is never set in the present moment. Even when I'm out alone with a girl I have no interest in dating, I still think about what to say next as she's talking and can never fully feel like I am in the present moment enjoying myself. When I'm with friends or family, it's very different as I am able to be present in the moment and just relax.

What are some small steps I can take to help myself in this situation? Try not to give me vague advice. If you can, give me small things I can do which can help me improve in the long run. I will have opportunities to practice between approaching and going out with women I know.

If you're a serious person, cracking jokes is your highway to hell in the courtship process. You'll always look too try hard and needy.

The secrets to being playful are: (1) Role playing; and (2) Incongruence. But of course, it takes time to learn these two skills. You'll have to start somewhere easier.

Get Into a Funny State

If you're not naturally funny, watch 2 or 3 episodes of Mr. Bean before you go out sarging. Do this for 21 days or around 3 weeks. If Mr. Bean can't make you laugh, choose shows that make you laugh. Everybody has a particular preference for a certain type of comedy. Maybe it's Cheech and Chong that gets your funny bones, or Leslie Nielsen, or Mike Myers. Take your pick and start from there.

Familiarize Yourself with Playful Body Language and Teasing

Go to a park and watch children play. Watch how the little boys tease little girls and then focus your attention on the little boy who makes the little girls giggle a lot. Get your eyes sharp and listen hard. Do this every weekend at least 10 times.

Role Playing, Incongruence and Managing Outcome Dependence

You'll only get to understand role playing after watching little boys and little girls tease each other at the playground. Calibrate though on the roles that you're going to play. Go overboard and you'll look like a nut case. Play it down and you'll have no memorable impact whatsoever.

Personally, I role play myself as the conservative gentleman and the girls I sarge as creeps who want nothing from me but to fuck my cock. Girls who are attracted to you will play along the roles you frame them on while those who are not attracted to you will give you dirty looks.

If it's the second case, act like nothing happened, eject, and sarge the next set. When I sarge, I sarge 3 to 5 sets moving from one set to the next and then going back to the first set for a second round of sarging. In about one hour, I'll have around 3 to 5 rounds of sarges for 3 to 5 sets of girls.

The secret to managing outcome dependence is action; lots of it. If you're sarging so many sets at the same time, action dampens down any form of thinking. You can think later after the sarges and not during the sarges since you're too busy to be even thinking about anything.

_________________
Approach. Open. Escalate. Isolate

Here are my two essential rules on texting that will save you tons of time and money:

general-questions/topic137931.html

How well do you interact with children? When I first started I would treat all girls as if they were 5 years old. It's the same kind of teasing and playfulness that you want in your interactions. Also, it's impossible to be intimidated by a 5 year old (or to get upset by something a five your old says to you). It's a type of very basic role playing you can do.

Hope that helps.

-Wolf

_________________
Screening: drama-free-relationships-1-screening-vt124827.html
Bad Behavior: drama-free-relationships-3-the-soft-next-vt125554.html

Go to a park and watch children play. Watch how the little boys tease little girls and then focus your attention on the little boy who makes the little girls giggle a lot. Get your eyes sharp and listen hard. Do this every weekend at least 10 times.

You have got to be kidding me. It sounds stalkerish and just plain freakin creepy! He'll end up getting arrested hanging around little kids and staring at them!

You have to develop a playfulness and be comfortable in your own skin. Right now your not comfortable being this around girls you like. How do you work on this? Hang out with girls 24/7. Hang out with so many girls that it just becomes "natural" to you... like when your with your family. Girls loves this confidence and will flirt and be playful with you. Just watch other social interactions like the other posters said. Watch funny stuff and ull start picking up on humor.

GL
Duke

Loosen up babe. Hear some Rolling Stones music. It's good for your anger. Watching children play in parks has never been a crime unless the OP is wearing a trench coat and then flashes his cock. So what would his crime be to get arrested, hmm? Murder?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lQlmywY_qEM[/youtube]

_________________
Approach. Open. Escalate. Isolate

Here are my two essential rules on texting that will save you tons of time and money:

general-questions/topic137931.html