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Hey everyone,
I'm new to this and I'm looking forward to becoming a better me, especially when it comes to talking to women. I am a really shy guy and I'm working on changing that. Sometimes I'll open a girl and things will go well and other times things will go absolutely horribly. That's okay, it happens. But it has become clear that one of my sticking points is the approach. I have trouble making that first approach without feeling like a complete creep. As I said, I'm shy, so I don't always know what to say. I think this is a common sticking point for someone new to the game and, obviously, it's a HUGE roadblock right now.
I know it's kind of vague but any advice you guys could offer would mean a lot to me. I do actually think about the advice I get and I do try it out. Thanks guys!
Smiley
Bro, you're nervous cause its something new. Think about the first time you got on a bike.... It was scary as fuck! Right? But after you figured out what you need to do to keep that bike upright and moving forward without your ass falling off... It got easier and easier every time you sat on that bike. Next thing you know, you were pulling the front wheel off the ground, spinning it around, hitting ramps, whatever and you were looking to challenge yourself in different ways with the bike. Treat pick up the same way. For someone who is new and looking through this forum... It looks like a bunch of nerds talking about a video game. It can become overwhelming. The key to being successful is taking it step by step and understanding what you are learning. You can't expect to be Dave Mirra the second you sit down and touch the pedals.
Keep in mind.... You aren't doing this to impress anyone. You are doing this for yourself. YOU WILL FUCK UP. I promise you. I have a little over 4 years of experience in pick up and I have done some DUMB DUMB SHIT. But that's how you learn..
You are right, a major sticking point for alot of guys who start getting into pick up fear the approach. That fear is built up based off of the results you have had from previous experiences where you got rejected. It's the same thing as when you were a little kid and you first touched fire... You know the properties of fire and now when you get close to it... You don't touch it cause its fucking HOT!
Your brain is designed this way to keep your being safe from harm... so it takes your past experiences and creates images in your head to prevent you from being harmed again. This works on your physical being and your emotional being. Your emotions were hurt in the past from your previous approaches and now you have created this image in your head of every time you approach a girl, you are going to get rejected and your emotions will be hurt again. So your brain develops fear of what could happen in order to keep your emotions safe. Make sense?
Alot of guy who are involved in pick up will say "just don't give a fuck about anything." or "learn to be an asshole" but in my opinion.... That is not right. You shouldn't completely disregard your own emotions in order to satisfy everyone else. Just learn what type of emotions you are sending off at a particular time and learn how to control them. I feel that if you can correctly gauge emotions, your own and others, that will make you unstoppable as a pick up artist and you WILL actually become the alpha male. People will naturally pick up on your emotional state and if you hold onto that state, people will jump into it themselves. Example... if you approach a group and you have your beer to your chest, your feet close together and you look like you are just plain sorry for your own existence.... What kind of emotions do you think you are sending off to the group? Regardless of what comes out of your mouth... they will FEEL nervous, negative emotions coming from you.
Now, if you walk into a set and your back and shoulders are relaxed, your arms down by your side, a slight smile/shit eating grin on your face, and you send off the vibe of I AM FUCKING SMILEY X AND I AM HERE TO HAVE A GOOD TIME BUT DON'T FUCK WITH ME... People are going to WANT you to be a part of their group. Because they will FEEL those positive emotions coming from you. And that my friend... is what will make opening a set much much easier... when your presence is not just heard... but FELT!
Hope this helps man
CHAT
