Hey Gents,

Flaking seems to be my big problem when it comes to women. It has been happening more often than not, which after a while gets frustrating. As to why it is happening to me, I am not sure. Ill give you an example:

Girl in one of my classes was giving clear IOI's. Looking at me, laughing at whatever I said and more. Opened her, #-closed, and then setup a coffee date. Felt great. Went out on the first coffee date, talked like for four hours. We both were just in the zone. Made plans for another coffee date. Again, things were going solid. laughing, there was genuine interest on both sides. So we ended up setting up another date. This time I went to her neck of the woods, and we hung out, went to some old as forts and went and got lunch. Again, things seemed to be going good. End of date 3 we kissed. it was pretty solid. During the date, we setup another date for the following week, where she would come down to my area. We would normally text back and forth maybe a couple of times a day. I started to notice that she wasn't really initiating convo's as much as before. I didn't really push things. Anyways we skip toward the night before date 4, I text her and ask her if we were still on for the following day. She flaked on me and was like "oh sorry I can't I have a family trip." I responded with Oh. Alright. and that was the last thing that was said and this was 3 days ago.

You happened to forget to tell me that you were going on a trip and couldn't tell me? If I didn't ask her, I would have been stood up and looked like a goon.

Initially my first thought was just to be like fuck her blah blah blah. But I thought it over and gave her the benefit of the doubt with it all and probably should have asked her earlier than the day before we were supposed to meet up.

The next step I'm thinking of taking is to call her and telling her "Hey I want to see you again. Lets do dinner on this day or this day." I was just going to completely "forget" about the flake and act like it never happened. Does this sound like a good thing to do?

Things I have noticed:
My text game is pretty bad. I'm usually good as far as responding with time to show I am busy. IE: wait 15 to 20 minute to respond.
I notice I tend to write more than she does. like 2-3 lines to . Other things I noticed was after like a date I would say thanks for coming out and having coffee, and continue to be the nice guy and be like oh it was my pleasure. and just almost going to far.

One thing I don't know how to respond to is something like this: Christmas eve she texted me and said that she wished I was coming down her chimney as a gift. I said, I could probably make the drive up their that night.

Another example night before Date 3 she said she couldn't wait to hang out, I said oh i know, me too, or something to that affect. What is the right way to go about these type of texts for future reference?


Thanks,
Broda18

Ahhh...Flakes. I love this topic. I get flakes, but I know which numbers will flake before I get them to a degree. Unless I picked up a girl who had a BF and lied to me about it, then I know whats up. Lets dive into how/why.

First problem with flakes is you game is not done properly. Not solid.

1. Not enough attraction.

Girl give out their numbers to anyone. You go out, girls go out socially with a lot of guys. You can diminish attraction by not escalating or pumping more BT spikes when meeting up later and stall out attraction.

2. Not qualifying.

Qualifying is: Compliance, Movement, and Hoops. You need all three done properly. A lot of guys skip it. You need to kino to solidify attraction and be qualifying. It is commonly skipped and it causes flaking.

3. No Comfort.

Comfort. Getting to know her and emotionally connecting is a HUGE issue. I advise you delve into these resources:

1. Sinn & Future Breakthrough Comfort
2. Gambler Naturals Book
3. Model's book by Entrophy

I use other things in comfort, but boiled down into:

1. Having Passion about a focus in your life.
2. Have enthusiasm about your habits.
3. Relating to and understanding her world.

You do these things, your comfort game is locked down.



Those are the three game problems of flakes.

Bad text game is harder to fix. When I help guys with specific girls I grab their phones, read convo's, tell them what I would have done and then have hi try to re-connect and do it.

My text game is a load of C/F and sexual innuendo's and interpretation. I keep it light and funny all the way to a meet up. Basically, I have fun with it, she see's it and wants in.

I sometimes do ramble in text. But when I write more it is because I was inspired by something (A key emotion to have in my opinion). When I see something cool I will send it out as if it were a group text. Such as:

"Hey guys, just saw this crazy kid running around shirtless in the grocery store. It looked like SOOO much fun. Who wants to do it with me?"

I drop that, it is random and fun and also sets up a future plan. If she does not reply I ignore.

A big issue in text game is not amount of words, or frequency, it is how heavy it is. If you are super playful and keep it light, it does not matter.

Dont do the time rule. You can wait 24 hours or 24 seconds. It is important to appear like you have a real life and have better things to do. Or a superior option is to ACTUALLY have a life and better things to do.

I like to break all rules based on how I feel and where the girl is at. But, if the rules of text works for you, do it.

On dates and via text, I act like I am doing her a favor.

She says: I can't wait to hang out.

I say: I have that effect on women.

Quick easy BT spike which reminds her why she likes you.

This post lacks focus because my mind is going crazy with different text options, flake issues and flake causes. So ask another question or a follow up and I will try to get on tomorrow and focus my mind to spew out something helpful.

_________________
Field Reports (I also link my best posts within this FR and personal Routines)

Frame Stacking for Attraction

Thanks White Lion. I appreciate this. Yeah I kind of threw it all at you at once, with all different topics and such. Ill be glad to respond with any questions.

My personal opinion is that if you are not great looking, not very rich, don't have the most exciting lifestyle, or have average game, then girls will be more prone to flake on you. It doesn't really matter what you do after you number close, because they won't assign much value to you, and therefore will have no problem flaking on you. Flaking is a form of rejection, not just something that randomly happens.

The reason flakes are so common is because guys make it so easy for girls to flake on them because they get tons of numbers without properly gaming the girls. And girls are 10 times more likely to give you a number than they are to show up for a day 2. This basically just sets girls up to give out their number to guys when they have no intention of doing anything else. It's the equivalent of liking someone on facebook. It's very easy to do in the spur of the moment, especially when you know that you can always ignore the person or unfriend them later.

What you need to do is treat the set like it's your first date together and go for the k-close, instadate, and/or f-close. You only get out of it what you put into it. If all you do is ask for seven digits, then all you'll get is seven digits. If you ask for a kiss, you'll get a kiss. If close a fuck, you'll get laid. You need to go for whatever it is you want out of the girl in that very moment, and that will make it more likely that you'll get more of that same thing in the future.

_________________
“Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'!” ~Audrey Hepburn

Staying in set for longer always reduces flaking. Some of the things you could do are:

Instant date her.
Isolate her from her group. (Which should be part of any group approach in a bar environment.)
Stay in set for at least 10 mins.
Try Daygame. (I always find daygame much better because girls are much less likely to be approached in the street and for this reason she is much more likely to remember you/feel value towards you.)
It's also advantageous to go for a kiss close.


It's all about getting the attraction and getting the comfort so she feels that you are attractive AND a normal, safe person to be with.