Hey guys, I wanted to introduce you my sticking point.
I'm a guy with high confidence, plus I look good.
I used to be the center of the attention in my company, but mistakes with good looking and chatty girls made me less popular and more hated.
I didnt have many girls in my life and i so want a girlfriend.
I often insulting people and it creates me look bad.
Now the people that seround me loves me very much, but I want to go back to better days, which I was the center of attention and less hated.
TY

Don't know much about you , but from what you wrote so far sounds like you might be a little paranoid.

ask yourself these questions

are you hypersensitive to criticism?
are you reluctant to confide in others for a fear that any information shared may be used against you?

if you answered yes, do something wrong on purpose where someone will have the chance criticise you and tell someone about an insecurity ( like you did here) and see if your worries are true.

there is a chance that you could be right, so have some escape material ready.

_________________
you can fake it till you make it, but if it feels REAL go with the flow!

but how could i change those habits and make me a better social life ?

if you answered yes to the questions give me an example of each worry and we can design a method to deal with it

you have to test it out to know if its a false or true belief 1st

_________________
you can fake it till you make it, but if it feels REAL go with the flow!

the answear for the first que is Yes and for the other one is NO.
in adition i didnt understand when u said "if you answered yes, do something wrong on purpose where someone will have the chance criticise you and tell someone about an insecurity ( like you did here) and see if your worries are true. "
TY

Show vulnerability. The reason people turn on you is because they fear you, resent you, are annoyed by you, or want to put you in your place. When you show that you are weak just like them, and that you have other issues going on which are much more important than people you have disrespected in the past or things you've said, the way people view you will change. People will show compassion for you and begin to forgive and accept you.

But you'll have to learn to be self-deprecating, which means being humble and willing to criticize your own shortcomings. There are ways to be alpha with a quiet humble confidence, and not just being a big barking beast who puts everyone down and steals all the attention.

Taking a page out of how to make friends and influence people...If you want to win over people whose favor you have lost, do something nice for them. A gift perhaps. Maybe bring in two dozen donuts into the office tomorrow. I guarantee you people will not go around badmouthing you when their mouths are filled with the free food you bought them out of the goodness of your heart.

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“Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'!” ~Audrey Hepburn

those questions are meant to tap into a psychological construct. the problem with self report is people usually say whats socially desirable if they know what construct it taps into.

this is what i meant; come up with a worry that is specific and make a cause and effect statement.

answered yes to the first question

hypotheses
(you)cause: if i act like ( insert behaviour)
(them)effect: people will think/ say/ do (insert behaviour)
(your appraisal ) after effect: I will feel or act ( insert behaviour)

you go out and act out you're behavioural worry on purpose and see if it does in fact transition to the social effect you are worried about.

alternate hypotheses: if it doesn't eventuate then you can change your appraisal of the situation and carry on.

hypotheses is true: there is a chance that your worry might be true, if this happens you need an escape strategy or a quick comeback to get over it during the test.

If you lack impulse control over these socially undesirable behaviours then you might ask yourself if you have enduring traits that carry across situations or is it context specific.

_________________
you can fake it till you make it, but if it feels REAL go with the flow!

less hated more popular is very nice info for me and other people. many many thank for the lates info.